mid-way FRIGID report

[thehefner]

Sorry for not responding to the overwhelming amount of wonderful and touching birthday wishes from everyone. I've had my attention wrapped up in other things over the past couple of days. Rest assured, I'll get on it tomorrow afternoon. It shall provide a good distraction before I brave my next performance, to see whoever shows up.

My birthday performance was, of course, the worst of my run. Oh, I think it still went well to the audience, but it was definitely my roughest. Not just because there was only, like, seven of them, but because they were all performers. This means two things--

1.) none of them paid to get in, which means I earned $0 that performance

And 2.) none of them laughed, because performers don't laugh. They analyze, they critique, they internalize, but by and large, they do not laugh. Not even a titter at my "God I HATE Canada!" line, which I daresay is one of my very best one-liners!

But then, when I signed up for FRIGID, I did so under the same impression as many others: that I was going to lose money and play to small houses, but that I'd get reviewed by the New York Press. And so, as we've seen recently from my one good review, one could say my objective was already achieved.

But just for the sake of things, here are two more good reviews. The first one is especially great, clearly understanding the material and offering really helpful constructive criticism that I will take to heart in my subsequent revisions. It also features one of the best ways I've ever heard my storytelling style described:

Hefner is an explosive performer and his stories are very well written. His style is like an amusement ride gone out of control. He chugs along slowly and sweetly, pulling us into his world, and then the ride drops off the end of a cliff and he screams and flails his arms.

Sounds astute to me!

That's right up there with badmagic's wonderful pep-talk/review of HOW HEFNERIAN:

And yes, believe in yourself. You've got a great show. I think so, and I hate everything. I only came to DCAC that night because you were being a brave little toaster. If your going to tear your heart out on stage, the least I can do is watch. And then you were actually GOOD! It was like throwing someone a pity fuck and then finding out that she was in Ass Babes 17. There was a level of talent and expertise that impressed.

Really, I should put those kinds of quotes on plaques, to pick me up whenever I'm feeling down.

So yeah, things are going all right. Now if I could just kick this damn sore throat in the ass, we'll be solid. But hell, I've performed this show with the flu before, I can handle it either way.

Comments

[lairdofdarkness.livejournal.com]

Both those quotes should be on your next poster
they rule sir

and they make me sad I dont live in the states (where I am led to beleive that because I am a Scotsman you would revere me as some kind of god!!)

Hope the throat gets better soon

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna need to see if I can somehow squeeze the first one somewhere.

Many of us have a weird fascination for accents, particularly those from the Isles. So I dunno, you just might!

Even if not, adrenaline is a hell of a thing. It'll get me through, even if I feel worse the next morning!

[princessebee.livejournal.com]

It was like throwing someone a pity fuck and then finding out that she was in Ass Babes 17.

Mmmm, yes, it's only a compliment if it has a strong undertone of utter misogyny!

On other topics, I'm glad the show is going well and you're having excellent experiences.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aw nuts. Why must you be the screen door on my submarine? Fine, no plaque for that one.

And thankya. Maybe next year might be my year to go international (well, I already am this year, but I mean outside Canada)! To Edinburgh and Sydney, for example!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on all the good reviews!

I like that review description. It's spot-on. Haha.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I like that he even noticed the arms-flailing bit. By which I mean, he analyzed my performance, and of all the attributes he could have remarked upon, he noticed that as a particular "John Hefner" bit. Clearly, he gets it.

[kagome654.livejournal.com]

I suppose a 'Happy Belated Birthday' is in order!

Congrats on the good reviews.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Thankya! On both counts!

[karmaflouge.livejournal.com]

Yay Heffie! I SO wanted to make it up there! Ah well, such is the budget these days.

By the by, I responded to your response to my query about Watchmen in my last post. Brain percolation, I has it.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Would have been great to have you, as audiences have been very small, but it's still a success either way. Heh, maybe you can make it to Montreal or Winnipeg? ;p

Yeah, I saw, and I didn't have anything to add. It's just something I'll be needing to think about when I revisit the book and see the movie.

[karmaflouge.livejournal.com]

:) glad to throw a wrench into your brain process regarding Watchmen. I feel strangely accomplished. Heehee.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Wait... it was your birthday? Fuck! I missed it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY I OWE YOU SOME BOOBS!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes you do! If fact, you're TWO days late! That mere icon just ain't gonna do it. Nuh-uh. You'll have to think of some better way to step it up when I get back next week.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Oh darn. Asking me to be creative with the boobage. How will I ever survive.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Sorry, babe. Them's the rules, you've got no choice. Get crackin', and I'll expect a full report in person next week.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Yes sir!

[darkestnova.livejournal.com]

*pet pet*

Was going to send you birthday greetings, but I had the flu myself. But if I could have dragged myself out of bed at any point last week, I would have wanted to tell you what we always say in my family.

"I sneezed on this card."