Further GRINDHOUSE thoughts

[thehefner]

It was even better the second time around. This time I was able to catch all the bits I missed (many of them, anyway) and utterly savor the audience's reactions. If you're thinking of waiting to see this on DVD, motherfucking don't.

Some spoiler-free thoughts:

At the movie's start, I had a schoolboy crush on the utter hotness that was Rose McGowan. Fuck the critics, I thought her acting (or at least her charisma and line delivery) throughout was excellent. But two and a half hours into the double-feature, I encountered the wonder and joy that is Zoe Bell, and in doing so, I became a man. My God, she is soooo hawtsome, it's no wonder QT wrote a whole part for her, playing herself. They must have just absolutely loved her on the sets of XENA and KILL BILL.

Michael Biehn and Jeff Fahey: 80's Guy OTP

Nickey Katt is so obviously an insufferable prick, but I love every performance he gives. This guy stole the show in SIN CITY with the pitch-perfect delivery of a single "hey."

I'm like, wow, on one hand Freddy Rodríguez is so totally badass here. But on the other hand, OH MY GOD, is so tiny and cute, I just wanna put him in my pocket!

Kurt Russell delivered a deceptively rich performance here. What an underrated actor. Mickey Rourke was set to play Stuntman Mike first, and yet I honestly don't think he could have done it better than Kurt. I think this is a performance for which he should be forever remembered.

Naveeen Andrews: yet another reason I need to bite the bullet and watch LOST.

I need to rewatch the opening of FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, just because now I am absolutely convinced that there is no way, no WAY that Earl McGraw (Michael Parks) could have been fucking killed by George goddamn Clooney and Quentin Tarantino.

It's so unfair that Rosario Dawson is a huge comic nerd and yet somehow not my girlfriend. So unfair.

Trejo owns all.

Here's what spacechild had to say regarding comparing PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF:

well, remember what all else i said to you about it.. Planet Terror is less of a commitment to pop in the dvd player, as it is nonstop landmines being thrown at your face, but the landmines are hidden inside banana cream pies covered in whipped cream that Asia Argento whipped up by hand in the nude.

whereas Death Proof is a slow build commitment, like wearing a blindfold for 45 minutes while someone tickles your taint with the dull side of that big-ass knife Rambo had, and it could easily be Betty White's older, less hot sister doing it... but then she whips the blindfold off you and its actually Natalie Portman but with bigger boobs, and she says "and you never thought i'd be this kinky, huh?" as she pulls out the Orgazmo gun and shoots you in the ass with it.

I'm serious. See it in a packed house on the best screen possible with the best friends possible. This isn't a movie; it's a three-hour community thrill ride. This movie reminds me why I love movies. No shit. This is an utterly joyous experience, and I will see it again at least once more while it's in theatres.

The geekgasm bar has been risen for 2007. Bring it the fuck on, HOT FUZZ and SPIDER-MAN 3. Let's see what you've motherfuckin' got.

Comments

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Saw it just now in a packed house with AJ and my movie-buddy for life, Ryan, and it really enriched the experience. There was cheering, and Montréalers aren't impressed by anything.
A big amen on the Freddy Rodriguez thing. I love him. In the few "Six Feet Under" episodes I've seen, I just thought "Cute like a scalpel-wielding little puppy!" and here I thought "Cute like a gun-toting, badass, dead sexy little puppy!" Besides, who am I to call him "little"? He's four inches taller than I am, according to IMDB.
I liked Traci Thoms in the Tarantino one too, but Zoe Bell was fucking awesome. I'm not a Tarantino fan (he thinks he's brilliant and I only agree about 10% of the time (i.e. the last 10% of "Death Proof")), but I will say that he makes the most convincing rapist I've ever seen on film.
They never did explain Naveen Andrews' special little obsession, did they? I was a little curious about that.
I had lots of fun.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I... I think I know where my own personal Twilight Zone style hell is now. A place where I cannot impress anyone with my antics? *shudder*

Yes, but you're not a gun-toting, zombie slicing badass. And even if you were, you'd be able to get away with it, for you are a cute girl, and he's the TEENIEST BADASS IN THE WHOOOOOOOOOOOLE WORLD!

I completely understand that Tarantino feeling. I feel that way about Tom Stoppard and Grant Morrison (although his cult of personality isn't as self-generated as, say, Warren Ellis). Personally though, I love Tarantino because he's a geek, first and foremost, and even when he's completely ripping something off the screen, he usually does so with the geek joy of "I love this so much, here, look, isn't that awesome? I wanna make you feel the same way I felt when I was a lonely geek and I saw this for the first time!"

And I think that last 10% wouldn't have worked if the whole movie was like that, or PLANET TERROR. DEATH PROOF is such a strange, beguiling film; I've been thinking about it for days, and I will be thinking about it all day today. It's so not an easy film for an audience to sit through after the first hour and a half of GRINDHOUSE, but... man, I think it's actually a really excellent film. Without it, I might have just sorta forgotten about GRINDHOUSE by now, much as I have with 300 (all the jokes and parodies aside).

He really was a convincing rapist, wasn't he? Even if he didn't rape in the conventional sense. Charming, likable, self-deprecating, seductive, calculating, vicious, sadistic, amoral, and ultimately, just a whiny little pussy. A bully. I just don't think Mickey Rourke would have been able to pull that off the same way! From what I understand from one person who read the DEATH PROOF script months ago, so much of Stuntman Mike's personality wasn't in the original story. That was all Russell.

They don't explain a lot of things. Like how exactly Rose McGowen shoots her leg gun.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I should amend that to "anything on a screen". We have so many live things and festivals that there wasn't even any cheering at "300". I've only ever heard cheering at "Bon Cop, Bad Cop" and at "Grindhouse" (and at the Fantasia Film Festival, but show a houseful of geeks "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!" on the big screen and that's what happens). We really do like live things and festivals, though.

It was nice to see a short guy who isn't Bruce Lee kick ass. I felt vertically-challenged solidarity with him. Helped that he was sexy. Though I was amused at how they were really trying to hide the fact that Rose McGowan is totally taller than he is.

The thing with Tarantino is that I only sometimes get the feeling that he wants me to feel how he feels. Like, there's an actual barrier of "Movies and I hang out behind the dep and make fun of you" between us. I mean, the Zatoichi thing? That chick has not seen any Zatoichi. It's the Joss Whedon feeling, where all the characters and all the lines and tricks and things are just his own personal sex toys and he's not even asking anyone else to play. When he's on, he's really on, but to me that's not nearly as often as he thinks it is, and that makes me less inclined to enjoy it when he does pull off something awesome.

You're right about that. And the last 10% totally sells the rest of it for me. But I really did enjoy "Planet Terror" more, though it's possible that that's because I prefer something half an inch deep but my kind of crazy in this kind of movie-watching situation.

Oh, I just meant that he's so damn sleazy and omega-male.

She shoots it with sexyness! Obviously. Put a chick in a tiny enough, leather enough outfit and her wish-fulfillment powers grow exponentially. I had to pick AJ and Ryan's jaws up off the floor after "Planet Terror" because of her.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The Joss Whedon thing. Yes, you make me understand completely. I just read BUFFY SEASON EIGHT # 1 of the comics, and a female character made a super specific Nick Fury reference that struck me the exact way that the Zatoichi one struck you. That was Whedon, not the character.

Wow, I've been hearing a lot of Tarantino dislike this past week. I didn't realize it was so common. That's nutty: many people feel about Tarantino in much the same way i feel about Joss Whedon!

Yeah, the neat thing about GRINDHOUSE is that no one seems to be able to agree what they liked better: the films, the trailers, or which of the four trailers was the best. I think that's pretty damn impressive.

Put a chick in a tiny enough, leather enough outfit and her wish-fulfillment powers grow exponentially. Samara's Law! Add large guns and you're good to go.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Exactly! And it's funny, because while I recognize the similarity, I'm inclined to excuse Joss Whedon on it (at least as far as parts of "Astonishing X-Men" and all of "Firefly" are concerned) while I find Tarantino almost viscerally annoying the vast majority of the time, and it's the opposite for you.

For me, the choice is obvious: "Machete". Danny Trejo may not be cute as an ass-kicking bug like Freddy Rodriguez, but I could watch him in movies all day.

I have a Law! Awesome. The gun thing, then, is Heffie's Corollary.

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

I was a little surprized when I went to see the movie and it wasn't packed. There were at most, like thirty people there, and it's only by luck that my bf and I saw it with anyone else. I really want to see it again, though without him next time.

Dude, Zoe Bell was fucking insane. As much as Planet Terror was awesome, I really liked Death Proof more. Like, I've almost completely forgotten the details of Planet Terror (ok, maybe "I never miss" will become one of those catchphrases with my friends and I), but Death Proof is going to stay with me if only because of the way Tarantino set it up. It's subtle, but the payoff is way bigger. Also, I may have had cold, clammy hands while I was shitting bricks in my seat. Wow.

Freddy Rodríguez looks a lot like Hal Sparks. This amuses me greatly.

Kurt Russell, SO COOL. I don't want to be spoilery, but at the the end! Just, yes! SO GOOD.

And Matchete? As a full-on Mexican, I feel it's my duty to inform people that about 85% of Mexican cinema is Just. Like. That. But it usually has something to do with running drugs across the border or something. Either way, my grandpa would totally watch that. On Telefutura even.

I loved Hot Fuzz's intro thing: From the guys who watched every action movie ever made.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh, the bf wasn't the best person to see it with? If so, that's a damn shame. It really must be seen with one's most receptive geek friends.

Yeah, I think without DEATH PROOF, I don't think I'd have given GRINDHOUSE much more thought beyond "Well, that kicked ass. Who's up for nachos?" Kinda like 300. Great kickass fun, but not much to chew on. But I'm *still* thinking about the whole thing, especially DEATH PROOF. There's something really... magical? Beguiling? I still can't quite put my finger on what it is that DEATH PROOF did, and how it worked.

OK! John Leguizamo, Freddy Rodríguez, and Hal Sparks need to play brothers! They will face off against a grizzled pair of evil twins played by Nick Nolte and Gary Busey!

Man, now I truly do hope the rumors are true and that they'll actually make MACHETE.

I cannot wait, cannot WAIT to see HOT FUZZ. But I'm told that the two movies it references the most are BAD BOYS 2 and POINT BREAK, both of which I now need to see before the film comes out!

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

The bf is kind of hashing' my buzz so to speak. I'm trying to be Beyoncé; he's trying to be Tom Cruise. We shan't speak of it again.

Thing about Death Proof, is that for most of the movie I felt like I was ten again, tagging along with my older, cooler aunts while they were doing things they definitely shouldn't. That scene where Zoë and Kim are arguing about what Zoë wants to do, that was the scene where it hit me. I always like Tarantino because of the talky bits in his movies.

If Machete was made, my dad would forcibly drag me to the theaters. Only there needs to be a giant, robotic alligator with lasers on its head for him to truly freak out over it. It's this that leads me to speculate loving crappy b-movies with a passion must be some sort of blood trait, like diabetes or rolling your tongue.

Ok, I really hope you mean you need to re-watch Point Break and Bad Boys 2, because those are some of the awesomest movies ever! Or, at least, Point Break is. Hmm. Maybe it's just me though; I grew up watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Keanu Reeves movies religiously. I swear the Keanu thing was an accident, one day I realized I'd seen all of his movies.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Beyonce? Tom Cruise? I have no idea what you're talking about, yet I am most amused indeed!

I really do wish Tarantino, Kevin Smith, and Brian Michael Bendis would write plays. I really do. I would love to see what they would do with a play.

And now comes the moment of crushing disillusionment for you, for I must admit, while I have a healthy appetite and knowledge of B movies, horror, sci-fi, and cult stuff... but I am sadly lacking in having seen action films.

Oh Keanu. I do like him. Not for his acting, but he just seems so affable. Even if he was in DRACULA: "For I know where the bostard lives."

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

That's ok, I've never seen any of the Die Hard movies, but I make up for that with kung-fu movies like Riki-Oh and stuff. And lots of 80's flicks. Oh God, the 80's...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I've only seen the first one, and thought it was one of the dumbest damn films I'd ever seen, thus earning the ire of many people. It's on the list of things that people love that are just lost to me.

However, I have not seen and want to see the LETHAL WEAPON movies, because with KISS KISS BANG BANG, I worship Shane Black.

Have you ever seen YEAR OF THE DRAGON? I saw that one because Tarantino said it had his favorite scene from any movie, and it is pretty badass. It's totally cheezy, but very watchable.

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

Year of the Dragon? Back when Micky Rourke was still hot? You bet your sweet fish eating butt I did!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Mickey Rourke and John Lone on train tracks, charging at one another AND shooting? Dear lord, but that was hardcore, wasn't it?

My butt eats fish? It lied to me! It told me it was vegan!

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

Man, now I want to see it again. I'm going to have to borrow someone's VCR, but it'll be worth it. Damn, now I know what I'm gonna do the rest of the day, thanks man!

[jellied.livejournal.com]

"--but I am sadly lacking in having seen action films."

I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to turn in your testicles, and your membership to the Brotherhood of Men.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

In fairness, I've given more than a dozen reasons to revoke my membership here in my LJ alone. Hell, I don't think I was ever offered membership in the first place.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Although from the sounds of it, your hardcoreness, it may seem that they mistakenly sent my application to you ;)

Stop moochin' off MY union benefits!

[jellied.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure you're born into it.

I could do with being a little less hardcore if it meant that I didn't have to accrue so many legal expenses.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It's funny that this is coming up now. I'm working on a Hefner Monologue I'm gonna perform this Tuesday, hopefully to be recorded.

It's all about how I utterly emasculated myself in order to escape a $275 speeding ticket, with 5 points against my license. The short version is that I got off, but only after I handed the judge my balls on a silver platter.

I guess what I'm saying is that we both kinda lose. On one hand, your expenses sound far, far wose than mind. On the other hand, people who hear this story may end up losing all respect for me.

[jellied.livejournal.com]

I've already spent 230 on impoundment and rental fees so far. This has yet to even touch on court fees and fine, and whether or not I can even think about affording a lawyer.

My wrists still feel like shit too. That's something I'm going to have live with-- which is awful, as I work with my hands. As an artist, and in the shop. But then -- I've done the same with a bad knee and a thrice dislocated shoulder.

I'd like to hear your story one day.
PS. Is there a female equivalent of emasculation?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

God, I wish there was something I could say or do there. Perhaps I can offer you the comfort of shadenfreude when you read/see my story.

Hopefully, I should have a youtubeable video of this story after it's recording at Tuesday's performance. But if not, I'll (more than) happily send it your way.

Y'know, I really have no idea. I wonder?

Where did Danny say that?

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Where did Danny say that? Because I want to metaquote him, pronto!!

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, at the begining of Planet Terror with Rose McGowan twirling around the strip pole, I was thinking "this movie is trying to make me straight..." Then Freddy Rodriguez came on. Hell yeah.