Our BEES will blot out the sun!

[thehefner]

Here's another little idea, in conjunction with THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES.

Back around fall 2005, tazira was completely tickled, to say the least, when I had excitedly reenacted the entirety of Peter Jackson's KING KONG trailer. In my own Hefnerian fashion, of course. She really wished we could have recorded my one-man trailer. Well, then the 300 trailer hit, and while everybody was making fun of that, I just had to do my version for Jaki as well. It too was a hit.

And so she's come up with a new idea:

"Trailer Trash."

You do movie trailers, 300, Brokeback Mountain, Harry Potter, etc., the first time in English, and the second time in Spanish, all the same sound effects and physical gestures. Arthur and I were talking this over, the other night. We really think it's an idea that could take off. We might do a couple as well, on, say, You Tube.

Spanish would be hilarious, if only I could speak it with any proficiency at all. But anyway, I thought about it, and I realized something that really might work:

What if I performed one-man trailer reenactments before THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES?

Think about it. At the start of the show, I come out (perhaps dressed in nothing but a speedo and cape made out of a trash bag, with a six pack drawn on my tummy) and say, in a meek, Droopy-dog/Butters kinda voice: "Th-the following preview has been approved for all audiences by the M-Motion Picture Association of America." And I just let loose with the damn thing, from every "THIS. IS. SPARTARARAGHAH!!!" right down to the NIN music.

And then I become meek again, say, "Th-the feature presentation will begin in five minutes. Thank you." and scamper off. Then five minutes later, I return dressed in my shiny blue suit (my image!) and begin the Tammy Wedding story.

It's an idea. Might be a good way to warm up the crowd. Mom approves. But of course, I definitely wouldn't want to take anything away from the actual Hefner Monologues. Thoughts?

Comments

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Like that.
Just.
Like.
That.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

So that's one vote for "yes" then?

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Well, if each personality counts as a single vote, it's 17.
And growing.

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I love it!

But can you get a cheap little superman outfit and put TT on the front? I think that might bring home the point more quickly.

(Otherwise, you might want to advise the gays and the ladies that they'll want to bring some spare bills to the show. ;-)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

TT? Aroo? I don't get it.

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Is it a bird? A plane?

No, it's...... Trailer Trash!

(He'd be a superhero to me!)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

hehehe. Chalk another one up on the theme of "trying to find my identity."

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

If you can logistically do it, GO FOR IT.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'm still waiting for someone to tell me it's a bad idea.

They'd better do it, otherwise I'm seriously going to open my show with a 300 trailer.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

But you realise we want to see it so we won't discourage you.

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

If you go...

To one wedding...

Alone...

DON'T! Go to Tammy's.


Seriously though, it sounds hilarious, but I can see people being all "WtfTrailers?"

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Haha!

I was also thinking about doing MACHETE. But that'd be a little less universal.

Although the wedding wasn't Tammy's... ah, but you have not yet heard the story. Perhaps someday...

I think if I do this, more people will be "WTF guy in a trashbag speedo and with a six pack drawn onto his untoned belly whaaa???"

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

Is your cape going to be trashbag too? Man, I used to do that all the time when I was a kid. My mom would yell at me for wasting the bags. :(

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

tazira is insisting that it be so. See, I actually DO have a crushed red velvet cape from Ren Faire days, but she thinks it'd look too nice. But then, yeah, I don't want to risk coming off as "THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY," especially not if I'd be better off just coming out in regular clothes and just doing it.

[charisma18.livejournal.com]

Dude, I would love to do this, but deep down I know that you would be able to do it SO much better. Your rendition of the 300 fucking killed me.

But I'd say drop the Droopy-dog costume thing. Just come out on stage, dressed normal, say "The following preview yada yada yada" in a normal voice, then jump on in.

If you show up in a strange costume, you might as well wear a sign that says "I AM TRYING TO BE FUNNY," and that would kill the bit. I think the real beauty of this is the enthusiasm that you would throw into the trailer rendition *as though it were completely normal to do so.*

[tazira.livejournal.com]

Totally agreed. What he said. I'd actually, really love to see you do a show that's just trailers, sometime. It's got the One Man Star Wars thing going, in two-minute bits, and, hell, that guy manages to make a living at it.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

I second your agreement. And I also want to see a totally trailers show. Heffie is teh roxor.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

On the other hand... those run the risk of being far more popular than the Hefner Monologues, and other things that mean way more to me personally. I could see doing a trailer before every Hefner Monologues show, or a couple videos on youtube. I think it's perfect as an opening to my Hefner Monologues shows. And maybe, just maybe, a private engagement here and there.

But I really, really don't want to be knows as the "Trailer Trash" guy, y'know? It'd be like, wow, soooo close to what I really WANT to be doing, but not close enough! Know what I mean?

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

sorry kids.. its kinda already being done by my friend Coleman (who you will all meet at the wedding/party.. he's my emcee!)..

http://thefreak.livejournal.com/659436.html

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

oh, didnt see the lock.

sorry, dude.. wasnt trying to rain on your parade.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

No no no, dude, it's my bad. You respond to LJ posts you get via e-mail, right? Well as you can see, I already deleted that post when I saw that you were responding to Jaki's post, not to me. It's all good!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Just as well. I definitely don't want to be "the Trailer Trash guy," if you know what I mean.

I still think it would be great to do a trailer before the Hefner Monologues.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

it'd be funny.. but i think it would kind of take away from your actual show.

it'd be kind of like being your own opening act.

does that make sense.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's why it's FUNNY.

I dunno, I think it makes perfect sense. This whole show is sort of a showcase for what I can do, and what I'm about, is it not? Well during this show I'm gonna be all over the place, yelling, shouting, singing, dancing, not to mention putting my geekitude for everyone out there to see. Not to mention the fact that my storytelling anyway with rather kinetic. I dunno, I just think it'd be perfect. Especially for a show that's not exactly stand-up, not exactly performance, but not exactly storytelling either.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

i think you'd be mixing mediums this way, sort of.

i just think that it would take away from it.

but thats just my opinion.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll be throwing a big reading party in a month or so, trying to get a bunch of Rudes and Speakeasy people to come for food and drinks, and I'll give a reading of the whole thing (once I have it). I'd love for you to come along and lend me your insight. Maybe the whole thing will work better in context. And maybe not. And maybe a lot of the people here who think it'll work will think otherwise when they hear it in context (myself included). But in the meantime, let's give it a fair shake and see how it all balances out.

And also, I know it's not exactly the same thing, but Spinal Tap opened for themselves (disguised as the Folksmen).

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

test running it is the way to go.

let me know when that is. :)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You bet I will. Frankly, I'd like to know as well! ;)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

And I was very drunk at the time, too! Imagine what it'll be like sober!

It wasn't so much Droopy-dog as much... well, subconsciously, I guess I was thinking Andy Kaufman doing "Mighty Mouse," if you know what I mean.

And you might well be right on that final point. Hmm...

[charisma18.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think you're right on the money with the Andy Kaufman Mighty Mouse thing. I see this as being very much the same kind of comedy.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I delivered my Best Man speech at my brother's wedding much the same way. Coming up to the mic, looking shy and nervous, spilling a bit of wine, looking back at my notes, then going back to the mic. Then back at the notes again. Then back at the mic. Silence. And then:

"MAWWAGE! Mawwage is what bwings us togevah... to-DAY!" And so on.

Yes, I did a Hefner Monologue for my Best Man speech.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

That sounds hilarious and scary at the same time. I'm for it!