rrargh! Angry comic fanboy!

[thehefner]

It's quite remarkable how one bad comic can ruin my entire day. Seriously, something really awesome had totally better happen. Because I'm not sure anything can take the metaphorical awful taste of the latest issue of BATMAN out of my metaphorical mouth.

The fucking hacks had such a brilliant, wonderful, novel concept, and utterly pissed it away in the most asinine, utterly predicitble way that everyone could see coming since part 1, but I'd hoped, *hoped* that maybe this time they'd be smart enough NOT to go that route and try something new and different! But no. And I know that the status quo must be maintained, but for God's sake, you could have gone with it like this for a *little* while!

Fuckers. I almost don't want to be working at the store today, just so I don't have to be in the proximity of this craptastic story.

Something seriously awesome had better happen today.

I'm talking full-on me standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me.

I'm not giving up on you, Harvey.

Comments

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

throwing little pickles at me

Do we even want to know why that would make you feel better?

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Real Genius - wonderful movie

Mitch: The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris: Was it a dream where you were where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris: Why, am I the only one who has that dream?

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Granted, it still doesn't explain why it's a good thing...except it somewhat implies that he's being worshiped by lot of naked women. But they're showing this devotion with phallic objects. Maybe he's looking to get pegged. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Ahhh! Thank you - I never saw the movie and now understand why [he might think] it would be awesome. Of course, it still does not sound like a good thing: being target practice for a bunch of angry pregnant/prepregnant women* must be something that only masochistic men understand.

*Who else would be throwing pickles? and if they were transported to equatorial regions for this exercise, aren't they bound to be hot or uncomfortable - and therefore angry?

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Well, there's nothing to indicate they were transported to an equatorial region; they could be native to the area and comfortable in the climate.

Of course, I don't like pickles, so I can't see them being a good sacrifice to gain favor from a sun-god.

[tazira.livejournal.com]

(Snarf!) Oh, thank you for that very near spit-take...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That latter part may have been inspired by The Blessed Val, but it was you I had in mind. And that glorious photoshopped image that (I believe it was) Yancy did.

[yancentric.livejournal.com]

what happened? (i don't care about spoilers since i don't read the comic)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

In the One Year Later DC-verse, we learn that Batman entrusted the city to a new vigilante- Harvey Dent. This was the first time we've seen Harvey since he was cured back in the otherwise-horrible HUSH storyline. Now someone is going around killing off Batman villains and making it look like Two-Face is behind it. When Batman confronts Harvey (who almost certainly isn't the killer, unless the writer really is that lame), Harvey resents the implication and distrust and Two-Face tells him (inside his head) that Batman's just jealous because Harvey was such a better vigilante than him. So Two-Face talks Harvey into pouring nitric acid on his face (without nary a wimper, as casually if he were washing his hair!) and boom, he's craaaazy Two-Face again!

What pisses me off about this was how cool it would have been to had kept Harvey sane. Imagine-- a gotham vigilante that NO one trusts. He's brilliant, a great fighter, cunning, and everyone is totally wary of him. He would have been such a great wild card character. But no, for the millionth frickin' time, he undoes the plastic surgery and goes bonkers again. LAME. So fucking predictible, and yeah, it would have to happen eventually, what a fucking waste. And what a stupid fucking reason to do it.

Of course, bear in mind that Harvey is perhaps my favorite comic character ever, for some reason. Still. PISSED.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

GET YOUR RAGE ON, baby!

I hear you and feel your pain.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I've grown so apathetic and jaded that I could just shake off bullshit like Beetle's death, Max Lord going evil for no reason, all of Infinite Crisis, etc... but this? I haven't felt righteous geek fury in far too long. Fuckers!

I was so tempted to IM you first and just bitch about this together. Because if anyone understands, it's you.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

*great big internet hug of sympathy*

You know I'll always lend an ear to you about anything, including fan ranting, and YES I UNDERSTAND TOTALLY OMG. I'm so sorry I was so quiet last night after you first IMed me but I had a friend in crisis. However, I adore you, and our chat. per usual, was great.

I'm going to see X3 on Saturday night. Squee!

Just tell me one thing, but no spoilers please, and I'm asking you because I TRUST you: did they do my baby Hank justice?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. I have so few people with whom I can be grumpy about comics.

As for Hank... well, bear in mind, I don't have nearly the breadth of knowledge and love for him that you do. A couple things, like his hinted origins, might delight you and might also cheese you off. And I'm sorry, but his body fur looks like a blue shag carpet. Or like he's wearing a skinned muppet, whichever is funnier. But generally, you will likely be satisfied. As long as you accept that Hank, like everyone else in the movie, are less full, living, breathing characters and more set pieces for action scenes. Damn, I disliked this movie.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

They still have Two-Face merch to sell. SOMEbody had to be Two-Face, and Harvey's got a lot of experience.
It's Time-Warner.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

What Two-Face merch?

[gnort.livejournal.com]

you mean to tell me you haven't seen the two face lunchboxes, coffee mugs, tshirts, and bumper stickers?

He HAS A LEGO. Really.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Warner Bros. has a vested interest in maintaining the continuity of their Batman property.
Two-Face is on video (multiple times, including a live action version.)
Two-Face has had at least eight action figure or PVC appearances that I can name, and that's just between the Batman Animated, Lego, and Batman And Robin lines. DC Direct and Minimates aren't really factors; you can kill people who only have those, ostensibly, and leave them dead for some time (since nobody STAYS dead.)
Two-Face is, therefore, immortal.
That's good (in the right hands, such as Matt Wagner's, he can be fascinating) and that's bad (see also: Tommy Lee Jones)...but it's true.
I liked the idea of Harvey as a wild card, too. I thought James Robinson was going to take the Bat-books to some awesome new places, and maybe he still can...but if you're an A-list Bat-villain, you (or your replacement) are relatively immutable, no matter what geeks like us think of your handling. Creators' hands are tied; Batman's back must be repaired by Shondra Kinsolving, Superman must use some Kryptonian resurrection ploy, and there must ALWAYS be a Robin.
This isn't fair to creators, or to guys like Blue Beetle; the Justice League cartoons do not depict him, so he just does not exist. Jack Knight doesn't either, although there's a Starman. Booster, on the other hand, was on JLU. The Elongated Man, whose marital status was not discussed, was played by Jeremy Piven in the same episode. The three I just mentioned all had action figures at Target, too, in the past year.

Re: He HAS A LEGO. Really.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Wow, a lego? I wish you could snap him in half to make him Harvey or Two-Face whenever you desired.

Aye, these be sad truths that you bring up, but there are always exceptions, mainly due to the fact that, by and large, the comics are considered the least important aspect of the superhero industry (after the movie came out, more Spider-Man toothbrushes were sold than actual Spider-Man comics). Like, Ra's al Ghul is sadly, stupidly, still quite dead. A good guy Harvey Dent (or even an anti-hero Two-Face) would not exactly invoke the ire of the bigwigs for the time being. We all know he's have to go back again, because all comics eventually go back to the status quo (I wouldn't have been able to be so calm and content a Hal Jordan fan all these years if I didn't believe that), but still... wasted opportunity.

But then, they can always do it in ten years when Harvey gets cured again and gets plastic surgery again before going crazy again.

Re: He HAS A LEGO. Really.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

You know Ra's will be back. And I'm a big Hal fan, too, so much so that I bought the plush Hal at the WB Store...in 2000.
And Spider-Man comics haven't been all that good (on average, mind you; I love me some JMS/JRJR!) since I don't know when.

Re: He HAS A LEGO. Really.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know/hope Ra's is coming back. Greg Rucka swore up and down that he'd stay dead. I think he truly wants it to stay that way. But seriously, Nyssa's so lame.

Oh god, I totally bought that Hal plushie too! I have it somewhere...

JMS did some brilliant Spider-Man stuff (the Aunt May confession issue may be one of the finest Spidey stories ever), but the Norman-fucking-Gwen thing... I still haven't forgiven him for that.

Re: He HAS A LEGO. Really.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

That was icky...and more proof that even the best guys in the business are out of new ways to make things cook.
And that gold and red Spider-suit is not long for this world, either, for the same reason you can expect Ra's back...it's not the same Spidey as on my son's dinner set, so it can't stay. Ra's was on the Batman cartoon, and he has at least one action figure.
Nyssa: because Talia was too butch.

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the Two-Face Beer Koozies. I love those things.

"one bad comic can ruin my entire day"

[tankgirl88.livejournal.com]

im embaressed to say, i feel your pain

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. I mean, not about "Batman" particularly, but in comic-book general. "Nothing will ever be the same! No, like, for really real this time!", my ass.

[mirthical.livejournal.com]

I suggest you use this opportunity to start writing your 2OTP terrifying violent smut for, um, venting purposes.

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I don't feel your pain about comics. However, your post gave me Season 5 West Wing flashbacks. If there's such a thing as Post Sorkin Stress Disorder I will need treatment again soon.

In the good news department, did you get the files I sent you?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aye, that I did, that I did! But I won't be able to listen to 'em till tomorrow (or later today, depending on how you look at it) when I'll be at work. Yay for broadband! I'll totally let you know what I think! Thankee!!!

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?


(also, do you want to hang out for a bit monday night? i'll presumably have seen x3 by then and we can dissect it)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Monday might be nice. Bloo will be on her way back to Pittsburgh by then so company might be de-loverly.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

ok.. so tonight we hang.

i saw X3 yesterday, so we must dissect it bit by bit.

meet me at my office around 8:15ish?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Sure... although is it at all possible for you to metro to bethesda or something? I get outta work at 6 and I'm planning to hit up CalTort... but if you can't, I unnerstand.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

if you really need me to, i can, but i really want to avoid the metro because holiday metro schedules suck my left one. plus it'd add another hour or more to when we can meet up. but i understand the pain for you as well, so..

remind me and we can hit an atm. Holly and i owe you like $10 for gas.

i am currently writing my X3 review. tonight we geek-out.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ok, I'll pick ya up at 8:30ish then. But be warned, I'll be less "analyzing" the movie and more "bitching", I believe is the technical term.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

hehe read my review.

we'll be fine.