written by the great jjgalahad, not me

[thehefner]

From Brian Michael Bendis' re-imagined BATMAN: YEAR ONE -

"He gave us (I still can't believe I'm saying this) he gave us this, uh, this signal."

"A signal? Fuck! This is a spotlight, Commissioner. A spotlight!! It's a fucking spotlight with- the fuck is that?"

"Well, the thing is- yes and no. Because it's- it's a, well, it's a Batsignal. There's a- just look on the front of it."

"The front- what the fuck? It's a- that a bat? (That's a bat.) That's really a fucking bat. Jesus Christ."

"Yeah, uh-huh. A bat. Because it's his signal. For him. For, for, for Batman."

"Giant fucking spotlight with a Bat on it and we- and we just- Jesus. We're just leaving it on top of the fucking police station!? Jesus, Gordon, that's-"

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Watch it, Harv. Watch it."

". . . okay. Okay, fine."

"Look, I get it. I get it, Harv. Don't think I don't get it, because I get it. He left it here, okay? Not me- him! I wake up one morning, drive to work in my shitty car and- and what do I find? What do I find on the roof of my- fuck!! He leaves it up here and it's- it's a Batsignal. Because he thinks- he thinks we need him. That we need him so bad, that he has to put a giant fucking spotlight-"

"All those- all those belt pockets and he doesn't carry a fucking cell phone? (Really?) C'mon!"

". . . Just turn it on, okay, Harvey? Can you just- can you just turn on the fucking signal and we can- I don't need this. Really. Seriously! Fuck!! Fucking Bat Men! Hookers with whips pissing off the mob so bad that the FBI's about to crawl up my ass sideways! And now this! And I- and I just want to go home! Go home to my mistress and- Fuck!! . . . Just turn on the fucking signal, Harvey."


EDIT: kali921 later summed Brian Michael Bendis up beautifully: "Bendis never met a sentence fragment he didn't like. It's like he jacks off to dangling participles."

I am *so* using that here in the comic store, the next time I have to criticize BMB

Comments

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

"It's like he jacks off to dangling participles."
I snickered.

That's the thing. Bendis, if that sounds like naturalistic dialogue to you, you need to maybe hang out with more people who haven't just railed a month's pay in the last ten minutes.
For some reason, "the fuck is that?" really makes my Grammatical Terrorista sense tingle. It's annoying. It's like, is "WHAT the fuck is that?" really that much harder to say?
But my favouritest part is the parentheses in dialogue. I mean, what?

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

Even though I'm still buying Ultimate Spiderman, this cracked me up :)