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thehefner1. Pick 15 movies that you have special feelings for.
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue that mean something to you.
3. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.
4. If possible, after the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.
1.) "You know, Jill, you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month - he must have been a happy man."
2.) "What is it out here with these women?"
"Oh please, Harry, they're no different from anywhere else."
"Yes, they are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. I'm telling you, you take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood-- dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular. Now, you take one of these... gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I *bet* you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver."
"Denmark."
"That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my paw-paw!"... and then they all come out here! I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and *shook* it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on." KISS KISS BANG BANG. In its own small way, it's a pretty well perfect film. I'll take Shane Black's banter over Whedon, Tarantino, and Mamet any day.
3.) "That your family?"
"... yes."
"Heh. Nice family."
4.) "There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art." SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE. The film itself has sort of become a real test for potential friends/lovers of John Hefner, or so my Mom thinks. If she doesn't get SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE, it's not meant to be. And that line in particular has never left my mind since I first saw it. I've never been able to add to it or revise it in any way.
5.) "That... was really... sneaky..." RAVENOUS. According to the commentary track, that line was an ad-lib, as evidenced by the natural laugh that followed. I love this film because there's simply nothing else like it, and it has an ability to sneak up on people and get under their skin in ways that no other movie I've ever seen can do. Even if people don't like it (and a surprisingly small number of the people I show it to don't), can't get it out of their heads for days after.
6.) "Death is the road to awe." THE FOUNTAIN. Much as I try not to let it bug me, it increasingly pains me how this film does nothing for 50% of the people who see it (I mean that literally, from what I saw on rottentomatoes.com). I have to keep reminding myself that nobody is going to see that movie the same way as anybody else. It's so wide open to interpretation that it could be "pretty, pretentious crap" to one person and "the most beautiful movie I've ever seen" to another.
7.) "It's just you and me now, sport."
8.) "L--listen to me. There's a--there's a danger here...! These people are dangerous...! They're wild. Listen to me. Listen."
"I have. Now sit down and don't open your mouth again."
9.) "N--no, I just moved in. I--I'm afraid I forgot to bring any cuhuuutlery."
10.) "For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving. Maybe I'm going home." GATTACA. Still one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen, and certainly one of the greatest sci-fi movies.
11.) "Love is, is too weak a word for what I feel-- I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I-- I do, don't you think I do?" ANNIE HALL. Until "HURT ME! I NEED MATERIAL!": THE JOHN HEFNER STORY is made into a film, ANNIE HALL is still the most Hefnerian movie yet made.
12.) "GET OUTTA TH' CALLALLARARGHAGHHHH!!!" WHAT ABOUT BOB? A deeply underappreciated comedy from Frank Oz, with an unheralded, brilliant comedic performance from Richard Dreyfuss. I'm always amazed at how the movie should not work, at how Bob could so easily be a scary frickin' psycho stalker, if it weren't for Dreyfuss selling the movie. When you turn your star, Bill Murray, into the straight man...? That's a thing of beauty, that is.
13.) "Oh, you are issuing a clear invitation to the dance."
14.) "I'M RUNNING THIS MONKEY FARM NOW, FRANKENSTEIN, AND I WANNA KNOW WWWHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING WITH MY TIME?!?!" DAY OF THE DEAD. I still think DAWN OF THE DEAD is Romero's best, which gets better each time I see it. But DAY of the dead is still my favorite, because it has the two best special effects and the two greatest characters from the quartet. Bub is obviously one, and the other is Captain Rhodes, King Dick of All Horror Movie Dicks. God bless you, Joe Pilato.
15.) "I think the end of the world just came for that bag of Fritos I had in my pants pocket." THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. This has somehow become very close to my heart. You will likely never, ever see it unless I show it to you. And if you see it, you'll never, ever see a film like it again. It's weird in a way that no other film has EVER been weird.
Bonus!
"wait have 2 type with 1 hand am cumming right now... ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoohohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo+_*&^%$£!£$%&*&*^%&^%$££D!$%^&**&**&&*12303894848575us7sjc7d78s87o/s878usuiu7sbom/"
"was it good?"
"no."
CLOSER. There are a number of scenes in that film that stand out, but this one especially. Where else can you see a whole scene based on IM, timed perfectly with classical music?
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue that mean something to you.
3. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.
4. If possible, after the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.
1.) "You know, Jill, you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month - he must have been a happy man."
"Oh please, Harry, they're no different from anywhere else."
"Yes, they are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. I'm telling you, you take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood-- dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular. Now, you take one of these... gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I *bet* you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver."
"Denmark."
"That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my paw-paw!"... and then they all come out here! I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and *shook* it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on."
3.) "That your family?"
"... yes."
"Heh. Nice family."
7.) "It's just you and me now, sport."
8.) "L--listen to me. There's a--there's a danger here...! These people are dangerous...! They're wild. Listen to me. Listen."
"I have. Now sit down and don't open your mouth again."
9.) "N--no, I just moved in. I--I'm afraid I forgot to bring any cuhuuutlery."
13.) "Oh, you are issuing a clear invitation to the dance."
Bonus!
"was it good?"
"no."
CLOSER. There are a number of scenes in that film that stand out, but this one especially. Where else can you see a whole scene based on IM, timed perfectly with classical music?
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:07 pm (UTC)Bonus. Closer
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Date: 2007-07-06 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:11 pm (UTC)14) Day of the Dead
15) The Ninth Configuration
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Date: 2007-07-06 07:50 pm (UTC)14.) "Hhh... uhhoo Ann' Ah-lee-ah...!"
and
15.) "The atoms in the water have manners."
You're now one of the previous few who've seen THE NINTH CONFIGUATION. We should start a fan club, which would also function as a support group.
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Date: 2007-07-06 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:15 pm (UTC)11) Annie Hall
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Date: 2007-07-06 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 07:52 pm (UTC):blink: :blink:
'Scuse me while I go geek out again...
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Date: 2007-07-06 08:52 pm (UTC)ooh, I'll play.
Date: 2007-07-06 07:17 pm (UTC)#12: What About Bob?
Re: ooh, I'll play.
Date: 2007-07-06 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 08:25 pm (UTC)Although like any good zombie movie, # 8 features a microcosm of humanity, of what happens when the pretensions of polite society are ripped away. So much of the nobility and ugliness of humanity can be found in that film/play.
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Date: 2007-07-07 01:37 am (UTC)I think the bit that most sticks with me from Sunday In the Park With George (other than *all* of Putting It Together) is 'Look I made a hat where there never was a hat.' That idea gets me through a lot of writing moments. Sure, my stuff hasn't been produced yet, but it exists. It didn't used to exist and now it does. I just can't get over that sometimes.
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Date: 2007-07-07 03:04 am (UTC)I actually put in that hat line first. Yay, you passed the SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE test!
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Date: 2007-07-07 06:04 am (UTC)Yeah, as soon as you'd mentioned there was a Sunday In the Park with George test I thought 'Well, *that* won't be a problem.'
But I may have to 're-educate' you about Wheadon dialogue. I don't love him for the faux-slang (which grates on even my nerves after a while - and I love his stuff), I love exchanges like this:
"Wait, are you saying she's psychic? Isn't that kind of... science fiction?"
"You live on a spaceship, dear."
"Yeah? And?"
And I'm pretty sure he was responsible for this one from X-Men: "Oh yes. Fire a bolt of lightning into a big copper conductor. And I thought you people lived in a school."
(See? Come with me to the dark side. Why this certainly isn't a rabbit hole I'm pulling you toward! ;-)
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Date: 2007-07-07 02:04 pm (UTC)But I am sorry, my dear. Whedon makes my teeth bleed. He makes everyone sound like a fourteen-year-old girl. EVEN WOLVERINE!
There's a smugness that I dislike, a self-satisfaction with knowing how clever he is, that just drives me bonkers. But remember! You're talking to a guy who feels similarly about Stoppard. It's just a writing trait I dislike. Greatly.
But yeah, that school line? He has his own heroes talk like that to others and each other. I don't like that kind of snark. I find it mean-spiritied, in a way.
(Also, regarding the X-MEN movie? He's also the guy who wrote Storm's line about a toad being struck by lightning. Joss has since said that Halle delivered the line wrong, likening her delivery to Desdemona. Okay, Joss, two things. First, do you mean Lady Macbeth? Goneril, maybe? Because you clearly have never read OTHELLO. And secondly, Joss? It's still a shitty fucking line.)
But while I damn well near hate Whedon's stuff, that doesn't mean I think he's bad, just not for me. Just very, very, very not for me. And don't you think I've had to come to terms with the understanding that any good geek girls I find will also be Whedon fans?
All I ask is that they don't wear "Joss Whedon is my Master Now." Any level of that sort of fan-worship unsettles me.
And that they watch and love FARSCAPE.
That last one's a must too.
(Note: If you know who Jane Esperson is, then I presume you know who Ben Edlund is. Now I love love love love love love THE TICK and THE VENTURE BROS)
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Date: 2007-07-09 06:21 am (UTC)Well, as long as we're on 'my dear' terms, that's all right then. ;-)
It occurred to me after reading your reply that this could mean, were we to affiliate ourselves, I could cherry-pick the best of Whedon's dialogue to use in conversation and let you think it was my own (though it would be hard to work the phrase 'some people juggle geese' into everyday talk).
Farscape? I have not yet been exposed to this creamy goodness. By the by, how well versed are you on West Wing seasons 1-4?
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Date: 2007-07-09 02:08 pm (UTC)You just might, I admit.
The thing is, I also love KIM POSSIBLE and SCRUBS, the dialogue of which isn't exactly too far removed from Joss. I dunno, I'm just deeply uncomfortable when it comes to him. His X-MEN comics have been pretty darn good, although I could seriously and totally live without such lines as "Yeah, your not saying that would be nifty."
See, it breaks my heart that so many people are huge FIREFLY fans, yet have never watched FARSCAPE! Breaks my heart! Sometimes I feel like such a lone geek. Well, I would be, if Mom hadn't been the one to get me into it in the first place.
Imagine FIREFLY, with your lead being Bruce Campbell by way of MST3K... and Jim Henson muppets. All made by Australians and New Zealanders. Unless I'm mistaken, this show was the first ragtag group of outlaw antihero gunslinging adventurers, lead by a misplaced human who has to keep making pop culture references just to stay sane. See icon.
And honestly, as much as Spike is one of the few things I can happily enjoy in the Whedonverse, I really do think Scorpius out-Spikes Spike. Although he's not hot, so he can't entirely win there. They have the same cheekbones, anyway!
And no, I have not seen a single episode of the West Wing. Clearly I must, but be warned: by the time I sit down to watch DVDs of TV shows, I'll have to add it to my stack of LOST, HEROES, BATTLESTAR GALACTACA, and the final season of OZ.
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Date: 2007-07-07 02:01 pm (UTC)13. Exorcist III
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Date: 2007-07-07 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-07 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-09 04:19 am (UTC)