quickies. and not in the good way, but what're you gonna do? that's right, bitch, not a thing.

[thehefner]

The Professor from Gilligan's Island is Reed Richards.

It's a sad day for DDR fans everywhere: Captain Jack has died. I don't know the details yet. I will Dream a Dream for you, oh Captain my Captain.

Some Hollywood asshats are talking about remaking CREEPSHOW. You know, George Romero and Stephen King's love letter to the classic EC Comics horror stories like in "Tales from the Crypt"? Apparently these producers are abandoning the comic anthology aspect in favor of a story structure mimicking films like "Go," and in doing so utterly and completely miss the point of CREEPSHOW.

No, seriously. The Professor IS Reed Richards. In age, in face, in pipe. In the way he's absolutely brilliant yet only able to invent things for very limited, specific purposes. DOOM would have figured out a way off the island before Richards would have even found coconuts to make a radio!!!

Oh, Jay? Apparently we still DO have my grandfather's files. ALL of them. Either up at Gordon's farm in storage or (god fucking help us, I don't care what Mom says I do not fucking trust this) in our basement.

I hate posting on LJ between Friday and Sunday because I feel like only half the people are reading, and even they're just skimming.

Comments

[whimmydiddle.livejournal.com]

I'm reading!

And I generally skim all the time, sorry. (Which is why I didn't get to read that great story about your grandfather's last words till waaay after you wrote it, one day when I had some extra time on my hands. But I was glad when I did finally read it!)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It's all good, I tend to be a total skimmer too. If only because I have a ton of frickin' friends and I should eventually pare 'em down. I have a couple people on here that I have absolutely no idea who they are or how they know me!

[whimmydiddle.livejournal.com]

Um, and what's with this Reed Richards thing? You are constantly cursing Richards, and I think I missed out on some background somewhere.

And who's Captain Jack, besides the guy who will get you high tonight and take you to your special island?

[chickenhat.livejournal.com]

(Repeating this online as well as F2F verbally)
Yes, as well as the Joel song, Cpt. Jack is the DDR guy who did "Dream A Dream" and "In the Navy", and I think he's got a couple others, but those are the ones you'd recognize.

Well... dang. But there's worse things to be remembered for. :-)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ok. I shall explain Reed Richards as both John Hefner and as Victor von Doom.

HEFFIE: Reed Richards is the leader of the Fantastic Four and is one of the most, if not THE most, brilliant minds in the Marvel Comics universe. Before being a scientist, he was an Indiana Jones-like adventurer and explorer, then he went to NYU to study physics where he roomed with a brilliant european exhance student by the name of Victor von Doom. Though Doom was highly arrogant, the arrogance was deserved. They formed a brief partnership for a time until Reed noticed that Victor's calculations for a project were off. Doom disregarded Richards and proceeded with his machine, which was intended to create a portal into Hell so he could contact the soul of his dead mother (why she was in hell is a whole other story), but the machine blew up in his face, scarring Doom. Whether the scar was huge or just a tiny mark has been up to speculation, but Doom retreated to a tibetian monestary and had the monks create a suit of armor and a metal mask, which he put on before it cooled sufficiently and thus totally burned him. Reed and Doom have been arch-enemies ever since and Reed Richards is considered one of the greatest heroes, thinkers, and leaders of Marvel Comics superheroes.

DOOM: Richards is a fool and an idiot, a stretching madman of unbridled arrogance and show-boating stupidity. That he dared to question Doom's calculations?! To suggest that Doom is even capable of error! Bah! Richards was always jealous of Doom's intellect, just like everyone else. No, Doom's calculations were not incorrect. Richards must have sabotaged Doom's machine, leaving Doom horribly disfigured and hideous! It was not enough to deny Doom his mother, no, but to destroy Victor von Doom as well! So be it! No longer am I that weak Gypsy peasant boy Victor. I am ruler of the soverign European nation of Latveria, the most brilliant mind in the world! I shall destroy the pitiful "Fantastic Four," and all the self-righteous so-called "heroes" in this world, and save Richards, bane of my existence, for last. Know my name well, plebians, for I am Doctor Doom, but you shall know me as MASTER!

Doom blames Richards for everything bad in his life (there are some that argue that Richards actually was wrong about the calculations and did sabotage the machine, but not in a malicious way as much as to try to save Doom). So for me, "Richards" has become synonomous with everything bad in life. Stub your toe? Curse Richards! Get into a car accident? Curse Richards! Bank screwing you over? Curse Richards! Girlfriend leave you for the sleazy hedonist pot-head man slut waste of life son of a best-selling author? Oh you bet that's a Curse Richards. You see, it's all purpose! Give it a try sometime!

Oh, and Captain Jack is a dance music artist/remixer whom I am only familiar with via DDR, as he is included on most of the games I think. His are some very memorable tunes, such as his remix of "In the Navy".

[chickenhat.livejournal.com]

Creepshow Redux... sux0rs.

Richards as Professor as Richards... wasn't that an intentional thing they did in Kingdom Come? No, seriously. Go back and look (or chide me for taking the bait on such an easy "who else knew this?" prodding).

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hmm... gonna hafta dig through Kingdom Come and see for myself... now that I think about it, it's totally in the style of Ross and Waid.

o. m. g.

[jayel4192.livejournal.com]

Somebody (you, your family, just... SOMEBODY) has to figure out what to do with those files!!!! If you'd like, I could make some phone calls and emails. See if I can't rally the baseball geek squad cavalry. (namely the DC chapter of SABR named after your grandfather). There may be a problem with possesion: obviously you can't store them or organize them by yourself. But if you wanted the rights/ownership of them or the info they have, a straight up donation may not be the way to go.

I might just be having a geekgasm, but it seems like a very important decision needs to be made by your and yours. and soon. they've been sitting in less than perfect conditions for almost three years now, yes? scary.

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

I dont skim. Actually I have more time to read on the weekends than during the week.

Yes, Richards and the Professor are one and the same. I want Doom.. *sigh*

Captain Jack died? Crap. If you get more details, please post. He was so cool..

[stdelia.livejournal.com]

I nearly cried when you said Captain Jack was dead. Ye bastid. :(

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

I was looking at your post and skimmed to the end to see this:

"I hate posting on LJ between Friday and Sunday because I feel like only half the people are reading, and even they're just skimming."

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, I write things like "Misc. Thoughts" and this "quickies" one because I thought people would read a bunch of standalone tidbits put together. But it seems it just makes them even more prone to skimming. Bah!

[dame-ratcliffe.livejournal.com]

I'm reading...sometimes a few days late, but I'm reading...