If you don't name your poison, I'll have to get the boys in

[thehefner]

I...

... have just discovered one of the greatest things ever.

By which I mean, not greatest for everybody (although I'd hope everybody with a soul in their heart can appreciate such things), but I'm talking about something that just might beat GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE on levels of sheer "they must have found an alternate universe version of John Hefner, given him a camera, a budget, some cocaine, and a time machine, and set him loose" factor. Because only in my wildest dreams could I--and only I--have fashioned something like THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN INVINCIBLE.

Who has seen this movie? I haven't, but after seeing this, I know I must. Look, just... just watch this for yourself.

Alan Arkin as an alcoholic superhero. Christopher Lee as the supervillain. And music by Richard O'Brien.

I am in Heaven. I am one step closer to being ready to die.

Comments

Oh My GODS!!!

[spirit-o-fire.livejournal.com]

That is supermegafreakinawesome!!!

Yowsa.

Also... You changed your LJ Name. I like it.

Re: Oh My GODS!!!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Someone on scans_daily said that now all he can do is imagine this being between Tony Stark and Justin Hammer. I love it even more.

But wait, I've just seen this:



This movie may be crap, but these two songs have rendered it a must-see.

Thankya! I do miss cats_n_crying, in that way that I'm nostalgic for things whose time has passed, but it was time for this change.

Re: Oh My GODS!!!

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

I'm so going to end up buying this.

Over on Amazon it's in a three back with two other delightfully awful movies: Howling III and Communion. (Howling III was supposed to be awful... Communion was just poorly made.)

I smell a movie night in the making. :)

Re: Oh My GODS!!!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I dunno, man. I'm not sure I wanna buy a HOWLING movie without the hot chick from the first one. Yowza.

If this is a movie night, it will require copious amounts of beer and head injuries. Not that I'm not game...

[disc-sophist.livejournal.com]

I take your recommendations seriously, my dear. Especially in the form of an excited voicemail directive.

Movie is DL'd & burning. I'll watch it tomorrow. :) Need a copy?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You wanna hold off till tomorrow evening when I get outta work and we can watch it together? Otherwise, I was just gonna netflix the hell out of this.

[rosered2318.livejournal.com]

Oh my lord this is fantastic. Where/How did you find it?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Someone posted a shorter clip of it on scans_daily, and I needed to track down a better version myself. I am now in utter love with this. Check out the lyrics too, and see how many drink references you can find:

Mai Tai say that I'm Old Fashioned,
Tres Vin Ordinaire
That I want a fresh Manhattan
With white anglo-saxons everywhere?
A Black Russian's no Pink Lady
Give her a Singapore Sling.
And Moscow Mule is not your baby
So Highball the Vodka, and name your sting
Be a big shot, with a Bullshot
Be a schwein mit der Wein
Have a short, or a port, or a snort, of any sort.
Asti Spumante . Uno Chianti.

Are divine!

I got some economic Hocks,
A Gin and Tonic on the rocks.
Where Angels fear to tread, I say-
Choose your booze! Let's hit the red-eye!
Think of young Deanna Durbin,
And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon.
Or enhance your luncheon hour
With a Planter's Punch,
And a Whiskey Sour
If you feel like a wreck,
Try a Horse's Neck
Or a Sherry with a cherry in the new fun size-

If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
The spirit of adventure opens ones eyes
If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise

Live happily ever after
With a Chablis and some laughter.
Between the Sheets is lovely
With a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly
There's nothing sicker in society
Than a lack of liquor and sobriety
So! Down the hatch. Here's mud in your eye!
Take a bracer with a chaser, wash it down with rye!
Bottoms up, stirrup cup!
It'll put you in the pink.

And all you have to do is DRINK DRINK! DRINK DRINK! DRIIIIIIIIIINK! DRINK DRINK! DRINK DRINK! DRIIIIIIIIIINK! DRIIIIIIIIIINK! DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

That song was the best gag in the movie.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Don't you hate that feeling that you've already seen the best part of the film?

[scarydavedc.livejournal.com]

Are you sure Ritz O'Brien had a hand in this? I double checked IMDB and didn't see any credits to him on the films page or visa versa.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's weird, I don't see 'em there either. But here:

http://www.robcrusade.com/movies/ci/index.htm

http://www.robcrusade.com/music/lyrics/lyrpoison.htm

[rosered2318.livejournal.com]

But it just sounds like him...you know?

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Amazing - I want to see it (no matter how bad it might turn out to be). What a marvellous couple they make.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

According to wikipedia, it's one of Terry Pratchett's favorite movies. At this rate, it can only be a disappointment, but it's still a must-see.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize you hadn't seen Captain Invincible. I saw it back in high school. I was tickled that it was on DVD, and it's been on my Netflix queue for months, but every time it bubbles to the top I push it back down. I'm terrified of seeing it again; it was funny but I don't think it will wear well.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

...

I think my brain just exploded. More out of WTF than anything, though. But this looks like a very weird and interesting movie. I might actually check this thing out. And damn, it really sounds like Richard O'Brien. Like woah.