*not so innocent* erotic games?

[thehefner]

Man, it's just not my day today. I'm really in a grumpy, sleep-deprived mood. Part of it has to do with the tenant who rents out the apartment next to my room. You remember, the one with the really loud dying-fox sex? Well, the good news is that the sex has stopped. The bad news is because her mother has moved back in for the next few weeks.

Her mother is perhaps the single most annoying person I have ever met in my entire life. Her very presence causes my earwax to curl and my teeth to bleed. It's bad enough that she sounds like a screeching chicken lady even at her most normal moments. No, she's a talker. She's someone who will waddle into my work area and proceed to bitch and monologue about something going on in her life, with only a "hey" from me as provocation. Is this what the "Ugly American" stereotype feels like to non-Yanks? I just want to poke her in the eye with my model skeleton's figure and give her the whole Death speech from MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE.

It doesn't matter what I might be doing at the time. I could be walking out of the house on my way to work. I could be sitting down watching a movie (you do NOT interrupt movie time with me any more than you'd interrupt someone on the phone). Hell, at this point, I could be sitting on the can, and she'd STILL walk on in and just start going on and on and on and on about the most meaningless, pointless drivel that I have neither the emotional investment to give a damn, nor the power to improve the situation in any damn way. She just won't. Shut. UP.

My God. She's like a walking livejournal, delivered with a high-pitched grating screech.



In far more pleasant news, I've discovered an old trailer for a real grindhouse movie, and incidentally, the inspiration for Edgar Wright's fake trailer for GRINDHOUSE (I won't tell you the title, as that would spoil the joke). This trailer for TORSO (original Italian title: I CORPI PRESENTANO TRACCE DI VIOLENZA CARNALE or BODIES BEAR TRACES OF CARNAL VIOLENCE) is so gloriously wonderful (by which I, of course, mean: terrible) that I had to do a bit of seaching just to make sure it was for real.

Because man oh man, GRINDHOUSE really didn't parody all that much, did they?

Note: this is most assuredly NSFW. Or anyone who isn't into GRINDHOUSE style humor.

And now I feel a tad bit better.

Comments

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

My God. She's like a walking livejournal, delivered with a high-pitched grating screech.

Quote of the day, man.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I love that they use the term "psychosexual" like it's a dangerous mental illness. Amazing.

Oh, no. I hate people who interrupt movie or TV-show time. It's like, "No, I'm not just staring at this box trying to while away the minutes until you find it in your heart to talk to me! I'm invested! Get away!" But they never understand. They are usually the kind of people who watch sitcoms, too. You can't get invested in sitcoms. You really are just staring at that box waiting for someone to talk to you. Instills disrespect for the television, I say.
Maybe you should try making her think you're a dangerous psychosexual killer. Cuddle your skeleton while watching TV and see if it makes a difference.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's a real problem there in badly-dubbed-Italy-land.

You're only saying that because you're being forced to watch ALL IN THE FAMILY, aren't you? ;)

There are occasional sitcoms that emotionally invest me, but they are rare indeed. More and more, I've come to be surprised by how much I enjoy FRASIER. Every five episodes or so, the light fare gives way to just a touch of depth and humanity. Iit's like the anti-FULL HOUSE in that way; they never beat you over the head with it, and it's the more resonant for all that when it happens. There are times when FRASIER achieves the level of being rather nice one-act plays.

My current favorite quote comes from the end of one episode with Bebe Neuwerth as Frasier ex-wife. "We do have our baggage, don't we?" she asks, and he says, "Yes, but that's what makes the trip more interesting."

Or maybe I should go back to my plan of Devastating Psychological Warfare that I had thought to institute against her daughter's loud sex.

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

You can handle the old bat in one of two ways. If you want to be rude, and this method may or may not be effective, when she starts talking to you, just go back to what you were doing. Try to turn your head away from her, so she's staring at the back of it. If you want to try to be a little polite, you can interrupt her, and I mean talk right over her because you know she's not going to stop, and say "Excuse me but I'm in the middle of something and I need to get back to it. Thanks for understanding." She may take this well or not, I duno. But you certainly don't have to stand for it for christ's sake!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm definitely gonna have to do the latter more often. That's the plan.

squee

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

(singing): "I'm just a sweet pyscho-sexual..."

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Holy shit that looks awesome. Too bad I can't find it on Netflix. If you get your hands on it, please please let me know.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, I have absolutely no desire to actually WATCH the bloody thing! Egads, no!

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Aww. It would be hilarious! Bring a group of people together, eat nachos, laugh at the rediculousness of it all. It would be fun like the Wicker Man remake.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I only have so much of my soul to sacrifice to the altar of bad movies. I save the opportunities to watch bad movies for the sake of bad movies for very, very rare occasions. TORSO just looks bad. WICKER MAN was only enjoyable for about five collective minutes. The rest was soul-crushingly boring. I don't have time for that shit, I really don't. That's why youtube is so wonderful, because people can show all the good clips!

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Good point. I never want to see the entirety of the Wicker Man remake. It would just make me cry. And now that I think of it, the only thing that made the Torso trailer entertaining was the movie-announcer guy. Ah well. For actually fun campy horror movie goodness, check out Livelihood. (www.livelihoodmovie.com) My mom was in it. The co-writer and makeup lady is my 36-year-old twin. She is so awesome and cool. She's sadly not in the movie.