The Hefner Monologues: The Movie

[thehefner]

Ever have one of those days where you get bored and decide to cast the movie of your life? Well a few months back you made your suggestions, so now it's my turn. Inspired by fishymcb's previous post.



As my mother, Roberta Hagen: Kathy Bates

She hates this comparison, but after playing "Roberta" in About Schmidt, oh god it works.

My father, Donald Hefner: Paul Newman

Yes, he really was that handsome (by was, I mean, imagine this plus years of alcohol abuse)

Josh:

Harold Ramis

Jaki:

Claudia Black + weapons

Dave:

Tom Waits

Alan:

Peter Scolari

Tammy:

Mena Suivari
Alternate:

Ayumi Hamasaki

Melp and Molly:

Duh.

Juliana:

Amanda Palmer

My grandmother:

What? Oh, like I'm not already going to the special hell.

Liam:

Colin Firth + ruffles

Danny:

Ice-T

Misty:

Tobey Maguire

More/better pics later if I'm still bored or not doing anything tonight. If you guys have any more suggestions of your own, by all means, comment/pic spam away.

Comments

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

LOL, Misty as the creepy hitchhiker from Fear and Loathing is the funniest damn thing I've ever seen.

[irish-caffeine.livejournal.com]

Wait, you think the HITCHHIKER was creepy?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think the Hitchhiker was the creep-ee not the creeper in that scene/movie.

[erzebetbathory.livejournal.com]

yeah, veto that one, veto

but then again, i'm biased.

and hey, i'm not *that* manly..

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

This *is* Tobey Maguire we're talking about, Misty. I think you're manlier than him. Hell, I'm manlier than him, I'm betting.

[ortugatay.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, us as Walter and Perry is perfecto. So your movie will be Roger Rabbitesque, with animated characters, eh?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You two are *already* more cartoon than human when you're together.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

i've been laughing my ass off about this for several minutes now. thats awesome.

why did you think of him?

i mean, he's a badass and all, and i love him.. but since he's started doing Law & Order i'm just not sure he's black enough to play me.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Just thinking back to our Johnny Go/Johnny Mnenendmdonic discussion.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

hehehe thats right.

except i'm sadly much less freaky looking than i once was.

[morganashkevron.livejournal.com]

Liam = Colin Firth + ruffles

I had to bite my knuckles to not laugh out loud at work. Too true!

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

Mr. Waits was approximately my age in that photo.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

Wow tobey maguire as misty is cold, amusing and creepy all at the same time. Waits as Dave is inspired.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The worst part is, I'm really for the most part not kidding. He totally has her down better than any actress I can think of. He's got the mannerisms, the eyes, the little smiles, the scowl, everything.

I think I told her this already. She never reads my LJ anymore, but if she does, hopefully she'll know it was meant *lovingly*.

But as I say, I'm already going to the special hell as it is.

"Special Hell"

[spirit-o-fire.livejournal.com]

Oh... magod!

Yes. Yes you are. But you won't be alone. I will be jopining you because I laughed so fucking hard at the one of your grandma. I nearly choked, I laughed so hard.

I haven't told you this enough, recently: You ARE a GENIUS!

[winterist.livejournal.com]

hahaha, i like the misty one. hahaha.

colin firth is teh hawt.

[winterist.livejournal.com]

but i think that's only because he played mr. darcy.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hey, you don't even know Misty. And it's still funny! Yes, I have done my job and earned myself that room in the special hell after all.

Firth. And ruffles! A winning combo if there ever was one.