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an open letter to Brian Michael Bendis
Apr. 1st, 2008 12:53 amOkay. Look, Mr. Bendis... I know everyone considers your particular style of comic book dialogue to be "fresh" and "hyper-realistic" and all; even though while that's technically true, all your characters speak with the same fucking voice--a stuttering, broken-sentence-riddled cluttering Mamet-on-crack patois, fattening six-part stories that could have been told in three or four.
Fine, whatever.
I endured all this even as you took characters like J. Jonah Jameson and Doctor Stephen Strange, characters with unique and distinctive characterizations, and made them sound interchangeably like you. For my own mental and emotional health, I let it go when you actually had Dr. Strange utter the line, "Um, wow."
I gagged and swallowed your disgusting and pointlessly sadistic treatment of a character about whom I honestly don't even give a shit.
Hell, I even sighed and accepted the first of what will likely be many good, rich supporting characters pointlessly and callously wasted in the name of cheap shock value storytelling. (On a side note, assuming that character actually survives, you'd think he'd really be sick of getting stabbed by claws, don't you?)
Because my time is too valuable to let my rage of all things that could potentially piss me off rule my life. I'd rather focus on the many good and worthwhile comics out there, the stories of quality, depth, or just plain fun (including some of yours; I'm still rather digging ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN, with some nitpicky reservations).
But this... this is where you have crossed a line, my friend.
( You fucked with DOOM. )
Not even Richards, stretchy jerkface that he is, could be responsible for this effrontery. At this time, there's only one thing left to say:
CURSE YOU, BENDIS!!!
Y'know, one of these days, some writer is actually going to read--and possibly respond to--one of my diatribes. I should try to write them as if they would anyway, especially if I ever want to join their ranks as a professional comic writer. But what can I say, I have beer in me at present.
Fine, whatever.
I endured all this even as you took characters like J. Jonah Jameson and Doctor Stephen Strange, characters with unique and distinctive characterizations, and made them sound interchangeably like you. For my own mental and emotional health, I let it go when you actually had Dr. Strange utter the line, "Um, wow."
I gagged and swallowed your disgusting and pointlessly sadistic treatment of a character about whom I honestly don't even give a shit.
Hell, I even sighed and accepted the first of what will likely be many good, rich supporting characters pointlessly and callously wasted in the name of cheap shock value storytelling. (On a side note, assuming that character actually survives, you'd think he'd really be sick of getting stabbed by claws, don't you?)
Because my time is too valuable to let my rage of all things that could potentially piss me off rule my life. I'd rather focus on the many good and worthwhile comics out there, the stories of quality, depth, or just plain fun (including some of yours; I'm still rather digging ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN, with some nitpicky reservations).
But this... this is where you have crossed a line, my friend.
( You fucked with DOOM. )
Not even Richards, stretchy jerkface that he is, could be responsible for this effrontery. At this time, there's only one thing left to say:
CURSE YOU, BENDIS!!!
Y'know, one of these days, some writer is actually going to read--and possibly respond to--one of my diatribes. I should try to write them as if they would anyway, especially if I ever want to join their ranks as a professional comic writer. But what can I say, I have beer in me at present.
