I FIRE YOU WITH BULLETS NOW

[thehefner]

"So you're the fresh fish, huh? New Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. Do you know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old. You're thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whiskey and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. RAW meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In NEW JERSEY! FOR H.A.T.E.!"

Sweet googily moogly, how I love Warren Ellis' new comics, NEXTWAVE, issue 1 just went out on sale yesterday. How can anyone dislike any comic that has:

FIN FANG FOOM! Mommy was a slut-lizard that did the bad thing with suggestively-shapes piles of nuclear waste, and nine months later...

FIN FANG FOOM! Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!

FIN FANG FOOM! Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!

FIN FANG FOOM! Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.

NEXTWAVE is a super hero comic about five people who have just minutes to prevent a town from being eaten by a giant lizard monster. In purple underpants.

Comments

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

*snicker* So I should read this, huh?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh glory be, yes. Otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to have to just randomly quote it all the time. I just kinda want to burst out in that Dirk Anger monologue at inappropriate times.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Well, keep that as an alternative plan, y'know, on the back burner. It's more impressive that "That ring would have brought you here sooner or later."

"What the..."

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

You are of course aware that, until Tor explained who/what FFF is, I was thoroughly convinced you'd finally gone thoroughly barking mad.

And I'm still not entirely sure you haven't...

[jcsbimp.livejournal.com]

We who know "thoroughly barking mad" as, not a place you finally go to, but an interesting neighborhood that we can't resist visiting (probably all too) frequently, salute you and want to see NEXTWAVE, oh yes, definitely.