Weird Movie News
May. 20th, 2008 02:13 pmFirst: have you ever been scarred for life by seeing something as a child that really fucking disturbed or upset you, but in reality was just something silly or stupid, not really scary at all? Then check out this great essay, written by a guy who was scarred by an episode of "Too Close for Comfort." It's hilarious because it's so true.
For my part, I've never gotten over that episode of G.I. JOE where Shipwreck is brainwashed and starts dreaming of all his friends and family melting and merging together as a blob monster to drag him away as he screams in abject my-melted-friends-and-family-are-dragging-me-away confusion/terror. I have Bloo to thank for dredging that little memory back up. *shudder*
EDIT: Oh God, Steve Gerber wrote that episode? No wonder it was subversively fucked-up.
Secondly, here are two bits of the goddamn weirdest movie news I have heard in recent memory.
So I've never seen BAD LIEUTENANT, Abel Ferrara's infamous NC-17-rated Harvey Keitel nude sleazefest exploitation indie, but it's certainly preceded by its reputation. Well, apparently the sixteen-year-old film is already getting remade.
With Nicolas Cage. Of course, Hollywood, way to fuck everything up that you t--
Wait. It's also being directed... by Werner Herzog.
...
That... it...
No, wait, before you process that, have you heard about the film of NINE, the film adaptation of the Broadway musical adapted on Fellini's 8½, which originally starred the great Raul Julia? Yes, it seems they're making a film of NINE, and they originally had Ewan McGregor in the lead role. Well, he dropped out. So who did they get to replace him?
Javier Bardem.
Until he dropped out too. Holy fuck, you had Bardem to replace McGregor (who's hardly chopped liver, but come on), and you lost him. Well, shit, who can we possibly get now?
Daniel Day-Lewis.
...
How... it... if Daniel drops out as well, what're they gonna do next, summon Charlie Chaplin from the dead?!
Brain... melting... too much... bizarre and inexplicable... movie awesomeness...
For my part, I've never gotten over that episode of G.I. JOE where Shipwreck is brainwashed and starts dreaming of all his friends and family melting and merging together as a blob monster to drag him away as he screams in abject my-melted-friends-and-family-are-dragging-me-away confusion/terror. I have Bloo to thank for dredging that little memory back up. *shudder*
EDIT: Oh God, Steve Gerber wrote that episode? No wonder it was subversively fucked-up.
Secondly, here are two bits of the goddamn weirdest movie news I have heard in recent memory.
So I've never seen BAD LIEUTENANT, Abel Ferrara's infamous NC-17-rated Harvey Keitel nude sleazefest exploitation indie, but it's certainly preceded by its reputation. Well, apparently the sixteen-year-old film is already getting remade.
With Nicolas Cage. Of course, Hollywood, way to fuck everything up that you t--
Wait. It's also being directed... by Werner Herzog.
...
That... it...
No, wait, before you process that, have you heard about the film of NINE, the film adaptation of the Broadway musical adapted on Fellini's 8½, which originally starred the great Raul Julia? Yes, it seems they're making a film of NINE, and they originally had Ewan McGregor in the lead role. Well, he dropped out. So who did they get to replace him?
Javier Bardem.
Until he dropped out too. Holy fuck, you had Bardem to replace McGregor (who's hardly chopped liver, but come on), and you lost him. Well, shit, who can we possibly get now?
Daniel Day-Lewis.
...
How... it... if Daniel drops out as well, what're they gonna do next, summon Charlie Chaplin from the dead?!
Brain... melting... too much... bizarre and inexplicable... movie awesomeness...