still a work in progress. just, as it turns out, not for long

[thehefner]

Huh. This "being numb" thing is a strange new experience. It feels like my temples have been stuffed with cotton balls coated in novocaine.

The first news is back on the Dad front. It's a malignant tumor. It's so big he can't even swallow. The doctors give him another year or two at most, but that's only if he undergoes radiation, and gets a feeding tube in his stomach, and... well, what's all I can really say right now until I see him tomorrow morning. Nita and I will visit him, and no matter what she thinks (I get the distinct impression she isn't comfortable with Mom, to say the least), I'm bringing my mother with me. Doctors have a way of just assuming you understood what the hell it was that they just told you, and Mom's job is to go from hospital to hospital, playing interpreter to patients, and being knowledgeable of the options.

Hint: we don't have many.

I just hope, I hope to God, that Dad's awake enough, clear enough from sedation, that he can tell us what he wants to do. Nita and I are fairly certain, but Mom wants to make certain we (and he too) completely understands the possibilities ahead. It's not like my grandfather, who was so loopy on sedation and Alzheimer's that we couldn't know what he would have wanted when they found the cancer. Neither Nita nor I want to make any sort of decision here, not even when we're fairly certain we know what he'd want.

In the coming days (and perhaps weeks and months), I don't want e-hugs or mere standard words of sympathy. Those are appreciated, don't get me wrong. But send me cat macros. Comic stuff, movie stuff stuff. Really, just get my geek going. Offer to pimp or help out with the Hefner Monologues, even. It's what is going to make me happiest doing in the next few months, and hopefully onward.

Meantime. I still have my final class for Studio Theatre tonight, and final scenes on Friday. And then Saturday, I'm gonna perform the "Drunk in Bath" Hefner Monologue before FAUSTUS, and a week later, I'll be playing the good doctor myself. In my last class at Studio Theatre, my scene partner's fiancee died a week before final scenes, and she STILL went up there and did it anyway.

The show must go on. Or like Johnny Go says: You can't stop the rhythm, pally. You can't stop the rhythm.

At least that grilled cheese sammitch I just made helped. Maybe I shouldn't be listening to my Sad Bastard mix, but really, what else can I do until class tonight? Gym and shower, maybe. Hm, yeah, that might be good.

Comments

large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

The writer is finishing his book material so he has guest people doing his strip. Only they are drawing Snooch and Eben how they want to.... the personalities are alll still there - but it's been neat to follow the different drawings.

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

oh how is that better? Besides, I eated it.

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Always, always a classic.

I just wish I could find the one of the sad tiger with blood smeared around its mouth, with the caption, "I brought you a human... but I eated it."

Re: large drawing of cats = cat macros?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. Pretty great. If you dig this sort of thing, someday I'm really gonna have to introduce you to a little comic called WHAT'S MICHAEL?

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Prepare yourself for a bunch of cat macros. Most of which you've probably seen already, but still. They are awesome. I will send you all I have.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Many are classics that will never, even get old. Send away! :)

[plasticity.livejournal.com]

no cat macros, but a link to streaming episodes of Spaced, the Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Jessica Stevenson slacker sitcom. Tim, Simon Pegg's character, works in a comic shop, and routinely bursts into passionate geekboy rants, including a v. amusing running gag about his hate for The Phantom Menace. and it's perfect for film geeks because like every five minutes there's a surreal homage to classic films. you probably don't have time to watch them right now but they're waiting. and maybe that'll give me a chance to a) get my laptop back, b) burn them to dvd, and c) send a copy your way.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh ROCK, we still don't have that on DVD here and I've so wanted to see it! If I have the free time (or to pass the time at work), I'll SO be checking that out!

Oh God, thankee!! You don't have to go through all that trouble, but if you really wanna, then I say thankya heartily, so's I do.

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

To think I sent you an email somewhat related to the Monologues before I even read this. But it wasn't silly, and silly I can do. Hell, I thought of you as soon as I found this:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/grindhouse-movies.php?page=1

Enjoy.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Re: your e-mail-- hey, awesome! That may well come in handy indeed when I get around to fleshing out that story.

And yes, yes I saw those Grindhouse posters! As anything with those Something Awful posts, most are lame, but a handful are just pure brilliance!

[morganashkevron.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure this is just about every cat macro on teh intartubez (as they would say...I think). Enjoy!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

...

Yay.

That is all. *goes to kill a few hours giggling in a most unmanly fashion*

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

I've heard tell of you being deeply awesome in Faustus.



And so, in acordance with your wishes, you've brought me to whip out my CATMACROS!11!!(*dundunduhduhduh*)

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

hehehehehe!

Moar!

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to keep these as inoffensive as possible (which is actually kind of hard. I'm a terrible person).







AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

Now with added Video!

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

This dude is hilarious. I'm a huge fan and I don't even listen to this kind of music.



The sheer geektastical awesome of this vid bring the lulz every time

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

That first one just scared the fuck out of me.
But the second one made it all better.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ah! I forgot to mention "Send me cool youtube videos!" Because our little session last time was awesome.

Pretty damn cool! I'm gonna rewatch this a few times! Very cool! All I have to offer as response to this is:



Since I'm assuming you've seen "Coin-Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls. If not... ooh, you must!

And thankee! It is appreciated.

Anti-Humor fun with quotation marks.

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

Don't try to explain to me it's "funny" because it's not.
Don't try to explain to me "it's funny because it's not."
I know "not funny".
This ain't it.

and only because I haven't yet seen the brilliance that is the Hefner Monologues live in concert:
"I'm like David Sedaris, except I like girls, and he can tell a story!"

Re: Anti-Humor fun with quotation marks.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I... just don't quite have the sparks flying off in the old brain-box to keep up with you right now. So to all this, I must respond with a hearty, "Awhuh??"

Also, wait, I can't tell a story? But I do like girls, yes, that much is true... but actually, my stories have more of an actual arc than Sedaris!

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

Geeky! this icon (http://userpic.livejournal.com/46753943/2443633), from a friend who got it from someone else, always makes me laugh! I can't stop staring at it!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That is just full of ridiculous awesome wonder and great. Yay, thankee!

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! Did you see the animation I did of the image I just finished? I made an animation that shows my progress along the way... maybe it's just because I did the pic but I find the animation hypnotizing. :D (link (http://pics.livejournal.com/kwsapphire/pic/002ws7ka/g6))

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's actually pretty cool to watch. I've always been kind of a fan of deconstructing art. There was this one comic where the world was unraveling, so one page becomes black and white, and the next page is just the pencils, and the next page is just the pencil layouts, and the next page is just script (with annotations in red marker).

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

That sounds really cool! What a creative way to do a comic.. ^_^

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

More funnies for you! (link (http://ethangilchrist.livejournal.com/360305.html))

[pondering-duck.livejournal.com]

If you are still interested, Lois and I would like to film you performing (perhaps over the course of more than one performance)

I don't know which version you would want us to film. If you wouldn't mind giving me dates I will see if she is free. Unfortunately if she isn't I don't know if I will be able to do it because the equipment would have to be checked out under her name. Still I would like to help.


I am not an E-hug sort of guy but I am sorry to hear about your dad.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That'd be great, and I'd really appreciate it. Here's the info:

1021 7th St. NW
Washington, DC 20001
Cost: $15.00

7/20 7:00pm

7/22 4:00pm

7/25 7:00pm

7/27 9:30pm

7/29 3:00pm

No idea which ones will be what nights.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Grilled cheese sandwiches cure everything. They're like emotional green tea.

Um, this is the best I can come up with right at the moment. I don't know that it's hilarious, but it's certainly mystifying.

Also, I'm no Sutherland (though my hometown has kind of adopted him), but my inbox is barer without commentary tracks. Drop me a line if you want. It doesn't have to have anything profound in it. Silly is very important.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

... wow. That's... special.

Which do you mean, Donald or Keifer? Either way, I'm actually seriously thinking of sending you my Two-Face novel, which is 3/4 of the way done and still in very rough format, but I think I'd love to see what you'd think of it. I just wanna write one more little scene and yeah, I'll send it your way. Thankee!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm more awake now, I can do better: They're there for all your macro needs at lol_bees! Plus, I don't know if you've seen Alan Moore's wedding picture, but I can't help tacking "DAMN RIGHT IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS" in proper macro font on it whenever I look at it.

I mean Donald, as he appears in your icon where he's pointing really hard. I don't know that my hometown gets as excited about Kiefer, either.

I'll for sure read it, but you might have to help me with the Two-Face mythology. I've been a bad Batfan. I know a little more about Typhoid Mary, though, from Deadpool. Which probably isn't what she's really like.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Re: Bees... you knew what I was gonna say here, right?

What is that? What is... whuh... nuh... no no no, not the bees, NOT THE BEES, AARRRRGHHHHHHH, ARGHHH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES, THEY'RE INMUAH ABLUAHBLUAHBLUAH... *ptoo* ptoo*

That would be a fucking brilliant Alan Moore macro. I would even vote it for public office.

Well, Keifer is listed (along with Alex Trebek as evil overlord) as part of your country's sinister plot to rule the world.

As for not being up on Batman nor Two-Face mythology... great! Excellent! Perfect! Because this novel is totally in a "Year One" setting (which also means, more or less BATMAN BEGINS area). Typhoid Mary's not involved in this at all, and we won't get to her story for a long time yet. This novel came about when I realized, to make the Typhoid Mary story work, I needed to establish a lot of Harvey backstory, way beyond what anyone had ever done with his origin.

Which, with Bloo as my consultant, resuled in a full-length novel purely on the origin of Two-Face, focusing on everything I've loved about the character. At the same time, much of that is from my own personal identification, so by giving him much of my own personal experience, this book (based on quite a number of previously-told stories) has somehow become the most personal work of fiction I've ever done.

So yes. Yes, once I edit it to the point of not being totally ashamed to have you read my typos, I shall send it your way, chapter by chapter. Because it won't all be done for some time, and besides, I wanna see if it'll fly in serial format.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Naturally! And this is the part where you punch out Leelee Sobieski!

Unbelievable Edwardian frock coat, care of Alan Moore, for president?

He certainly is, but we don't like him as much as we like Donald. And it's not a sinister plot, which is why it's going to work. We're going to rule the world because everyone loves us best! As soon as we get rid of Stephen "Cowboy" Harper, that is. Seriously. The Prime Minister of Canada shouldn't get a hard-on every time a car horn plays "God Bless America". That is bad form.

Got it! I'll get to it shortly.

[disc-sophist.livejournal.com]

Having been unable to find the bloody tiger macro, I offer this instead:

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I just woke up after six hours of sleep, and still perhaps a teeny bit blurry from the single martini I made, and I don't have time to reply to any of the other comments left for me in the past few hours just yet...

... but this is made of SO MUCH WIN. I am seriously still giggling here. Wow. WOW. And what a great picture, I can't believe I've never seen that one before!

I shall likely return to this picture later today. Yay. Yay. Yay.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

have you ever tried putting bacon in a grilled cheese sandwich? it's quite tasty. I recommend it.

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

God, that's classic.

David Keith or Keith David?

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

fuck this. i'm calling you.