Passion of the "Cartoon Store" Clerk

[thehefner]

I went to the liquor store to get recommendations for a nice bottle of merlot. I've started dipping my toe into the wine world with Yellow Tail as my training wines, and so far, merlot has caught my fancy more than shiraz and cabernet sauvignon (the only other ones I've so far tried). I've yet to have a true complementary wine-with-food experience, but so far, the merlot has been great to have on its own.

Anyway, it didn't take long for a worker at the liquor store to offer help (which they never do when I'm looking at non-wine stuff; one of these days, I'm going to have to get up the courage to ask where they keep the butterscotch schnapps), and I told said worker my situation, asking him for his advice.

I tell ya, this guy's eyes just lit right up.

I knew exactly why. I'm certain it's the same look I get when someone asks me for comic advice.

And all at once, I'm reminded of the major problem I'd have in trying to write the HEFNER MONOLOGUES book/show about working in the comic store. It was all summed up perfectly when I tried to tell a comic store story at the Speakeasy open mic last fall, a story some of you might remember. It was a rant about how working there made me come to better appreciate and love the medium, but at the same time, turned me increasingly belligerent and intolerant towards those I deemed had bad taste, and were willingly spending money on crap, thus telling the companies to make *more* crap.

The head of Speakeasy--a damn cool woman who's helped hone my monologues--said to me later, "Yeah, it was good, but I liked your last story better. The one about when you got drunk in Bath? That was awesome. So, uh, do you still, uh... do you still work at the cartoon store?"

... I'm tempted to make that the start of the Hefner Monologues story, except that even though it perfectly sums up the problem, many people still wouldn't get why that's so depressing. Which even further illustrates the problem!

I'm not talking about comics, and the mainstream's inability to accept the medium, wank wank wank. No, I'm not gonna go on that old fan wankery again. It's a thoroughly-legitimate-but-rather-tired point. Hell, I'm not even talking about fandom in general. I've come to fear that what's really sad about that woman's statement is not because she doesn't "get" comics or whatever...

... it's that, when you get right down to it, a story about getting drunk and making a fool of oneself is more universally relateable to your average person than a story about being passionate for something.

Now, at least, that's the idea I had at the time, and I still don't know how true it is. But more and more, I get the distinct impression that most people really aren't passionate about... anything! I guess that's what makes geeks geeks, whether they be for comics, movies, baseball statistics, or magnolias (my mom and step father).

I'm still working on this current hypothesis, but so far, it's holding true. I'd have thought that being passionate about something would have been universal enough to make the "comic store stories" hold up, but more and more, I don't really see your average person get fired up and excited about many things. Is it really just a geek thing? I'm not sure.

I tell ya, though. When I asked that liquor store worker's advice for a good "step up" merlot, you should have seen his eyes. I feel ya, brother.

Comments

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

They all taste "red" to me.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'd have thought if there was anyone on my flist who knew wines, it'd be you.

My palate's not that much more sophisticated, mind you. Shiraz just tasted "dryer, bitterer red" and the Cabernet Sauvignon tasted "not as good a red as the merlot."

And in this weather, I still have to fight the instincts to plunk an ice cube or two in there. Methinks it's about time to make some sangria.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I understand wines, but I don't know them, if that makes any sense.

I know what the flavor components are, and can even take a crack at identifying them.

But I can never remember which ones characterize which red wines. Which is just as well, because I can't really taste the way a wine complements a particular food. I know what I'm looking for. I just don't really ever go, "Wow, this $80 bottle of Cabernet goes with this dish so much better than that one would have."

If I drank a lot more wine I'm sure I'd get to know them, but while I respect and appreciate wine I don't really enjoy it, per se. It's OK, but unless I'm with friends who really desire it I'll just have water instead.

I'm curious to see what happens next week. I'm going to a VERY expensive restaurant, which will be all about wildly experimental cuisine. I'd just as soon not add expensive wine to the cosmically expensive meal. And since the food is so interesting I don't feel the need to add wine to it. So I wonder how they'll feel about just going with water to clear the palate between the many, many dishes.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'd be curious as to the quality of the wine that comes with that very expensive restaurant, as I quickly learned that house wines are to be avoided at all cost. If I'm eating out, it's soda or beer from now on. I just wonder if their normal, inexpensive wine is actually of non-crappy quality. Otherwise, yeah, I wouldn't worry about offending them and just stick with water between your expensive-as-hell-and-hopefully-worth-it dinner.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I'll be posting extensive notes on the dinner after I'm done with it. I'm literally bringing a voice recorder for taking notes.

I'm sure the wine list will be fantastic. The chef is a genius, and this is his little way of showing off.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

ooh - i got a glass of the house Cab when I was at the Chart House last night (we were getting an insanely decadent chocolate dessert) and it was insanely good. I've found that house wines are very good - where have you been that they aren't?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Not very fancy places. Bethesda italian restaurants and Clyde's, mainly. Not good, man. And really, you're the first person I've spoken to since who hasn't echoed the "avoid house wines" theory.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

always made sense to me that a house wine would be as decent as the restaurant could afford to make it. It's likely to be the 2nd cheapest glass of wine and it's going to represent them to anyone looking to drink on a budget, or to anyone who may not recognize the other wines on the list. And it, unlike other wines, is always going to be available by the glass.

I didn't recognize a damn thing on the list last night, so I went with the House wine - not disappointed. Too bad you keep running into bad experiences! I recommend the house wines at Les Halles (DC), the Chart House (Annapolis), Pasta Plus (Laurel), Sardellos (Newport) and one of the steak places in DC but I forget the name. I tend to go with wine for dinner when I'm out someplace nice. So, like once a year , or if someone wants to split a bottle :)

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I'll actually second the "don't necessarily avoid the house wines" - most of the time, it's the best bang you get for the buck, and if you're looking for something that goes well with food, rather than something that stands up well all by itself, you may well be better off with house.

Also, for [entity]'s sake, don't spend $60 on a bottle of Californian that costs $22 at the store. Buy it at the store, and sip it at home, it'll be far more worth it.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I would like to sometime drag you to an eatery I know, which is good for wine-sampling (and has pleasant food as well.)

[jackolantern.livejournal.com]

My favorite liquor store in Memphis, the one that had the big Sputnik-type revolving 3D neon sign, had a couple of cartoons from some wine mag clipped out and affixed by the register. One had two couples double-dating, and the woman whose date was some grotesque, Frankenstein-monster-scarred type was saying to the other woman, "Well, at least he's not a wine geek." The other cartoon had a wine geek holding forth about the qualities of that evening's vintage, about how it was redolent of road tar and pencil shavings, and whatnot, and then pausing for breath and asking his date, "But what do you think?", oblivious of the fact that she's already hung herself, at the table. Merlot goes with everything, AFAIC, which is probably why people like the wine geek in Sideways are so snobby about it.

Your problems with the reception of the monologue on the comics shop reminds me of what I'd call the Watchmen problem: I'd give Watchmen to someone who wasn't into comics because it was so well written, only to find out that many of the reasons why I loved it were really opaque to someone who wasn't into comics.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Man, and here I would have thought being crazy about wine was almost a cultural status symbol of sophistication, when it's just another form of geekery.

I should rewatch SIDEWAYS, perhaps to see how they handle the geeks in a way that was interesting to non-geeks. I mean, the guys were jerks, but as a snob (not THAT bad, and hopefully I never will be) with a couple huge unpublished tomes in my desk, I couldn't be entirely unsympathetic to Paul Giamatti.

I forget, were they so snobby towards or against merlot?

Heck, I've known people who can't even get into comics beyond figuring out how the hell to read the damn things! Popular as WATCHMEN is, I really wouldn't know how any non-comic-reader would react to it, between the medium itself, the fact that they're "superheroes," and Dave Gibbons art, which is not to everyone's tastes.

[jackolantern.livejournal.com]

I forget, were they so snobby towards or against merlot?

Giamatti's character says something, at the outset, like, "There will be no merlot on this trip."

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hey, if I were traveling with him, I'd certainly trust his judgment. Until such time as I'm accompanied by someone who knows what they hell they're doing, I'm doing my best to drink non-crap and fighting the impulses to plunk in an ice cube or two in this hot-as-fuck summer.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

never seen the movie but i seem to remember that Riesling began selling very well after the movie came out. I did, however, go on a tasting (and have the glass to prove it!) at the Blackjack Vineyard, where the movie was filmed.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I found it a remarkable movie for exactly that reason. The characters were astonishingly unsympathetic, but they were compelling anyway. And I usually don't go in for that sort of thing. When you figure it out, let me know.

The exact line was "I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!" Which is odd, because most Bordeaux includes Merlot. He was just ranting about Calfornia merlots, which don't receive the attention to detail that French Merlots get.

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Might I suggest checking out the Luna di Luna reds? Adequately priced and very nice.

[pondering-duck.livejournal.com]

I've never thought about that before but yeah, that is an excellent point.

Passion about books, movies, comics, literature, history, music even the news and politics make someone a geek.

The only exceptions that come to mind is Sports. I suppose one can be a sports Geek if they know all the Football stats of 1959 but I think more "mainstream" people would be impressed or think of it as being a fun quirk rather than true geekdom. Also it would depend on the person. If they look like me they would probably be a geek. If they were a pumped up frat brother they would be a guy.

Passion about clothing might be another exception but more often people are interested in the clothes themselves or the act of shopping rather than sitting around talking about the best designers from the 1930's like we might talk about the best directors or artists. Once again, it may depend on the person. Also, as far as I know, most comic and movie geeks have more interaction with what they love than people who are passionate about clothes.

Then there's religion but that's a whole other story.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

I would recommend a Concha y Toro merlot paired with a well-grilled steak (such that the outside has been caramelized and the innards are fairly red, or pink if you are a wussy). If you can get this served to you on a sword, so much the better. It also goes well with chicken hearts, though in this case the sword is not optional.

Concha y Toro isn't a great wine, but it goes really well with dead things on swords.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Boy, the best such place to go for something like that would be a local fancy Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian churrascaria steakhouse that, I think, serves you nothing but extremely awesome and expensive steak, and will keep on serving it to you until you flip your little table card to "NO FUCKING MORE, I BEG YOU," or whatever it actually says. It looks like swords (or skewers of some manner) are also involved.

Sadly, I don't think I'll ever be going, because it's crazy expensive and a girl I dated once (and who never called me back, for reasons I'll never understand) works there.

I guess I'll just have to find a cow, cut off what I want, and riiiiiide the rest home!

(meeeeeeeat)

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

Oh please, churrasco doesn't need to be dressed up like that. I tell you what, you come to Philly and we'll go to this local place that's $20 a head and apparently excellent and not all that far from my house. It's BYOB, but that adds to the charm, yeah?

Re: (meeeeeeeat)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

We're totally on for that. Sounds like a plan. I'm already looking into the Philly Fringe Festival.

And hey, if it's BYOB, then we'll get a bottle of the Concha y Toro while we're at it.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

Mundanes are only allowed to be passionate about certain things, lest they be found weird. (For instance, sports and vehicles for men, clothes and body-care for women) Geeks, on the other hand, are allowed to be passionate about any old thing they please, but must have at least one "weird" passion for every "mainstream" one just to maintain their geek cred.

Unrelatedly, I don't like merlot (perhaps the only wine that I'm yet to find a single instance of that I dislike), but am very fond of red zinfandel.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Are you free on Sunday night? I need a date to see Reefer Madness. Ticket will be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I think I could do that. I have a date in the early afternoon, but I *should* be free that evening.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Actually, its too late. I waited too long before calling the box office and they are sold out. :(

[justhappynstuff.livejournal.com]

I've gotten to know wine a little bit better this summer (living in St. Michaels, there is a winery within walking distance) and my favorite is called the Gollywobbler. It seriously tastes like alcoholic Juicy Juice. And its supposed to be chilled, so you can succumb to that urge to put an ice cube in it. Mmmm...

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I thought of you yesterday at Trader Joe's. They had a display up of my fav. wine: Sutter Home Muscata. It's $3.99 a bottle and goes down like Snapple.

Mind you, I have no idea if it's 'good' wine or not. That's something I'm still trying to learn for myself. Due to the Snapple comparison, I doubt it - but it's great if you want to enjoy what you're sipping without splurging or hunting to find something smooth.

This fark discussion has been usefull though:
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2554404

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm helping to provoke wine thought! Weird. But mmm, Snapple wine, you just KNOW that's quality! :)