LIST: BEST... MOVIE FIGHT SCENES... EVER!
Jul. 11th, 2004 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerAfter seeing the train sequence in Spider-Man 2, the comic geek inside me immediately wanted to shout “BEST… FIGHT… EVER!” But then, geek that I am, I have since deliberated on this proclamation. What other great movie fights have there been? I don’t mean battles or stuff like Wolverine mowing down all the soldiers in X2, undeniably badass as that was. No, I mean one-on-one brawls, two men, using only their fists and handheld weapons, beating the living crap out of each other. So just because I thought it would be fun, and because it would be a perfect excuse to bust out my new icon here by Steve Ditko from Amazing Spider-Man #3, I decided to make a list!
Freddy vs. Jason- Robert Englund and Ken Keir… Kerz… aw hell, it should be have been Kane Hodder, damn it!
Sure, most of the movie was crap, a great premise wasted on a bunch of WB-rejects. But 3/4s into the film, we get the promised confrontation between the two slasher titans, and holy shit, it makes the whole film worthwhile. Even though they are masters in their respective realms (Jason in the real world, Freddy in the dream world), both put up a vicious fight, neither one giving an inch, and when one finally fell, it was only after exhausting every last little scrap of that evil energy that fueled them. Astounding.
They Live- “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and David Keith
South Park paid the ultimate compliment to this fight sequence when they copied it blow-by-blow for the “Cripple Fight” episode, a joke that only flaming geeks like myself caught. WWF Wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper and B-Movie staple Keith David (voice of Goliath on Gargoyles, the skeezy black dude in Requiem for a Dream) in an alleyway. Beating the crap out of each other. For seven minutes, no soundtrack. And what are they fighting over? “Put… the fucking sunglasses… ON!” Why do I just get the feeling that they just kept going and going, and director John Carpenter just let them, just to see how far they’d go? I showed this to a friend of mine who loves and practices martial arts, and he said, “Oh my God, there is absolutely no technique to any of their moves! They’re hurting themselves as much as each other!” A work of over-the-top ridiculous brilliance.
Ravenous- Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle
So apparently when you eat the flesh of another man, you not only gain their strength, you also are given inhuman endurance. This is good to keep in mind when watching Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle hit each other with every single blunt and pointy weapon that can be located in am 1841 woodshed, going from stabbing each other repeatedly to slicing their arms to bludgeoning with logs, all the way to the final, “sneaky,” homoerotic dénouement. A perfect ending for a film that always came close to but never really became campy because it never winked once. A personal favorite of mine.
The Mark of Zorro- Tyrone Power and Basil Rathbone
Tyrone Power, the man who made Zorro his, and Basil Rathbone, not only a brilliant actor and villain but an expert fencer in real life. I loved Antonio’s version, because hell, who else could play Zorro, but it lacked the timeless quality of the classic, and the lasting power and influence of this fight is a testament to the film’s timelessness. As an added bonus to comic geeks, there’s a certain poignancy in knowing that this is the last film little Brucie Wayne watched with his parents. Perhaps the single greatest swashbuckler battle ever captured on celluloid, and I dare you to defy me.
Princess Bride- Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin
Ok, maybe this is up there too, now that I think about it. The only reason I don’t count it is because it was so clearly influenced by the fights of both Zorro and Robin Hood (another Rathbone fight, with Errol Flynn, a close runner-up to Zorro), but that doesn’t make it any less fun, ass-kicking, and satisfying. But I think going on about this fight, more than any other on this list, would be preaching to the choir, so I shall continue.
Aliens- Sigourney Weaver and the Alien Queen (H.R. Giger/Stan Winston)
Come on, is there anyone here who doesn’t feel the urge to cheer at the line, “Get away from her, you BITCH!”
Kill Bill 2- Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah
If you had told me a year ago that perhaps the greatest catfight (although I hesitate to use the word- catfights are generally supposed to be arousing, aren’t they? This just hurt) in cinema history would be between Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah… well, you probably would have thought what I would have thought. But this… this was brutal. The final confrontation between the bitterest of enemies, I day say even more hated to Uma than Bill himself, in Michael Madsen’s rickety trailer. They use everything in that trailer as a weapon- TV antennas, spittoons, toilets, and in the process tear it apart from the inside out before they even finally clash swords. And when they do, it ends in a most powerful, surprising, ass-kicking way. The finale is equally cheer-inducing and stomach-wrenching every time.
The Empire Strikes Back/Return of the Jedi- Mark Hamill vs. David Prowse
I can only imagine what it must have been like to see the Hero and Villain, so quintessential in their roles that they require capitalization, finally meeting face to face, lightsabers in hand, which would shockingly prove to be a temporary situation only. Crashing through the glass, over the air ducts of Cloud City, the slice, and the revelation. “NOOOO!!!! ES IMPOSSIBLEEEEEE!!!” My God, what it must have been like to see that. But me, growing up I was always a child of “Return of the Jedi.” Blasphemy, I know, but everything involving Endor aside, everything in Jabba’s Palace and in the Death Star gets me so wet right now just at the thought that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru could make a fortune off of my boxers right now. And just as much as Empire, seeing father and son, both equal, both masters, both tempted to each other’s sides until it seems that there is no light nor dark side, only a gray as pale as Palpatine’s putrid flesh, was as epic as any of the myths that inspired Lucas in this last great film of his.
If you can think of any fights I’ve missed, by all means chime in! Next time I may do a list of favorite movie moments of all time, just because I’m a geek and I can do things like that. Mwa-ha-ha.
Freddy vs. Jason- Robert Englund and Ken Keir… Kerz… aw hell, it should be have been Kane Hodder, damn it!
Sure, most of the movie was crap, a great premise wasted on a bunch of WB-rejects. But 3/4s into the film, we get the promised confrontation between the two slasher titans, and holy shit, it makes the whole film worthwhile. Even though they are masters in their respective realms (Jason in the real world, Freddy in the dream world), both put up a vicious fight, neither one giving an inch, and when one finally fell, it was only after exhausting every last little scrap of that evil energy that fueled them. Astounding.
They Live- “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and David Keith
South Park paid the ultimate compliment to this fight sequence when they copied it blow-by-blow for the “Cripple Fight” episode, a joke that only flaming geeks like myself caught. WWF Wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper and B-Movie staple Keith David (voice of Goliath on Gargoyles, the skeezy black dude in Requiem for a Dream) in an alleyway. Beating the crap out of each other. For seven minutes, no soundtrack. And what are they fighting over? “Put… the fucking sunglasses… ON!” Why do I just get the feeling that they just kept going and going, and director John Carpenter just let them, just to see how far they’d go? I showed this to a friend of mine who loves and practices martial arts, and he said, “Oh my God, there is absolutely no technique to any of their moves! They’re hurting themselves as much as each other!” A work of over-the-top ridiculous brilliance.
Ravenous- Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle
So apparently when you eat the flesh of another man, you not only gain their strength, you also are given inhuman endurance. This is good to keep in mind when watching Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle hit each other with every single blunt and pointy weapon that can be located in am 1841 woodshed, going from stabbing each other repeatedly to slicing their arms to bludgeoning with logs, all the way to the final, “sneaky,” homoerotic dénouement. A perfect ending for a film that always came close to but never really became campy because it never winked once. A personal favorite of mine.
The Mark of Zorro- Tyrone Power and Basil Rathbone
Tyrone Power, the man who made Zorro his, and Basil Rathbone, not only a brilliant actor and villain but an expert fencer in real life. I loved Antonio’s version, because hell, who else could play Zorro, but it lacked the timeless quality of the classic, and the lasting power and influence of this fight is a testament to the film’s timelessness. As an added bonus to comic geeks, there’s a certain poignancy in knowing that this is the last film little Brucie Wayne watched with his parents. Perhaps the single greatest swashbuckler battle ever captured on celluloid, and I dare you to defy me.
Princess Bride- Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin
Ok, maybe this is up there too, now that I think about it. The only reason I don’t count it is because it was so clearly influenced by the fights of both Zorro and Robin Hood (another Rathbone fight, with Errol Flynn, a close runner-up to Zorro), but that doesn’t make it any less fun, ass-kicking, and satisfying. But I think going on about this fight, more than any other on this list, would be preaching to the choir, so I shall continue.
Aliens- Sigourney Weaver and the Alien Queen (H.R. Giger/Stan Winston)
Come on, is there anyone here who doesn’t feel the urge to cheer at the line, “Get away from her, you BITCH!”
Kill Bill 2- Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah
If you had told me a year ago that perhaps the greatest catfight (although I hesitate to use the word- catfights are generally supposed to be arousing, aren’t they? This just hurt) in cinema history would be between Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah… well, you probably would have thought what I would have thought. But this… this was brutal. The final confrontation between the bitterest of enemies, I day say even more hated to Uma than Bill himself, in Michael Madsen’s rickety trailer. They use everything in that trailer as a weapon- TV antennas, spittoons, toilets, and in the process tear it apart from the inside out before they even finally clash swords. And when they do, it ends in a most powerful, surprising, ass-kicking way. The finale is equally cheer-inducing and stomach-wrenching every time.
The Empire Strikes Back/Return of the Jedi- Mark Hamill vs. David Prowse
I can only imagine what it must have been like to see the Hero and Villain, so quintessential in their roles that they require capitalization, finally meeting face to face, lightsabers in hand, which would shockingly prove to be a temporary situation only. Crashing through the glass, over the air ducts of Cloud City, the slice, and the revelation. “NOOOO!!!! ES IMPOSSIBLEEEEEE!!!” My God, what it must have been like to see that. But me, growing up I was always a child of “Return of the Jedi.” Blasphemy, I know, but everything involving Endor aside, everything in Jabba’s Palace and in the Death Star gets me so wet right now just at the thought that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru could make a fortune off of my boxers right now. And just as much as Empire, seeing father and son, both equal, both masters, both tempted to each other’s sides until it seems that there is no light nor dark side, only a gray as pale as Palpatine’s putrid flesh, was as epic as any of the myths that inspired Lucas in this last great film of his.
If you can think of any fights I’ve missed, by all means chime in! Next time I may do a list of favorite movie moments of all time, just because I’m a geek and I can do things like that. Mwa-ha-ha.
