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thehefnerWe haven't had convenient internet since we left Hamilton for Kansas City, so while this is a week and a day late, let me give you a little visualization of our reaction to leaving Hamilton.
This? This was Hamilton:
And this was Henchgirl:
"GO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *incoherent terror mingled with maniacal laughter*
As I was typing this, she overheard me checking out a video clip of that ending, and said, "Oh god, you're finally writing it!" (listens) "Hey, now, I wasn't that bad."
"Ohhhh, yes you were."
"No, I wasn't. I really wasn't."
"Okay, fine. So, you wanna go back to Hamilton?"
"NO!!!!"
"Hee hee hee!"
"... You fucker, you said that just so you could have something for the transcription, didn't you?"
"Yup."
"You'd better write that one down too."
Of course, the town that tried to crush us on all Fringe Festivals had one last meathook to hang us upon, and that was it kept us from arriving in time for our next gig, the Kansas City Fringe Festival. The KC people were appraised of this months ago, so it was cool, they made certain I wouldn't have to do any shows until I arrived, and indeed, we got there in time. With the KC Festival already half-over.
So we weren't all that surprised when our first show opened and no one showed up. First time that's happened to me in three years, but eh, not surprising. The festival's well underway, and we have no buzz, we hadn't been promoting, and our venue was ass-hot. Hell, we still weren't surprised when we had just four people the next performance.
But you know what? Those four people were better than all the audience members we had over our six performances in Hamilton combined.
God, between this and Indianapolis Fringe last year, I'm really starting to love Midwestern audiences. Maybe in a couple years, I'll come up with a show more attuned to Canadian sensibilities (the kind of show where their reserved and/or polite silences won't crush our souls throughout the show), but for right now, with THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES, we've learned our lesson. We're touring the fuck outta the Midwest Fringes with this show.
I really wanna brave the insanity that was Winnipeg Fringe, though. That's the only Canadian Fringe I seriously wanna rock, someday. I'm hungry to make it in Winnipeg. I would have done it last year, too, if I hadn't gotten a mediocre review by a Winnipeg reviewer who already saw me perform in Montreal to dead-silent and snobbish audiences (with a few notable exceptions, namely you awesome Montreal peeps right here, who actually get my humor).
Yeah, Montreal was the festival where the main theatre critic essentially called my show the Worst In The Fringe. I don't feel like I'm quite at a point in my career where I can look back on that and hold it up as a badge of honor.
But when one of my audience members at KC Fringe--a rather important and influential figure in the festival, I think--was telling a bunch of people that he'd seen about thirty shows and mine was the best of them all... not to mention getting my first-ever five-star review and having a reviewer call my show, "one of the funniest shows I've ever seen,"...
Yeah. That helps. :)
Well, it helps my ego, anyway. It didn't help our sales. Alas, the damage was already done with us being so late. But hopefully that's enough built-in buzz for next year, because we definitely wanna bring it back to KC and do it right this time. Until then, we put THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES back in its box for a well-deserved rest. Well, unless we get into the Chicago Fringe Festival at the start of September. Still #4 on the waiting list!
But while we dearly want to do nothing more than get wasted, watch movies, and read comics, we're not of the woods just yet. Not only do we still have to get back to DC, but we have two weeks to prepare the new show, THE ROAD TO NOWHERE, for Indy Fringe.
Frankly, I've never been this nervous. It's going to be a clusterfuck, and a goddamn miracle if the shows at Indy will be as good as we'd like them to be, first time out. If I'd have known from the start, I would have skipped Hamilton and KC altogether, and devoted all that time to ROAD, which is exactly where it needed to be.
But this situation is what it is. Over the next couple weeks, we shall be entering nervous-breakdown-mode as we scramble to cobble this Frankenstein's monster together and bring it to life in time for Indy Fringe. It'll be hell, but we'll pull it off. Not just because we want this new show to be great. But because if we don't... then Hamilton wins.
To which Henchgirl says, "If that's the motivation you need, honey."
... Keep driving. I hear chainsaws.
This? This was Hamilton:
And this was Henchgirl:
"GO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *incoherent terror mingled with maniacal laughter*
As I was typing this, she overheard me checking out a video clip of that ending, and said, "Oh god, you're finally writing it!" (listens) "Hey, now, I wasn't that bad."
"Ohhhh, yes you were."
"No, I wasn't. I really wasn't."
"Okay, fine. So, you wanna go back to Hamilton?"
"NO!!!!"
"Hee hee hee!"
"... You fucker, you said that just so you could have something for the transcription, didn't you?"
"Yup."
"You'd better write that one down too."
Of course, the town that tried to crush us on all Fringe Festivals had one last meathook to hang us upon, and that was it kept us from arriving in time for our next gig, the Kansas City Fringe Festival. The KC people were appraised of this months ago, so it was cool, they made certain I wouldn't have to do any shows until I arrived, and indeed, we got there in time. With the KC Festival already half-over.
So we weren't all that surprised when our first show opened and no one showed up. First time that's happened to me in three years, but eh, not surprising. The festival's well underway, and we have no buzz, we hadn't been promoting, and our venue was ass-hot. Hell, we still weren't surprised when we had just four people the next performance.
But you know what? Those four people were better than all the audience members we had over our six performances in Hamilton combined.
God, between this and Indianapolis Fringe last year, I'm really starting to love Midwestern audiences. Maybe in a couple years, I'll come up with a show more attuned to Canadian sensibilities (the kind of show where their reserved and/or polite silences won't crush our souls throughout the show), but for right now, with THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES, we've learned our lesson. We're touring the fuck outta the Midwest Fringes with this show.
I really wanna brave the insanity that was Winnipeg Fringe, though. That's the only Canadian Fringe I seriously wanna rock, someday. I'm hungry to make it in Winnipeg. I would have done it last year, too, if I hadn't gotten a mediocre review by a Winnipeg reviewer who already saw me perform in Montreal to dead-silent and snobbish audiences (with a few notable exceptions, namely you awesome Montreal peeps right here, who actually get my humor).
Yeah, Montreal was the festival where the main theatre critic essentially called my show the Worst In The Fringe. I don't feel like I'm quite at a point in my career where I can look back on that and hold it up as a badge of honor.
But when one of my audience members at KC Fringe--a rather important and influential figure in the festival, I think--was telling a bunch of people that he'd seen about thirty shows and mine was the best of them all... not to mention getting my first-ever five-star review and having a reviewer call my show, "one of the funniest shows I've ever seen,"...
Yeah. That helps. :)
Well, it helps my ego, anyway. It didn't help our sales. Alas, the damage was already done with us being so late. But hopefully that's enough built-in buzz for next year, because we definitely wanna bring it back to KC and do it right this time. Until then, we put THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES back in its box for a well-deserved rest. Well, unless we get into the Chicago Fringe Festival at the start of September. Still #4 on the waiting list!
But while we dearly want to do nothing more than get wasted, watch movies, and read comics, we're not of the woods just yet. Not only do we still have to get back to DC, but we have two weeks to prepare the new show, THE ROAD TO NOWHERE, for Indy Fringe.
Frankly, I've never been this nervous. It's going to be a clusterfuck, and a goddamn miracle if the shows at Indy will be as good as we'd like them to be, first time out. If I'd have known from the start, I would have skipped Hamilton and KC altogether, and devoted all that time to ROAD, which is exactly where it needed to be.
But this situation is what it is. Over the next couple weeks, we shall be entering nervous-breakdown-mode as we scramble to cobble this Frankenstein's monster together and bring it to life in time for Indy Fringe. It'll be hell, but we'll pull it off. Not just because we want this new show to be great. But because if we don't... then Hamilton wins.
To which Henchgirl says, "If that's the motivation you need, honey."
... Keep driving. I hear chainsaws.
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no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 06:47 am (UTC)And here's some Doctor Who meta while I'm at it.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 11:25 pm (UTC)Very cool review! Good luck with your war against Hamilton!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 03:54 am (UTC)If you do return to the KC Fringe, I'll be sure to attend. I wasn't able to this time, but that was due to extenuating circumstances.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 06:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-04 02:39 pm (UTC)One of my best audiences ever was 7 people -- only one of them paid, the rest staff/volunteers.
I'm sad I am not seeing you and Henchgirl at any common Fringes this summer!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 06:40 am (UTC)I liked Winnipeg enough to go back and do it better, but I'm gonna have a damn hard time convincing Henchgirl that it'll be worth it. Now that I read this comment, I'm starting to worry about that myself. I really don't want zombie audiences anymore either!
At least you broke even, that's something. But you're exactly right, it's damn demoralizing. I feel like we're the only ones who really feel this way. Do they just not understand what they do to us up there?
We're sad too!!! :(
I am Techies swift, avenging right hand
Date: 2010-08-04 04:49 pm (UTC)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_y9KsP0Whrwg/TAtT0qa6J7I/AAAAAAAAAEg/RNmvlVc4W3s/s400/Freddy+Krueger.jpg
Will be me
and this:
http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID11229/images/8_-_Nightmare_on_elm_street.jpg
Will be Canada.
Re: I am Techies swift, avenging right hand
Date: 2010-08-05 06:48 am (UTC)Re: I am Techies swift, avenging right hand
Date: 2010-08-05 07:40 am (UTC)Re: I am Techies swift, avenging right hand
Date: 2010-08-05 06:31 pm (UTC)