thehefner | HEFFIE AND DON

I finally saw BENNY AND JOON, and I think I sympathized a way lot more with Benny than with Joon and Sam. I know we're supposed to feel sympathy for the romantic couple, but I sympathized far more with Benny's plight, for I too know what it's like to have your life on hold while you have to do everything for a house-ridden crazy person. And what it's also like to deal with the hateful, crazed ingratitude of said crazy person, who becomes very hostile, defensive, and hurtful if you ever get fed up with him. It came very close to that once again today, as a matter of fact.

I was gonna do some last-minute shopping for Dad today before I left for Seattle, but today, for the first time since I exploded at him, he asked me to buy him tonic water. "I know you don't like going to the liquor store, so could you just pick up whatever you can get at the Safeway?" Since I wasn't in the mood for fight, I said I would. Fine, whatever. Never mind that he seemed to mistake my discomfort with the actual buying of the product rather than where I would buy it from, but whatever. I said I would.

So I go to Safeway and they were completely out of Canada Dry tonic. They had Safeway Brand and Schweppes, but Dad only drinks Canada Dry, so I shrug and say, "oh well, they don't have it," and my heart isn't broken for some reason. I brought the groceries back to Dad and we spent an hour talking and having a pretty good time. Then he asked about the tonic, and his reaction to the news was...

DAD: You knew I was counting on that, John.
ME: And you know I don't like getting it for you.
DAD: It's all I have left, it's what I need...
ME: But I don't like getting it for you. (long, awkward pause) Why don't you have the liquor store send you some?
DAD: The store I go to is in DC and they can't ship to Maryland.
ME: Where do you get your gin from then?
DAD: Nita and Larry (family friends, the only ones he has left) get it for me.
ME: Oh. How nice. Well, why don't you call a store to see if they'll deliver?
DAD: I don't know of any. (long, awkward pause) When are you leaving tomorrow?
ME: Noon.
DAD: Oh. Well, if I asked you to drive to 7-11 to pick up some tonic, would you?
ME: I... would be incredibly unhappy about doing that.
Long, awkward pause
DAD: I'm very disappointed, John. You knew I was depending on this. You could have just gone to another store...
ME: And you know I absolutely hate getting it for you. I've always hated doing it and I'm not going to do it anymore. I know you're going to drink no matter what, so I'm giving you other options as to how you can get it, but I'm not going to be the one of do it ever again. It makes me feel terrible, and I've done it for over ten years now without complaint, even though I hated every second of doing it. I will get you food and supplies and whatever else you need, but I'm not going to do that ever again, and I hope you can respect that.

He didn't say anything else on the matter, so we said our good-byes and departed. And while I'm waiting for the angry phone call any minute now that would result from a few hours of stewing, I must say that I'm quite impressed by how I handled that. I stood my ground without losing my head. It probably comes from being less consistently miserable as I'd been earlier this summer.

But back to BENNY AND JOON, I did like it, sure, but I didn't see it as the utterly charming Depp-fest that many others did, I imagine. Just because I really felt for Aidan Quinn, who in the context of the film came too close to being a bad guy than was strictly fair. And let me add that Juliane Moore's character was a hateful, selfish bitch for how she treated him, and I don't think that was the filmmaker's intention. Anyway, yeah, good film, but not so much fun for me because I know what it's like to have a Joon, and how it plays on the guilt and makes you feel like the bad guy. And it really didn't help that Joon reminded me of Misty sometimes, especially with the bit about the raisins. I think she actually said that speech sometime. Unsettling.