Well ya can't outsmart me, cuz imma mo-ron.

[thehefner]

Well, it seems I failed to neglect to mention that when I had written that last post, I already HAD replied to Gary saying "Yes! Yes! Yes! When's the best time for an audition for you?"

I'm on it. I ain't no chump.

Even if the whole prospect is huge and kinda scary at this point.

Now Gordon's talking about canceling our tickets for London if I get into Grad School. But look, I don't care how much everyone else might fucking do the same, I fucking wanna go to London. Damn it. Ah well, I shouldn't worry about it till I actually find out whether I get accepted or not. Still. I am fucking serious. It's bloody important to me.

Now I gotta speed memorize something from David Sedaris' SantaLand Diaries, but I've never even READ the bloody thing yet. Anyone got any ideas what sections might be best for me to audition with?

As I'm supposed to be doing more age-appropriate audition pieces, I'll also put the King Lear aside in favor of Hamlet's "Too, Too Solid/Sullied Flesh...", which has always been a favorite of mine.

I got till 4:30 Tuesday. So we will see.

Comments

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

If it hasn't already been overdone, some portion of the title piece, "Santaland Diaries," about Sedaris's experiences working as an elf at Macy's, is probably your best bet. The writing is fall-down funny, and you in particular will be able to take it to twisted, neurotic heights. :)

The essay has been made into a short play, if that helps. Maybe you'd be able to find a monologue in that easier than plowing through the entire essay (it's long, like 30+ pages, IIRC).

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Well, actually, I *did* already say that I was doing something from SantaLand Diaries up there, but if you could suggest a particular portion, that would be much appreciated. I'm gonna read it today, but I'm not as familiar with it as most.

I don't think I'll need the play, as the actual book looks perfectly cromulent.

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

Gah. I was confusing the title "Santaland Diaries" with the title of the collection it originally appeared in, Holidays on Ice.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

you in particular will be able to take it to twisted, neurotic heights. :)

Why thank you. I think. ;)

I wonder if that's what Gary himself was thinking when he told me that I should memorize it.

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Did you know David Sedaris has a book signing and reading coming up in Baltimore? I think it's at the Meyerhoff(sp?).

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'm trying to avoid the man as much as possible before the Hefner Monologues are published. The first three times people likened me to his work (without my having read it), I was flattered and encouraged. The next three times, though, I started to feel inadequate. I wanna avoid Sedaris as much s possible until at least the first book is published, so I don't actually get influenced by him.

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

I've seen Sedaris perform in person. I've read just about everything he's written.

You're actually not very much like him at all. Unless you've become a gay, obsessive-compulsive housecleaner living with his boyfriend in Paris when we weren't looking. :) (And no, I didn't make a single one of those things up.)

John, you can do highly neurotic, but you aren't highly neurotic yourself. You're actually a remarkably low-maintenence actor (at least from a stage-management point of view). Like Sedaris, you draw from your unusual life experiences to provide an unusual way for people to see the world. But those experiences are light-years apart from Sedaris's. (And he frankly can get kind of annoying and whiny: you may ramble, but you're always entertaining.)

So if you'd like to go see Sedaris, do it. I really don't think very much will rub off at all.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

This is very good to hear. Especially in light of my most recent post :)

To which you may or may not be issuing a rebuttal as I type this.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ok, having read SantaLand Diaries, aye, I can definitely see the major differences in Sedaris and myself. I see much more similarities in my stuff to some combination of Christopher Titus and Garrison Keillor.

Oh, and I realized I hadn't actually responded to this part yet...

John, you can do highly neurotic, but you aren't highly neurotic yourself. You're actually a remarkably low-maintenence actor (at least from a stage-management point of view). Like Sedaris, you draw from your unusual life experiences to provide an unusual way for people to see the world. But those experiences are light-years apart from Sedaris's. (And he frankly can get kind of annoying and whiny: you may ramble, but you're always entertaining.)

Wow, you actually think I'm not neurotic? I think I'm crazy insecure and neurotic. But I've never heard myself described as "remarkably low-maintenence" as an actor before, that's fascinating. Thank you!

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

Er, notice the qualifier I put out front: "highly." Oh yeah, you're definitely neurotic, but Sedaris is, literally, clinically so. When I say he's OCD, I mean he's one of those guys who had to touch the doorknob 30 times before leaving a room. You're wound pretty tight, but you're not that tight.

You're also cooperative, polite, and attentive to directions. This not only makes you low-maintenence to a stage manager; this makes you golden.

Standard disclaimer: not that pretty much all of the Rudes I've worked with aren't (at least the long standing ones *coughTheocough*). But I had to pretty seriously dress down an actor or two in New York. And I shut down the lights on a director once.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Missing that qualifier is probably one of the reasons I only got a 580 score on my GRE verbal section. Hooray for qualifiers!

Wow, glad to know I ain't that bad. If life kept crushing me down, though, I could see myself growing up to be Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, but no one wants that.

And thankya!

Standard disclaimer: not that pretty much all of the Rudes I've worked with aren't (at least the long standing ones *coughTheocough*). But I had to pretty seriously dress down an actor or two in New York. And I shut down the lights on a director once.

And I can so see you doing that too. 'S why I love ya and why you're the best stage manager I've worked with.

[charisma18.livejournal.com]

Careful auditioning with Hamlet. Too many casting directors (and, by extension, admission reps) it's considered a big red flag. Usually they prefer something that they haven't all seen a million times before. Also, it shows that the actor's breadth of theatrical knowledge goes beyond the Big One.

One of your strengths is your knowledge of new and fringe materials. Use that.

The counter-argument is "Only use Hamlet if you know it will be the best Hamlet they've ever seen." Kenneth Brannagh auditioned for RADA with Hamlet, and pulled it off. So you never know. The problem is, EVERY actor is convinced their Hamlet is the best anyone's ever seen; hence the glut of Hamlets at auditions.

Same applies to musical auditions and Les Miserables.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, man, I'd never have chosen Hamlet if I hadn't first outright asked Gary Sloan himself. He said go for it; "A Hamlet one is good."

I'm just thinking about a Shakespeare that's age-appropriate and that I'd be good at. And while I don't profess to be a Brannagh, and while I've never had the honor of playing Hamlet before an audience, I still feel like I very, very much understand where he's coming from. Much that I felt like I understood where even old Lear was coming from, which was a great monologue when I last did it for Gary, but definitely not age appropriate, so he wants me to do others this time around.

For example, Macky-B, the Scottish King? I don't get that fucker. I don't like him, I don't sympathize with him, I wouldn't ever do a monologue from him.

I honestly think I can do Hamlet. And hey! Maybe more people are purposely avoiding Hamlet for the very reasons you state!