thehefner | writing this before I rest up and get less angsty

I started to write a long meandery angst post, but it just went nowhere. Goddamnit, I'm tired. Goddamnit, I'm melancholic again. I want her to talk to me again. I want her to tell me it wasn't my fault, because I know it's not but I need to hear it from her. I need her to know it herself. I can't stand the thought of her blaming me for her misery. I couldn't stand it with my father and I can't stand it with her. And maybe I don't need need it but damn it it's what I fucking want so much. But as is the way with such things, of course I will never hear it. I will never get from her the validation I want.

But on the plus side, Taco Bell brought back the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Gorditas can't fill the emptiness inside of me. But they help.