POPEYE pimpery
Feb. 2nd, 2008 03:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerEDIT: Entire post has been edited. The management wishes everyone to know that those responsible for the previous post have been sacked.
So I was shocked to discover that the old POPEYE comics are fucking brilliant.
No, seriously. I had no idea. Like most people, when I think of Popeye, I think of the cartoons. Not a fan. The same damn plot over and over, Bluto, spinach, the whole deal. So when Fantagraphics put a giant hardcover collection of the original pre-cartoon E.C. Segar THIMBLE THEATER comic strips, my immediate reaction is, "no thanks." I mean, it's Popeye. And besides, it's... old. Ewww.
What a fool I was.
These comics are the creative equivalent of the Marx Brothers and W.C. Fields, and Popeye himself is like Marv from SIN CITY, Wolverine, and Chuck Norris all rolled up in one absurd-looking sailor.
And all I wanted was to scan some strips and put them up here, to show you just why POPEYE is so damn awesome. But the problem is, the daily strips weren't one-note gags but rather a serialized ongoing story, ala Dickens and Dostoevsky! Trying to scan whole stories would be a pain in the ass.
So what could I do? How could I possibly convey, in one single strip, the awesomeness of POPEYE?
You see, in the story, the vile villain Jack Snork has shot Popeye. Twenty times, more or less.
The thing is, this isn't the first time this has happened. In the very first story, when Popeye and Snork faced off, Snork shot Popeye about fifteen times, but the ol' sailor wouldn't go down under he beat the living shit out of the bad guy. Seriously, this shit rivals Wolverine in the Hellfire Club: "You had your shot, now it's MY turn!"
So when Snork shoots Popeye twenty times this time around, I was like, "Hm, yeah, I guess it's all right, but we already saw this. Is the story already retreading itself?"
No. No it was not.
So Popeye's been shot twenty times, and is dying. Not of blood loss (even though his shirtless body looks like, and I quote, "a miniature golf course"), but of lead poisoning. Sure, why the hell not. So Popeye goes out to the cliffside to contemplate over the sea, while the impatient Snork looks on. And then this happens:
Yes, for those who missed it: Popeye just punched a guy in the balls.
(Or possibly just the guts, as that's what "blow the belt" usually means. But look at the pain Snork's in: I think it's entirely reasonable to believe that he's not in wind-knocked-out-of-you pain there, but rather oh-my-god-he-slam-dunked-my-junk agony)
And not even straight-on, or a crouched uppercut or something. No, he went in what must be the most awkward and indirect way to punch someone in the junk, which somehow just makes it all the more awesome. Need I remind you, this is 1930!
Oh, and yeah, he survives his wounds. In fact, right away on his deathbed he starts eating steak and other solid foods. This is remarkable not because of the gunshot wounds, but because Popeye has no teeth. But that doesn't stop him from chewing.
And so far, there hasn't been a trace of fucking spinach. This Popeye doesn't need no goddamn spinach. He will beat the living shit out of anyone who stands in his way, and then go eat a steak even though he has no teeth. Maybe he'll even select the cow he wants, cut off what he wants, and ride the rest home! For he is Popeye, and does as he damn well pleases.
So, yes, go pick up POPEYE volumes 1 and 2, published by Fantagraphics and available at all finer booksellers.
So I was shocked to discover that the old POPEYE comics are fucking brilliant.
No, seriously. I had no idea. Like most people, when I think of Popeye, I think of the cartoons. Not a fan. The same damn plot over and over, Bluto, spinach, the whole deal. So when Fantagraphics put a giant hardcover collection of the original pre-cartoon E.C. Segar THIMBLE THEATER comic strips, my immediate reaction is, "no thanks." I mean, it's Popeye. And besides, it's... old. Ewww.
What a fool I was.
These comics are the creative equivalent of the Marx Brothers and W.C. Fields, and Popeye himself is like Marv from SIN CITY, Wolverine, and Chuck Norris all rolled up in one absurd-looking sailor.
And all I wanted was to scan some strips and put them up here, to show you just why POPEYE is so damn awesome. But the problem is, the daily strips weren't one-note gags but rather a serialized ongoing story, ala Dickens and Dostoevsky! Trying to scan whole stories would be a pain in the ass.
So what could I do? How could I possibly convey, in one single strip, the awesomeness of POPEYE?
You see, in the story, the vile villain Jack Snork has shot Popeye. Twenty times, more or less.
The thing is, this isn't the first time this has happened. In the very first story, when Popeye and Snork faced off, Snork shot Popeye about fifteen times, but the ol' sailor wouldn't go down under he beat the living shit out of the bad guy. Seriously, this shit rivals Wolverine in the Hellfire Club: "You had your shot, now it's MY turn!"
So when Snork shoots Popeye twenty times this time around, I was like, "Hm, yeah, I guess it's all right, but we already saw this. Is the story already retreading itself?"
No. No it was not.
So Popeye's been shot twenty times, and is dying. Not of blood loss (even though his shirtless body looks like, and I quote, "a miniature golf course"), but of lead poisoning. Sure, why the hell not. So Popeye goes out to the cliffside to contemplate over the sea, while the impatient Snork looks on. And then this happens:
Yes, for those who missed it: Popeye just punched a guy in the balls.
(Or possibly just the guts, as that's what "blow the belt" usually means. But look at the pain Snork's in: I think it's entirely reasonable to believe that he's not in wind-knocked-out-of-you pain there, but rather oh-my-god-he-slam-dunked-my-junk agony)
And not even straight-on, or a crouched uppercut or something. No, he went in what must be the most awkward and indirect way to punch someone in the junk, which somehow just makes it all the more awesome. Need I remind you, this is 1930!
Oh, and yeah, he survives his wounds. In fact, right away on his deathbed he starts eating steak and other solid foods. This is remarkable not because of the gunshot wounds, but because Popeye has no teeth. But that doesn't stop him from chewing.
And so far, there hasn't been a trace of fucking spinach. This Popeye doesn't need no goddamn spinach. He will beat the living shit out of anyone who stands in his way, and then go eat a steak even though he has no teeth. Maybe he'll even select the cow he wants, cut off what he wants, and ride the rest home! For he is Popeye, and does as he damn well pleases.
So, yes, go pick up POPEYE volumes 1 and 2, published by Fantagraphics and available at all finer booksellers.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 10:05 pm (UTC)Okay seriously that was a laugh I needed.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 10:06 pm (UTC)Hope that offers further well-needed laughs.