Feb. 13th, 2009

thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)
--Even if I weren't still kind of claustrophobic, this thing needed the whole convention hall, not the half it got. Egad. Sparta-levels of Madness. Additionally, a comic convention is not the best place to break in new shoes. Ow.

--And yet, it was all worth to hang out with the unspeakably awesome [livejournal.com profile] bagelofdeath and [livejournal.com profile] beckara (internet-famous authors of the Guillermo-del-Toro-approved strip [livejournal.com profile] abe_kroenen) not to mention getting shitfaced with the also-awesome [livejournal.com profile] tamburlaine.

--The straight-to-DVD brand-new animated WONDER WOMAN movie is awesome. Just very well done on every level. The animation's gorgeous, the writing is smart and resistant to cliche, and the voice acting was stellar (Keri Russell, Alfred Molina, and Oliver Platt all deserve praise, but the winner has to go to Nathan Fillion, who unsurprisingly steals the show. [livejournal.com profile] kali921, watch this, and tell me if you still don't think Fillion could be Hal Jordan).

--Unfortunately, I saw WW at a panel, followed by a Q&A with the writer, the director, and man-god Bruce Timm. Which would have been awesome, if they hadn't done as they always do and opened the floor up to questions. I have never, never attended one of these where the vast majority of the audience questions aren't fucking idiotic. Some of these people are so desperate to have any reason to talk to their heroes that they'll come up with questions that could be easily figured out with Google and/or common sense.

--There was a little kid dressed up as Captain America, the costume all padded with plush muscles. His mask was off, revealing a mop of blond hair that flopped around as the kid hopped in pure joy and excitement and bliss because he was at a comic convention! When did we lose that feeling? It was so adorable, I just wanted to put on a Red Skull mask and chase him.

--Also, I understand there was a father/son (or was it daughter) pairing, where the kid was dressed as Robin and he was dressed as Harvey Dent. Not Two-Face, but Harvey Dent, with the suit and campaign button and everything. Utter awesomeness. Of course, if I were really wrong, I'd wanted him to actually be Two-Face... and carrying a baseball bat. Thank goodness I'm not really *really* wrong.

--As I cooled my blistering heels outside the convention, a worn and weary woman sitting on the bench next to me said, "Pardon me, may I ask you a question? My son dragged me here, and I'm just wondering... what is all this about? Why do people dress up in costume?" My immediate response was "Because it's fun," but I instantly realized that this was a woman to whom I'd actually have to explain the very concept of fun.

As I summed up this convention as a celebration of passion, I realized why I'd come there in the first place, and all of a sudden, the blisters and the claustrophobia and the obnoxious fans didn't seem to matter so much. Ultmately, though, she accepted my answer but clearly didn't understand it. It was all just too bizarre, too... pointless. Really, that's the question that was on her face: "What's the point?" I feel sorry for her poor son, but at least he'll always have Comic Con.

Just wear better shoes than I did, kid.
thehefner: (Hamlet: Damn I'm Interesting)
I have been interviewed by the great [livejournal.com profile] bagelofdeath. Let's see what she has to ask:


1) What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?

I think it'd have to be the road trip (but if I survive my summer tour this year, that'll be to new winner). Someday, I'm gonna continue my road trip photo posts, and even throw in a video or two. Right now, I still need some time to decompress.

Someday, I hope to answer that question with "getting my Harvey Dent novel published by DC Comics."



2) What is the strangest food you really and truly enjoy?

Peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches. Don't judge me until you've tried it. Which you never will, and will judge me anyway. It's a family tradition, started by my grandmother (not surprising from the woman who'd eat a bucket of sweetened Crisco), carried on by Mom. I don't know what to tell you people, but it works. Although these days, I don't do the full sandwich thing anymore, instead making PB&MW mini-sandwiches with saltines for a quick snack.

Really, maybe I should have just said "pineapple and sausage pizza," but that would have been boring.



3) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Do you think you have a good chance of doing this job one day?

A solo performer. By which I mean, a relatively-famous and prestigious solo performer with enough income to live comfortably (and also afford things like marketing, an agent, etc). I think I do have a good chance of attaining that some day, but I do worry that I'm not doing everything I could to get there. But so far, I've never felt anything quite so fulfilling as writing and performing my own work, and I want to keep doing it as long as possible. Or at least, unless the 2009 tour breaks my spirit entirely.

Ideally, I'd want John C. Reilly's life, where I could do my own thing, plus act on stage, in arthouse movies and frat comedies, and even show up in sketch comedy and animation.



4) Cast your ultimate Batman movie, knowing you cannot cast the same people in the same roles they've already played. So Liam Neeson COULD NOT be in your movie as Ra's Al Ghul, but could be Rachel Dawes. And your ideal Batman movie can be your novel IF--and only if--it includes all the villains. Basically I'm asking you to cast everybody in Batman. But in a roundabout way. SO DO IT.

Harvey Dent: Hugh Jackman
Gilda Lamont-Dent: Rachel Weisz
Bruce Wayne/Batman: Daniel Day-Lewis (with some of that Benjamin Button youthifizing CGI)
Lieutenant/Captain/Commissioner James Gordon: Josh Brolin
Christopher “Double-Down” Dent: Harry Dean Stanton
Vincent “The Boss” Moroni: Ray Liotta
Carmine “The Roman” Falcone: Robert De Niro
Carl Grissom: Al Pacino
Rupert Thorne: Paul Sorvino
Adrian Fields: Leland Orser
Dr. Rudolph Klemper: Sir Derek Jacobi
Dr. Hugo Strange: Sir Ben Kingsley
Jack Ryder: Stephen Colbert
Alfred Pennyworth: Hugh Laurie
Mayor Hamilton Hill: Scott Wilson
Detective Harvey Bullock: Brendan Gleeson
Detective Renee Montoya: Michelle Rodriguez
Willis Todd: Jason Lee
Butch Montrose: Ethan Suplee
Micky “Mad Dog” Pike: Nicky Katt
The Joker: Brad Dourif (with makeup and BB-CGI)
Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin: Kelsey Grammer (with the help of John Rhys-Davies' people from LORD OF THE RINGS)
Edward Nigma/The Riddler: Matt Frewer (BB-CGI)
Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow: Jeremy Davies
Selina Kyle/Catwoman: Rosario Dawson
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: Isla Fisher
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: Cate Blanchett
Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze: Clive Owen
Jervis Tetch/Mad Hatter: David Tennant
Waylon Jones/Killer Croc: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Ra’s al Ghul: Naveen Andrews

My apologies if I've horrified you by miscasting your favorite character. I don't entirely stand by all of these, so if you have any suggestions, let me know.



5) What item do you covet more than anything right now?

Honestly, this sounds strange, but for right now... I think I'm gonna have to go with that Gilda Dent drawing.
thehefner: (We Don't Need... Rhodes)
Thank god someone loaded this today, so I was able to post this just under the wire:



Don't it just warm the cockles of your heart? I mean, before Jason stabs you through said cockles?

I was considering giving a full, thoughtful review for the new FRIDAY THE 13TH, but frankly, I don't think anyone else really cares, much less gets all warm and fuzzy at the thought of this unstoppable special-ed zombie.*

Suffice it to say, the new FRIDAY pleased me. The people giving it bad reviews are the ones who completely miss the point. They might as well try reviewing porn movies. It's not a real movie, it's FRIDAY THE GODDAMNED 13TH! And as a Jason movie, it absolutely succeeded.

Also, it features a character who really could join the ranks of the all-time great assholes. Not quite at Walter Peck from GHOSTBUSTERS levels, but definitely somewhere around Paul Reiser in ALIENS, and Anthony Michael Hall in EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. Even though the film failed to deliver a truly satisfying death for him ala Rhodes in DAY OF THE DEAD, let's just say that Travis Van Winkle may just be the Scream Queen of 2009.


*Dang it, I just want Jason displaced and put in other situations. Like, fighting Uruk-Hai. Or Aliens! Imagine Jason getting attacked by a facehugger: before the alien baby can burst out, he just does the practical thing and stabs himself in the gut repeatedly. Dead alien baby bleeds acid, burns its way out, plops to the ground, and Jason moves on to battle the Queen with a machete.

Come on, I can't be the ONLY one who's in a happy place with this visual!

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