PIRATES review
Jul. 9th, 2006 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerI didn't want to like PIRATES 2: GET KRAKEN. I mean, I really, really didn't.
Here's the thing. I absolutely, firmly believe that no would would have given a rat's ass about the first PIRATES movie if it weren't for Johnny Depp's performance. And for the record, I still don't think the original PIRATES is the fucking second coming of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK as so many others seem to. In my humble (har) opinion, it was a C-grade movie elevated to B+ purely, purely by Johnny Depp (and Geoffrey Rush is always wonderful too, but he couldn't have carried that movie on his own).
It's much like GANGS OF NEW YORK with Daniel Day Lewis, except that Bill the Butcher was a brilliance performance in a flawed movie, while Captain Jack Sparrow was a brilliant performance in an empty movie. Fun, empty, popcorn film, that's how I saw the original PIRATES. And this summer, I honestly wanted SUPERMAN RETURNS to be the movie to see rather than a sequel (with all the pitfalls that sequels have) of a fun, empty movie.
And yes, PIRATES 2 had a number of those sequel pitfalls. I hate it when sequels run through the "greatest hits" of the previous movie, and this movie certainly does that with lines like "why is the rum always gone?" and bringing virtually everyone from the original back(even the frickin' dog with the keys!).
And yet, in spite of all this, PIRATES 2: LEGEND OF DAVY JONES' GOLD was an assload of fun.
The movie has been getting a lot of shit for being overblown, and yeah, it kinda is. The ENTIRE fucking sequence with the cannibals could have been cut, I don't care how fun it was. And by the time we started to get to the mill wheel, I was getting a little exhausted by how over-the-top it was. There could have been more places to pause and breathe, that would have been nice. If this was all the movie had to offer, as I had been expecting, then I could have just dismissed it as so many others are.
What really won me over to this movie was that there actually seemed to be (dare I say it?) character development! Seriously! While much of the plot is treading on familiar ground, the characters themselves have actually grown and evolved since the first movie! Will is now far more confident and Errol Flynn-ian than he was before, Elizabeth is more complex and fun, Sleazy and One-Eye stay true to their characters while still essentially being "good guys" more or less, so on.
Oddly, the only one here who really seems to be treading familiar ground here is Johnny Depp, who at points seems to be doing an impersonation of Johnny Depp playing Captain Jack Sparrow. Still fun, but he isn't really surprising us too much here like he was before.
As for Orlando Bloom... well, I have to say, watching Will in action made me realize why people hate Cyclops so much. He's super-enthusiastic, brave, noble, self-sacrificing, and always so utterly serious in it. I really just wanted to rip that pube-stache off his face half the time.
Stellan SkARRRsgARRRd was wonderful to behold, as always. He's such an underappreciated actor. And I loved how even under all that CGI make-up, you could still totally see Bill Nighy as Davy Jones. Not even being in UNDERWORLD 2 could take away my love of that man.
It's so funny that I should have liked this movie as much as I did. It feels like precisely the sort of thing at which I should turn my nose, and I am certain that many of you here will be disappointed in it, just because so many other people seem to be. But I really, really liked it, and especially for two more reasons above all:
First, the Commodore. He was probably the most surprising thing in the whole movie. From the way the scenes were written, I thought we weren't even going to see him, but when we did, I didn't expect to see him like that! I'm far more interested to see where his story goes than Will's, Elizabeth's, even Jack's! This is a complex, fucked-up character, and I truly hope he does find his "redemption" in part three.
But really, what really sealed my love for the movie was the very, very last ten seconds of the film. I had so hoped they'd bring him back, and honestly, he was just missing throughout the whole sequel. I cannot wait to see where they go with him in part three. I cannot fucking WAIT. Captain motherfucking Barbossa is back, bitches.
Here's the thing. I absolutely, firmly believe that no would would have given a rat's ass about the first PIRATES movie if it weren't for Johnny Depp's performance. And for the record, I still don't think the original PIRATES is the fucking second coming of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK as so many others seem to. In my humble (har) opinion, it was a C-grade movie elevated to B+ purely, purely by Johnny Depp (and Geoffrey Rush is always wonderful too, but he couldn't have carried that movie on his own).
It's much like GANGS OF NEW YORK with Daniel Day Lewis, except that Bill the Butcher was a brilliance performance in a flawed movie, while Captain Jack Sparrow was a brilliant performance in an empty movie. Fun, empty, popcorn film, that's how I saw the original PIRATES. And this summer, I honestly wanted SUPERMAN RETURNS to be the movie to see rather than a sequel (with all the pitfalls that sequels have) of a fun, empty movie.
And yes, PIRATES 2 had a number of those sequel pitfalls. I hate it when sequels run through the "greatest hits" of the previous movie, and this movie certainly does that with lines like "why is the rum always gone?" and bringing virtually everyone from the original back(even the frickin' dog with the keys!).
And yet, in spite of all this, PIRATES 2: LEGEND OF DAVY JONES' GOLD was an assload of fun.
The movie has been getting a lot of shit for being overblown, and yeah, it kinda is. The ENTIRE fucking sequence with the cannibals could have been cut, I don't care how fun it was. And by the time we started to get to the mill wheel, I was getting a little exhausted by how over-the-top it was. There could have been more places to pause and breathe, that would have been nice. If this was all the movie had to offer, as I had been expecting, then I could have just dismissed it as so many others are.
What really won me over to this movie was that there actually seemed to be (dare I say it?) character development! Seriously! While much of the plot is treading on familiar ground, the characters themselves have actually grown and evolved since the first movie! Will is now far more confident and Errol Flynn-ian than he was before, Elizabeth is more complex and fun, Sleazy and One-Eye stay true to their characters while still essentially being "good guys" more or less, so on.
Oddly, the only one here who really seems to be treading familiar ground here is Johnny Depp, who at points seems to be doing an impersonation of Johnny Depp playing Captain Jack Sparrow. Still fun, but he isn't really surprising us too much here like he was before.
As for Orlando Bloom... well, I have to say, watching Will in action made me realize why people hate Cyclops so much. He's super-enthusiastic, brave, noble, self-sacrificing, and always so utterly serious in it. I really just wanted to rip that pube-stache off his face half the time.
Stellan SkARRRsgARRRd was wonderful to behold, as always. He's such an underappreciated actor. And I loved how even under all that CGI make-up, you could still totally see Bill Nighy as Davy Jones. Not even being in UNDERWORLD 2 could take away my love of that man.
It's so funny that I should have liked this movie as much as I did. It feels like precisely the sort of thing at which I should turn my nose, and I am certain that many of you here will be disappointed in it, just because so many other people seem to be. But I really, really liked it, and especially for two more reasons above all:
First, the Commodore. He was probably the most surprising thing in the whole movie. From the way the scenes were written, I thought we weren't even going to see him, but when we did, I didn't expect to see him like that! I'm far more interested to see where his story goes than Will's, Elizabeth's, even Jack's! This is a complex, fucked-up character, and I truly hope he does find his "redemption" in part three.
But really, what really sealed my love for the movie was the very, very last ten seconds of the film. I had so hoped they'd bring him back, and honestly, he was just missing throughout the whole sequel. I cannot wait to see where they go with him in part three. I cannot fucking WAIT. Captain motherfucking Barbossa is back, bitches.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 05:15 am (UTC)I really do want to see Pirates 2. All the bad reviews have scared me a little, though. Reassuring to hear someone of discerning taste (i.e. closish to mine) liked it. But I'm probably very easy to please on the subject of pirates, so I don't expect to be disappointed.
(As an aside, I kinda forgive the pube-stache. I can't fault a guy for wanting to Flynn it up, even if he does just look like a girl in fake facial hair.)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 05:20 am (UTC)Poor Scott. It's not his fault that writers don't know what to do with him.
Hehe, Bloom's 'stache is just such a high school AV geek's attempt at a mustache! And I laugh, because I know that it's EXACTLY the kind of mustache I'd have if I even tried to grow mine out. All I can do are sideburns and amish beard.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 06:33 am (UTC)But given X-charge of the X-world, my first order of business would be to send Scott to one of the many magical curative critters they have to get rid of that troublesome brain damage. It's not like it's even remotely impossible in Marvel-world. Then he'd have to get new shtick.
It's really not his fault, I know. I love Nightcrawler, and look what they've done to him over the years! I have Opinions about how super-comics could better handle themselves to avoid this problem, but that's a whole rant.
I can't do any facial hair at all. And somehow Orlando Bloom's still prettier than me. Go figure.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 06:43 am (UTC)Magical curative critters?
I really have no idea why I love Scott. I always have been a sucker for glasses, way back to my pre-school Egon Spengler obsessions. I feel like Scott's just unfairly spat upon. At the very least, he deserved better than what he got in X3. She ATE him, man!
Pssh, Orlando Bloom is so clearly a prissy little bitch, and your geekdom coupled with the couple photos I've seen of you easily put you above him.
Well, except maybe him in LOTR, but dear lord, ALL the Elves were hot beyond belief. We mortals just can't compete.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 07:17 am (UTC)That buddy-movie thing would actually totally work!
Haha, thanks. I meant "pretty" sort of in that exact "prissy little bitch" sense, in reference to the Bloom. I don't at all mind looking less delicate and waiflike than he does, but it's funny that preteen girls love him so much for it. I guess one could make the case that he's not very sexually threatening... at all...
no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 01:56 am (UTC)Hehe, I think they just see him as the kind of guy with whom they can have slumber parties and gossip about boys.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 06:29 pm (UTC)I was kinda hoping that Will would pitch a fit and dump Elizabeth and she'd become one of Jack's sluts. Would make me laugh.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 12:55 am (UTC)Yes yes and yes! In the beginning when you hear the governor mentioning that Norrington had resigned I thought "Oh, damn. They wrote him out." because the line sounded exactly like the sort of offhanded line that's normally used to explain why a certain actor isn't going to be in a film. So when he reappeared I was surprised* in a very happy way. I half-wanted him to stay on Jack's ship and continue to snark bitterly, but what actually became of him is by far more interesting. Hopefully we'll see a lot more of him in 3 and get some resolution for this complex character. His downfall is even more interesting if you've seen some of the deleted scenes from the first movie, as a couple of those scenes make it clear that during the first one the character really was a good honest man, and was deeply in love with Elizabeth. I don't think we'll see that man again in this film series, but I'm really looking forward to seeing what becomes of Norrington.
Time to go icon making, methinks.
*One of the few big surprises I still had for the film, as I'd already been spoiled a long time ago about the Barbosa bit and at what happened to Jack. Looking back though I can see that Norrington appeared in the trailers and some of the promotional photos, mostly taken from the big sword fight. But the character looks so different compared to how he looked in the first one** that at the time it didn't even cross my mind that the person in those photos was actually Norrington. (I had assumed that it was Beckett)
**And what a difference it is! Ditching the powdered wig and getting grundged up a bit is a look that he wears very well, IMO. Add in the fact that Jack Davenport has an insanely sexy voice and you get a very happy Jenny indeed. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 01:54 am (UTC)Yeah, that's the thing I liked about him in the first, he actually was a decent and noble man, certainly more interesting than Will "ooh, my dad was a pirate, I'm gonna bitch about it and try to grow a mustache" Turner.
Geez, I really do hope he has a happy ending.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 03:19 am (UTC)(of course, I couldn't help but take this icon from the potc_icons community, since I giggled like an idiot when I first saw it.)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 03:35 am (UTC)It's interesting that Norrington is probably the only character in the first movie that isn't motivated by purely personal gains. He wants to uphold the law first and foremost. I really hope that with all that will be going on in third (Chinese pirates! Led by Chow Yun Fat! Barbosa's back and he's siding with the good guys! More Davy Jones! Bringing Jack back!) he won't be pushed to the back and brushed over. The writers have made a really interesting and great character, and yeah I want him to have a happy ending too.