fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Feb. 2nd, 2005 11:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerA friend... a little higher than acquaintence type of friend... asked me out to Birthday Ball. I initally turned her down, because Cherry Orchard was scheduled to go up that weekened, great planning eh, and obviously I couldn't make it. Well, then I found out that they rescheduled Cherry Orchard to the weekend after, so I could make it after all, and I took her up on the offer.
Just around the very same time last week, Misty and I finally agreed to do this relationship thing, and huzzah I have my first girlfriend yadda yadda yadda. Well, I was speaking with this (B-Ball) girl's roommate and best friend, and I asked her if she knew about Misty and I, and roommate said I should probably tell her, and I can't remember if roommate girl offered to tell her or if I asked... I think she offered, but damn my memory... but regardless, she did. And B-Ball girl came up here to tell me, in a marvelously passive agressive, polite way that's so much worse than outright anger, that she wouldn't want to go to B-Ball with someone who didn't respect her enough to tell her such an item (that I was involved with somebody else) to her face.
Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit.
I just... gahh, Lord knows I wasn't intending to be the jerk or anything, but I did... I do like this girl as a friend. She's a neat person! She's interesting! She's layered! And... if there's anything that cuts me, it's when I hurt someone, especially someone I like. I don't do it as often as I think I do, but when it happens, God, I fucking hate myself for it.
She said I could still go on my own, but what's the point? Misty's already got a date (remember, I didn't think I could go) and besides, I wasn't relishing going to Birthday Ball anyway, what with the memories of my first and only Ball.
Shit, man. I fucking *hate* times like this.
Just around the very same time last week, Misty and I finally agreed to do this relationship thing, and huzzah I have my first girlfriend yadda yadda yadda. Well, I was speaking with this (B-Ball) girl's roommate and best friend, and I asked her if she knew about Misty and I, and roommate said I should probably tell her, and I can't remember if roommate girl offered to tell her or if I asked... I think she offered, but damn my memory... but regardless, she did. And B-Ball girl came up here to tell me, in a marvelously passive agressive, polite way that's so much worse than outright anger, that she wouldn't want to go to B-Ball with someone who didn't respect her enough to tell her such an item (that I was involved with somebody else) to her face.
Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit.
I just... gahh, Lord knows I wasn't intending to be the jerk or anything, but I did... I do like this girl as a friend. She's a neat person! She's interesting! She's layered! And... if there's anything that cuts me, it's when I hurt someone, especially someone I like. I don't do it as often as I think I do, but when it happens, God, I fucking hate myself for it.
She said I could still go on my own, but what's the point? Misty's already got a date (remember, I didn't think I could go) and besides, I wasn't relishing going to Birthday Ball anyway, what with the memories of my first and only Ball.
Shit, man. I fucking *hate* times like this.
