When there if no more room in Hell, the deade shall walk the Earth

[thehefner]

So I have just been informed that there was a shopping mall in the Elizabethan period. At first, I thought it still existed, or that it was a new, Renaissance Faire type dealie, and I got all excited.

Just think about it: take your typical all-out garb, then mix in Richmond's annual Zombie Lurch... you already see where I'm going with this, right?

DAWNE O' THE DEADE

All we'd need are zombie minstrels playing mall muzak, especially the legendary "Gonk,", and we'd be the stuff of legend.

But alas, I skimmed too quickly. The mall is long gone. Where are nerds with disposable income when you need them? But a man can dream, can't he? A man can dream.

Zombie Renaissance Faire costumes. Aaaaaaaaaaand GO!

Comments

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Now, of course, I picture Orphu and Mahnmut, the hyper-literate and Shakespeare loving androids from Dan Simmons' masterpieces Ilium and Olympos, discussing where the restrooms might have been.

Because if you've read those MASTERPIECES, you know about the hysterical conversation that Mahnmut has with Shakespeare in a dream sequence (yes, androids dream, as these are sophisticated agglomerations of technology with biological bits thrown int, but they consider themselves a separate grouping of life, called "moravecs") when he meets Willie on a bridge in London.

Here's a robot from the 32nd century dreaming of talking with Shakespeare, his idol, and all he can focus on is the HORRIBLE SMELL of London as they walk around.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that sounds as good as Neil Gaiman's immortal Hob Gadling going to a Ren Faire and complaining, "Why isn't everyone covered in shit? And where are all the great big tumors hanging off faces?!"

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Ilium and Olympos are better than that scene. I'm sorry, but they are.

You need to read those books. You're depriving yourself if you don't, although warning: if you aren't familiar with Homer, you won't get quite everything out of it.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Then in that case, it'll go on the bottom of the pile, right after I read ILIAD and ODYSSEY along with the CONAN books, the entire New Gods saga, Joseph Campbell, and Walter Simonson's THOR as preparation for my Herakles book. Also, I need to read actual versions of the myth of Herakles.

But before all that, I need to read THE WORLD WITHOUT US, Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD, and biographies of Sammy, Dino, and Ol' Blue eyes as research for BUB AND JOHNNY GO.

Whereas right now, I'm still embroiled in biographies of RFK and Elliot Ness (including Ness' own book, THE UNTOUCHABLES) for research for the Harvey Dent novel. I'm also going to need to read up on Camille Claudel for insight into Gilda.

And somewhere along there, I need to read the next four or so books of the CHRONICLES OF AMBER, as I promised Bloo I would, and I similarly promised fiveseconddelay that I'd read WAITING FOR THE GALACTIC BUS. And I need to read the complete works of Borges, because Borges is awesome.

And then I promised Nicola I'd read three books as well, but I can't remember them off-hand. I have a list somewhere.

And somewhere along the way, I really do want to reread THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV and THE IDIOT. In fact, I really should try to plow my way through and finish CRIME AND PUNISHMENT. And I never did get too far in my copy of DEMONS, which I really need to do.

So, yeah. Remind me again in a year or five of what those titles are. ;p

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

I can feel my Pimp Hand Of Zombie Justice warming up already.
Suffer not a corpse to walk, et cetera.

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

...That would be epic. And probably more authentic than the traditional Ren Fair, maybe? Bring out your dead!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

All right, SOMEone else thinks this is a brilliant idea!

Also, did you get my e-mail?

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

I did not. :{ Re-send it to rmartinezjax [at] msn [dot] com, plz.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Okay, check now.