I'm... a sexy... sexy... beast... *flump!*

Further thinking on my Halloween costume. The real trick, at this point, will be if I can get my flab down and my upper body fit enough to look good in a wifebeater. Unless I become totally lazy or get a better costume idea, I think that's my new fitness goal by late October.

So to help achieve said goal, I just had an hour of personal training with Carolyn, the Miss Fitness Universe winner at my gym.

Or rather, 45 minutes of personal training with Carolyn, the Miss Fitness Universe winner at my gym, as by the time we started getting to leg lifts, I was about ready to vomit up with Powerbar-and-Brown-Cow-Yogurt breakfast. Frankly, my fingers are shivering as I'm typing this up.

Not wanted to push me to throw up, she said that we should meet up again next week. To which I replied, "arraugh...!"

Once my arms don't feel like futons and my stomach stops feeling like a seltzer-filled extra-thin-condom water-balloon, I'm gonna attempt to make and then suck down a bowl of oatmeal and three egg whites.

Trying to maintain a good diet will be the hardest part of all, as I like to eat what I like to eat. And I love food. Hopefully my brother will be able to show me how to make vegetarian food that's actually filling and doesn't stink, as I'm sorry, I like bread, dairy, and dead things.

*urp* Maybe I'll just sit here for a while.

*Disputed: Read "Richards! Insufferable Dolt!" by Dr. Victor Von Doom for the full story

From covenhouse_cat: "The Trouble With Tribbles," as done by Edward Gorey. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance.


Say, odd costume-related question: anyone here have a leather shoulder-holster for a pistol that I could borrow come Halloween? Preferably noir-ish and older looking, if you know what I mean.

Also, since we're talking outfit, methinks I should set up an appointment with my local optician to talk about the safety in wearing a special effect theatrical contact lens. Luckily, said local optician was one of my father's last remaining friends in the whole world that he hadn't pushed away, a dirt-rich businessman who sold and then later bought back Dad's beloved 1954 Rolls Royce Silver Dawn, so I know he'd treat me well.

Man oh man but I'm putting so damn much effort into this. If this all turns out as well as I'm hoping, I'd better have good quality photos taken! But this is good: it finally gives me a goal to which I can really commit getting in shape. Assuming Carolyn doesn't kill me first.

She's doing this as revenge for me checking out her ass between watching KIM POSSIBLE*, I know it is.

Which reminds me, the great justcomeinalone perfectly summed up the guilty pleasure appeal that is KIM POSSIBLE:

Seriously, it's like all the humor and confidence of Buffy but minus the over-dramatic angst and depressing self-reflection! And Ron and I would absolutely have hung out in high school.

And if She-Go were real, I'd totally crush on her.

You and me both, man. She has green skin (thus futhering kali921's irrefutable theory that green-skinned women are hot), Nichole Sullivan's voice, *and she can make Kirby Crackles with her hands.

But yeah, KIM POSSIBLE is everything that made BUFFY great, only without the stuff that I personally can't stand. It totally makes watching the frickin' Disney Channel worthwhile. Good sweet merciful Grodd, one of these days, I'm going to kidnap the entire casts of THAT'S SO RAVEN and HANNAH MONTANA and lock them in a room with the strictest Nazi-like method acting teachers I can find.

Oh, and from suburbfabulous, who simply titled this "WRONG":


Indeed, that really is sickening. How dare they trivialize the very serious and very real fact that Galactus is Coming?


The bowl of oatmeal and three egg whites wasn't so bad. At least not once I added a teaspoon of brown sugar and a pinch of cinnamon. On the downside, my mouth has felt slimy and egg-white-y all day.

By the way: throwing a glass of a Naked juice smoothie in a blender with ice and a dollop of Brown Cow nonfat vanilla yogurt equals taste awesomeness. Hmm... maybe with a shot of raspberry vodka...? No, bad diet-er! *smacks self with rolled up newspaper*

Say it with me now: "Starring Paul Giamatti as Elmer Fudd."

My friend Boothe has a theory about the upcoming action film SHOOT 'EM UP.

Apparently, Clive Owen's invincible badass character has a fondness for carrots. And supposedly, in one scene in a trailer somewhere, Paul Giamatti calls him a "wacally wabbit."

Boothe's theory... is that SHOOT 'EM UP is essentially a John Woo Bugs Bunny movie.

I therefore demand there to be a scene with Clive Owen in drag, trying to seduce Paul Giamatti.