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thehefnerOk. Seriously. If you want me to do something, TELL ME SO. If something I'm doing is upsetting you, TELL ME SO. Don't say, "well, it'd be nice if you could..." or "no, no, don't worry about me, do what you want..." or any such half-asses hints and games.
Look here, people! I'm a senior! I have a shitload on my plate as it is of stuff that I NEED to get done. I don't have time to devote to optional things to help people out; if I don't have to do something, chances are I probably won't do it, no matter how "nice" it might be.
My Vigil co-star is now twice unhappy with me, first because I didn't come and help with her show's load-in (she's doing a Stage Managing thesis, and I was in NYC for load-in) and she just now gave me the sulky treatment because I'm not going to be here for either of her actual shows, just going to go to the open dress rehearsal tonight (I was HOPING to go to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fiveseconddelay's read-thru tomorrow and see the new Floyd King show Saturday, that one's happening no matter what). And she doesn't say anything outright, just gives me all the hints until I outright ask her, and she says something like, "Ok, well I'll be at your dress rehearsal but neither of your performance nights."
ARGH. It'd be one thing if she were acting in her thesis, like she's acting in mine, but she's not! She's bloody stage managing!!! And I'm still seeing the bloody show tonight! I-I-I... yes, of course, it'd be the right thing of me to do what I can to help her out, of course, but for God's sake, I have so much on my mind that needs to get done, and unless someone bloody well stands up and actually SAYS something...! And then! Oh! And then she says the worst thing, she says, and get this, she says:
"I'm not angry, John. I'm just... disappointed."
Huh, what's that strange taste in my mouth? Odd, kinda bitter, yet strangely familar... oh, I know, karma! So that's what karma tastes like!2sick2pray, and any other victims of Captian Buzzkill's wrath, I now officially apologize. At least, until next cast party.
Sigh... so I dunno, we'll see what ends up happening. Maybe I'll just end up coming late to Alan's tomorrow night. Hopefully he won't mind. I'll miss the reading, but at least we'll be able to watch Withnail and I. Son of a diddly.
Look here, people! I'm a senior! I have a shitload on my plate as it is of stuff that I NEED to get done. I don't have time to devote to optional things to help people out; if I don't have to do something, chances are I probably won't do it, no matter how "nice" it might be.
My Vigil co-star is now twice unhappy with me, first because I didn't come and help with her show's load-in (she's doing a Stage Managing thesis, and I was in NYC for load-in) and she just now gave me the sulky treatment because I'm not going to be here for either of her actual shows, just going to go to the open dress rehearsal tonight (I was HOPING to go to
fiveseconddelay's read-thru tomorrow and see the new Floyd King show Saturday, that one's happening no matter what). And she doesn't say anything outright, just gives me all the hints until I outright ask her, and she says something like, "Ok, well I'll be at your dress rehearsal but neither of your performance nights." ARGH. It'd be one thing if she were acting in her thesis, like she's acting in mine, but she's not! She's bloody stage managing!!! And I'm still seeing the bloody show tonight! I-I-I... yes, of course, it'd be the right thing of me to do what I can to help her out, of course, but for God's sake, I have so much on my mind that needs to get done, and unless someone bloody well stands up and actually SAYS something...! And then! Oh! And then she says the worst thing, she says, and get this, she says:
"I'm not angry, John. I'm just... disappointed."
Huh, what's that strange taste in my mouth? Odd, kinda bitter, yet strangely familar... oh, I know, karma! So that's what karma tastes like!
2sick2pray, and any other victims of Captian Buzzkill's wrath, I now officially apologize. At least, until next cast party.Sigh... so I dunno, we'll see what ends up happening. Maybe I'll just end up coming late to Alan's tomorrow night. Hopefully he won't mind. I'll miss the reading, but at least we'll be able to watch Withnail and I. Son of a diddly.
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Actively aggressive
Date: 2004-10-14 03:27 pm (UTC)Okay, now that that's settled, I have to agree with you. I hate passive agressiveness. My boss is like that, my mom used to be like that, and even I'm like that sometimes. But I try to catch myself. Simple and straightforward is what I prefer.
As for the reading, don't worry about us. We'll be JUUUUSSST fine. ;)
Re: Actively aggressive
Date: 2004-10-14 10:40 pm (UTC)Thoughts From The Coffee Cup
Date: 2004-10-14 04:23 pm (UTC)Not that I'm saying you're wrong. In fact, given what I know about you, it's much more likely that "Alice" isn't cutting you enough slack, and hence is being impolite in turn. What I am saying is that this is probably where the passive-aggression is coming from. She'd speak her mind, but considers it impolite.
A lot of people are probably raised to believe this. I don't remember it offhand, but as a kid I was probably discouraged from speaking up unless asked (since, as a kid, anything I had to say was probably not worth saying). Sort of a "know your place" thing. It's not meant to be mean; I think it's supposed to train children to keep their opinions private until they have had time to steep in their experience and conscious thought. Trouble is, I think some people may fail to learn that after a while, their opinions have matured enough that it's okay to visit them upon other people, so long as they're kept on a logical leash.
"Alice" probably -is- angry, but has been taught to restrain that feeling. Maybe she doesn't know when it's time to tell other people what's on her mind. (Does she speak her mind much in general?)
Anyway, that's where I am coming from, for what it may be worth to you.
BTW, I like the way you rant, m'boy! (Yow, I sound like an old man. Where's my Metamucil?)
...and then the other shoulder replied...
Date: 2004-10-14 07:38 pm (UTC)