Hamlet by way of my Denis Leary/Chris Titus neuroses... brilliance!

[thehefner]

BLOO: so how'd [the mass auditions for Actor's Center] go today?
ME: oh, yeah, it went... well, I think! Methinks the Sedaris is the monologue to stick with. It employs my neurotic crazed energies well. Although I don't think I'll be getting called in to play Hamlet with it
BLOO: perhaps not... Hamlet has a different sort of neurosis.
ME: But man, I bet in that case, my Hamlet would be one of the most entertaining in 400 years
BLOO: but would it be in the right spirit? I'm not sure the world is ready for Hamlet via Woody Allen.
ME: Not Woody Allen. My neuroses are far too crazed and sometimes angry
BLOO: hrm.
ME: Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt holy crap I'm going bugfuck AAAAARGHHHH! *runs off screaming, flailing arms*
ME:: *actors look around awkwardly*
BLOO: that would rule, actually.
ME: Claudius, "Erm, well, our sometime sister, now our Qu-"
BLOO: you'd have to thrust it on them without warning.
ME: "AAAAARGHHHH!" I run by again
ME: "TO BE OR NOT TO BE OR NOT TO BE OR NOT TO BEEEEE!"
BLOO: do they do shakespeare for people on crack?
BLOO: you should be the first.
BLOO: dada shakespeare.
BLOO: the mind boggles.

This converstation soon gave way to cannibalistic flirting.

I love our little talks.

Comments

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

Gertrude: "Good Heflet, cast they nighted colour off."
Heflet [singing]:"I said 'Doctor, tell me what to take!' I said 'Doctor, to remove this belly-ache!'"

Laertes: "I'll touch my point with this contagion, that, if I gall him slightly, it may be death."
Heflet [offstage]: "You can kill me, but another will take my place!"

Ophelia: "For the last time, my names not Tammy!"

Heflet: "What is he whose grief bears such an emphasis? This is I, Batman!"
Laertes: "Oh God! He's got a cape!"
Heflet: "Of course you know, now I have to beat the shit out of you!"

Heflet: "Dost thou think Alexander looked o' this fasion i' the earth?"
Horatio: "E'en so."
Heflet: "And tasted so? Pftftftftftftft!"
Horatio: "...E'en so, my lord."
Heflet [upending skull and tonguing the eye socket]: "Mmmmmmm! Braiiiins!"
Horatio: "..."

Heflet: "Give me your pardon, sir: I've done you wrong; but pardon't, as you are a gentleman. This presence knows, and you must needs have heard, how I am punish'd with sore distraction. What I have done, that might your nature, honour and exception roughly awake, I here proclaim was madness. Was't Hamlet wrong'd Laertes? Never Hamlet: If Hamlet from himself be ta'en away, and when he's not himself does wrong Laertes, then Hamlet does it not, Hamlet denies it. Who does it, then? His madness: if't be so, Hamlet is of the faction that is wrong'd; his madness is poor Hamlet's enemy. Sir, in this audience, let my disclaiming from a purposed evil free me so far in your most generous thoughts, that I have shot mine arrow o'er the house, and hurt my brother."
Laertes [recalling Sean's First Rule of Stage Combat]: "No fucking way, psycho-boy."

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You're lucky I have a Manhattan in me at the moment.

Unfortunately for me, now my mind is going over what an entire show of Heflet would be like...

You are a special, special lad, Alan. I'd post this in my LJ, except I honestly don't know how many would get it.

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

For some reason your conversation reminded me of this exchange Mike and I had ages that I posted on an old live journal post (I guess it makes more sense if you know of my on/off again obssesion with the show Degrassi Next Generation-Canadian high school melodrama):

Me: I can't wait for next weeks Degrassi; looks like Marco comes out to his dad-in front of the whole school auditorium while performing Hamlet...
Mike: um. I hate it when that happens.
Me: yup, Shakespeare might be pissed if he knew his plays were being interrupted by canadian kids coming out.
Mike: well Canadian kids doing anything.

And the picture to prove that such a scenario existed: http://brightcove.vo.llnwd.net/o2/unsecured/media/8021/8021_139002478_9272166c4e4556972488d29c91f8c5b384912b7a.jpg

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aye, I remember seeing commercials for it when I'd stay up late to watch DARIA reruns on "The N". Ohhh Canadians.

I get my Gay/Canuck/Shakespeare Fix from SLINGS AND ARROWS, personally. SUCH an awesome show.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

too cute.

but yeah, you as Hamlet would be fascinating but a little frightening.

maybe you can try for the Arnold Schwarzenegger version of Hamlet from Last Action Hero.

on another note.. saturday night, November 25th. you and me. geeking and beers.

its been too long.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Should be doable, methinks. I'll double-check my calender tonight, but that should be just fine. Sweet! Indeed it has been too long. I shall present to you a whole BOX O' DC COMICS, organized in the order they are to be read.

I promise excellency.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

awesome. that sounds great.

i cant be out all night, as i have to run sound board the next morning at church. but we should be able to get a couple hours of geeking in, at the least.

i'll be off around 8:30ish. sadly, that wont leave enough time for us to get to cal-tort. we'll figure something out, though. apparently there are other places that serve food. some of them even have non-burrito items, i hear.