Questions and Answers

Questions, o my learned friends:

1.) How do I go about copyrighting a character? Rather is there an easier or calmer method than trying to navigate through the seeming-quagmire of bureaucracy that is the US Copyright Office web site? I just want to make sure I'm doing all the right things. No worries, I think kmousie is kindly helping walk me through the process.

2.) I need a website. Which is to say, I need both a domain name and a designer. www.johnhefner.com is currently a redirecting site for a John Heffner Jr, whose own site is under construction (and who may be a cult member of some sort). So... where should I go or what should I do to undergo the process of getting a tasteful and snazzy web page for a non-rip-off amount?



And now, some answers to questions asked of me at New Year's Eve:

For pondering_duck: First, chill a cocktail glass with ice and water, and put it to the side while you mix 2 parts blended whiskey (Crown Royal is the best I've discovered so far), 1 part sweet vermouth (I've experimented with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth, half a part each, which has worked to lovely effect), plus a splash of grenadine (go for the authentic Stirrings brand if you can, available at Whole Foods, but the corn-syrup-and-red-40 version can work in a pinch too), and don't forget a dash of Angostura bitters (available at some supermarkets and most liquor stores)! If you'd like, a dash or splash of maraschino cherry juice can be added as well.

Whatever you choose to mix together, pour it all in a shaker over ice and shake well. Shake a teeny wee bit longer than you think is necessary. Dump the water out of your now-chilled glass, give it a quick dry, and strain the drink into it, then garnish with a maraschino cherry.

The trick is to find the perfect balance of dry and sweet. Only one out of every six or so Manhattans I make actually turn out perfectly. The rest are "eh, okay" at best, and some are so disappointing that I just dump them down the drain. Breaks my heart to waste good liquor, but a bad Manhattan is like drinking liquid failure.

Good luck, and feel free to experiment. I still do.

For swimpenguin: Here are three good starting points.



Finally, from that selfsame New Year's Eve party, here's a picture of crazy Heffie lording over the small folk.

I shall name them Breakfast, Lunch, and George.

Brad Dourif on L&O and I dream of Bull the Bald Bailiff

Oh rock, Brad Dourif was on LAW AND ORDER tonight (thanks for the heads-up, gnort!

The script itself was a bit dubious, but Dourif was excellent as always. I found myself cheering when the single tear rolled down his face. I realized that's kind of his trademark; really intense acting with a single tear shed in one or both eyes. He did it in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, he did it in EXORCIST III, he did in it in the excellent X-Files episode "Beyond the Sea," he did it in LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS as Wormtongue, and I'm fairly certain he did it in BABYLON 5. I wonder if Chucky the killer doll ever cried?

If he were more famous, we'd totally have "Brad Dourif tears" montages on YouTube. Any other instances come to mind, Dourif fans?

God, can someone please make THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS movie already so Dourif can play elderly Joker? Especially after what Heath Ledger seems to be doing, Brad Dourif would be absolutely fucking chilling. "Batman. Darling."

But who'd be old Batman? Mickey Rourke? And what about bald Harvey Dent? In any case, I call Sam Elliot for Jim Gordon!



Speaking of Harvey Dent and awesome character actors, I recently have added a new level of pipe dream to my Harvey Dent novel saga.

It seems that Richard Moll (Bull from NIGHT COURT and voice of Harvey/Two-Face on BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES) pretty much works for scale these days, doing low budget movies, short films, and web shows. I'm assuming it's a personal choice on his part, but then again, I wonder how many roles there are for a huge guy like him?

Well, in either case... it got me thinking that maybe, a few years down the line when I've edited the thing to a place of satisfaction... mayhaps I could get Richard Moll to perform the Harvey Dent novel on tape.

(Yes, yes, bloo_mountain, I'll track down Mark Hamill and try to get him to do a cameo as well; at that point, shit, why don't I just go and get Bob Hastings and Kevin Conroy to play Jim and Bruce and I can just relive my entire childhood. I'm cool with that.)

Whether or not I can ever get DC to publish the Harvey Dent novel, the thought of Richard Moll performing the entire book from Harvey's perspective(s)... I don't care if it's fanboy wankery, it gives me chills.

Hey, if some film school brat can get Adam West, Mark Hamill, Courtney Thorne Smith, and Dick Van Dyke to voice a short animated Batman film, and if entropicalia can hire the lead singer of the Verve Pipe to come perform at her home, why the hell not?