thehefner: (Iron Man: Life is Empty w/o GIN)
[personal profile] thehefner
Figures. I'm out of the key ingredients to my two favorite cocktails of the moment, both of which I've created myself (to the best of my knowledge). And now that I've discovered that the best way to chill a cocktail glass is with liquid nitrogen, I now have something else for the ol' liquor cabinet wish list.

I can only imagine what liquid nitrogen would do for my choice martini recipe. Really, it would add to perfect garnish of sci-fi to what can only be called


The Johnny Go Martini starts with this, which I discovered thanks to the great [livejournal.com profile] tommx:





Then with a splash of this (the only vermouth I've ever known that one can actually enjoy straight):





And a dash of this (what used to be a key ingredient in martinis back in the day, now all but forgotten):





I usually do shaken (in waltz time, as recommended by the great Nick Charles) over stirred, which I'm told is the appropriate method. And then I top it off with the essential garnish:






This creates the most lovely, clean-tasting, downright delicious Martinis I've ever had. What's really amazing is to drink any other kind of gin before trying Hendrick's, just to taste the difference. Bombay Sapphire used to be my gin of choice, but it tastes like window-cleaner compared to Hendrick's. Furthermore, it's the only drink I've ever known to actually not hinder me in writing (look at me, I'm Dorothy Parker!).

I know whiskey is the drink of choice, but more often than not, it's a monkeywrench in the creative works. Weirdly, beer is worst of all for this. I can't even have a single can of Natty Boh and hope to get any work done. Most drinks are reserved for kicking back and watching films or being social or trying to unwind after a rewarding/frustrating day of writing.


For that, I turn to my current very favorite drink,


Since the Old Fashioned is half about the preparation itself, I'll start with the ingredients themselves:





Bourbon is the essential whiskey for Old Fashioned. I've heard Knob Creek is better, but it's been too expensive for me to try. Maker's Mark is a bit too sweet for some tastes, but it's done well for me.





Classic Old-Fashioned call for granulated sugar or a sugar cube with a splash of club soda, but I prefer to cut out the middleman with some of the simple syrup I have on hand.

Next, comes a one-two-three punch of bitters, on a scale of easiest to hardest to find in stores:





The classic. Normally, Old Fashioned use only Angostura bitters, but after experimenting with the next two, I find that these three are now inseparable.





A couple dashes of this in Blue Moon is even better than using an orange slice.





This stuff is fucking miraculous. These bitters, aged in whiskey barrels used for Jack Daniels, are my secret ingredient to instantly making even the most disastrous cocktails more palatable. They're expensive at $15 a pop, and I could only find them online, but they've been worth every penny. They're so wonderful, I've even used them as cologne (it's Henchgirl-approved!).

And finally:





I find it strange how some people don't like maraschino cherries. I've always loved them. There used to be this Mexican restaurant that Dad and I would go to at Montgomery Mall (now Westfield Shopping Center). The waiters knew us, and would always give me tons of cherries! So nice. I've tried making coctails with gourmet-made maraschino cherries (marketed in upscale shops), but I always just find them soggy and gross. Maraschino cherries are one of the rare times I want something cheap and soaked in high fructose corn syrup.



So those are the ingredients. On the off chance that you'll actually want to seek out these ingredients, here's how you make a Hefner Old-Fashioned:

Rim the bottom of a cooled (not chilled) tumbler with one or two dashes of the Angostura orange bitters until dry. Then add a splash (1/4 shot) of the simple syrup, one dash of the Angostura bitters, and two dashes of the Fee Brothers' whiskey barrel-aged bitters. Stir (with a cocktail spoon if you have one).

Next, add ice (I use three cubes at a time) and a shot of bourbon. Stir.

Then, more ice and another shot of bourbon. Stir.

Top off with more ice and a maraschino cherry. Enjoy while stirring the drink throughout to keep the liquor blended with the melting ice.


This is the finest drink I know how to make, and one of the few that appeals to pretty much every palate, from those who prefer girly drinks to guys like me and [livejournal.com profile] fiveseconddelay who prefer drier stuff. It's marvelously complex, filled with wonderful nuances, and is just plain delicious to enjoy.

And of course, I finally put together this dedication to my two current favorite drinks just as I've run out of both whiskey and Hendrick's right before being stuck in the middle of a fucking snowstorm. There is not enough "LE SIGH" in the world.

Date: 2010-01-30 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emma-elicit.livejournal.com
Looks like you're going to need to have another party at your house. I'll try not to drink so much this time. ;)

Also - I just realized that while I list you as a friend, we aren't mutual friends, and this makes me very sad. :'(

Date: 2010-01-30 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
It'll probably have to wait till the Fall, for the second annual "Oh Crap Heffie's Back!" party. How to top the grog? Maybe home-made absinthe...

Well shit, I never did that? Consider that rectified! :)

Date: 2010-02-02 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com
The email saying "FRIEND THIS PERSON" was not sufficient.
Good ole Heffy.

Date: 2010-02-02 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Didn't happen. I never set up my LJ to actually receive e-mail alerts. I dunno why. I prefer to just sorta stumble upon such discoveries on my own!

Date: 2010-01-30 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rattsu.livejournal.com
Oooh delicious!

I am very hesitant of gins normally, but I have to say that sounds interesting. It reminds me of my friend zia-narratora's bartending posts and comics, so many delicious things I have never even considered.

Date: 2010-01-31 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Hendrick's capitalizes on the fact that it's "a most unusual gin," since it's made with offbeat ingredients like cucumber and rose petals. It further touts itself as being "not for everyone," which is a very clever way to lure in wannabe-snobs like myself, but thankfully it delivered all the way. I was all like, "Cucumber? Really? Weird." But wow, it just makes the whole thing so clean and crisp. A perfect summer drink.

Oh my god, I've never seen that LJ before. I was about to write, "I think I'm in love," but I don't want to get killed by Henchgirl. But I'm definitely in like with this zia-narratora person. Insta-friended!

Aha, she favors shaking for crisper gins! So I'm right to do that with the Hendrick's, as it's cucumber-crisp!

Date: 2010-01-31 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] little-dinosaur.livejournal.com
I like gin. I wonder if I can get Hendrick's here?

Date: 2010-01-31 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
I bet you can. It seems to be standard at most liquor stores here around the country. But if not, it's Scottish, so...

Date: 2010-01-31 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hybridhelen.livejournal.com
mmmMMMmmm, Hendrick's! I love Hendrick's, and I love the pretentiousness of getting cucumber in my G&T in bars and seeing other (non-gin-drinker) people look puzzled.

I was at a cocktail making master class for part of a friend's hen do yesterday, and the bartender and I got to messing around and we created this thing that had Plymouth gin (2 shots), limoncello (5 ml), vermouth (8ml) peach Angostura bitters (1 dash), and a couple of ripped up sage leaves, stirred with solid ice cubes, strained and served in a martini glass, and it was good-oh!

Date: 2010-01-31 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
I LOL'd at "created this thing," I know exactly what you mean. If my "things" over the years had consisted of more alchemical miracles and less sins-against-mankind, I'd probably still be way into my mixologist phase. As it is, it's just too labor intensive and, more importantly, freakin' expensive! How I wish there was a booze library for me to sample!

Date: 2010-02-10 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hybridhelen.livejournal.com
Oh, sin-against-mankind-and-alcohol things are just evil - and because I am tight (lived in Scotland for too long?), the prospective waste of money and alcohol is enough to make me consume said sin. No matter how foul tasting. And regret it later.
Worst idea ever? Not my concoction, but this New Year's Eve I was made to drink red bull + champagne. WHY?
A booze library would AMAZING.

Date: 2010-01-31 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tommx.livejournal.com
I'm off martinis for a while, until my throat heals, (and I'm sure that my thyroid hormone dose is what it should be) but once I'm squared up, we shall have to meet up for martinis. I like your Johnny-Go Martini recipe and definitely want to try it.

Liquid Nitrogen is harder to come by than dry ice. I've considered trying it to chill the gin and vermouth, but I worry that it would either splash up too much or make the shaker too cold. A very small amount would probably be effective.

Date: 2010-01-31 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Hell yeah! It'll probably have to wait till I'm back from Fresno, which will be the end of March.

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