thehefner: (Two-Face: Panel by Panel)
[personal profile] thehefner
"Hefner! Hey, man! I still owe you a drawing, don't I? How long's it been, seven years? Yeah. Give it another seven!"
--Frank Cho*


I had just stepped out of the car, having finally found a parking spot in Baltimore, when I realized that Carolyn's arse-kicking first workout had finally caught up with me. I must have looked like Frankenstein's monster in a bowler derby yesterday at the Baltimore Comic Con.



I'm starting to realize just how much conventions are such a strange, multi-layered experience for me. On one hand, it's geek prom, and there's no denying that overwhelming feeling of being in one's element, surrounded by like-minded souls.

On the other hand... well, there's those aforementioned like-minded souls. Namely, that fraction of the comic-reading population who live up to the stereotypes of the Comic Book Guy, physically and mentally. Very physically.

Y'know, I'd love to do a movie set around comic geeks, trying to lovingly jab at them while still celebrating the fandom. The problem is, it's too damn easy for even me to go on about the stereotypes (their physical appearance, their snobbishness, their social awkwardness, their lack of personal hygine**, their bad posture, their lack of fashion sense, how they live in their parents' basement, how they're girlfriend-less virgins***... god, I haven't even started), which would be lazy writing, but sadly, not totally inaccurate. Nonetheless, it kinda irks me when someone like Kevin Smith does a Comic Con "report" for, like, Jay Leno, and spends the whole time mocking and playing up all those stereotypes to the delight of Leno's "normie" audience.

Then again, the less said about the kind of fan who wears a Mooby uniform to a convention... well, the whole thing is a vicious cycle.

Lord knows I know it's not fair to judge a portion of a fandom on said fandom's louder, fatter, smellier contingent. But when you (by which I mean, myself) are already claustrophobic, in a packed convention hall with people who kinda make it even more packed... it can make for a kinda stressful experience.

Also, as a failed comic artist and aspiring writer, conventions are kinda bittersweet. I can't help but marvel (no pun intended) at the skill of cartoonists, how they can seemingly whip together a sketch effortlessly. When I draw (doodle, really), I often have to go back and erase over and over again, constantly tinkering to get it right. Watching these guys fills me with both awe and a twinge of envy from a lost minor dream. Skill with pencil-and-ink is one of the few skills I genuinely long to have, but unlike writing or acting, I just don't have the patience nor the will to study.

(So even still, even with all my other true aspirations pulling together, THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES really getting off the ground... I still can't help but feel a bit jealous and in awe of watching a genuinely talented artist like [livejournal.com profile] berkolounger's star rise, getting a couple shots at the big time which will almost certainly mean the start of a brilliant and well-deserved career for her. You don't know her yet, but I promise you, if she keeps at this, you will. I'm dying to get a Bub and Johnny pin-up from her someday.)

Maybe in there is some reason why I spend most of my money at conventions trying to get original drawings. Sketches are all well and good, but if I have to shell out a bit more for a full drawing, by golly, I'll do it. Of course, the problem here is trying to get to your target artist before his or her schedule is totally booked up for the day. Next time, I'm absolutely going to try to get a drawing from Amanda Connor (who, by the way, is a totally awesome gal and a great artist... anyone who can give real humanity to Power Girl is golden, in my book), and frankly, I was a fool to not even consider hitting up Marty Suydam for a Bub and Johnny drawing. A fool!!

But I did come away with four drawings.

First is by Chris Sprouce, artist of Alan Moore's TOM STRONG, Warren Ellis' OCEAN, and current artist of MIDNIGHTER. He was at the top of my list, specifically because he drew my favorite Two-Face story of all time. He was a very cool guy, and seemed taken aback when I even mentioned the story, which was done about fifteen years ago. He was rushed, and was barely able to finish it as they were closing up the hall, but finish it he did.

(Click on the pictures to enlarge)



Except... that's not exactly right. See, that picture right there? I photoshopped it a bit. Here's the real, actual drawing he gave me.



The artist... of my favorite Two-Face story... drew the scars on the wrong side.

How Hefnerian.

Now, that said, I like [livejournal.com profile] fishymcb's on-the-spot bullshit interpretation: "No, no, you see, that's not just a sketch. It's a mirror. So when you look at it... YOU'RE Two-Face. Oooooo!"

Seriously though, I still like it a great deal. I asked if he could emphasize the Harvey side, which I think he did very nicely. I'd someday love to commission a full portrait of Harvey in his office, with full noir lighting.

The next two drawings I got were of Bub and Johnny Go. It's a rather stressful experience trying to explain Bub and Johnny to these artists, just because I'm terrified that they'll think it's a stupid idea, but so far, no one's ever justified that fear (well, except for Bub's real-life actor Howard Sherman, implicitly).

The first was by Drew Rauch, who also dre-- er, illustrated the portraits of [livejournal.com profile] spacechild and his wife as zombies. It was a pleasure to meet him in person and to have him do a Bub and Johnny. His comic art is kinda like Ben Templesmith's, except I actually like it!



Stylin'. Although Johnny looks kinda creepy and zombie-like himself here, don't you think? The eyeball martini is a grand touch.

The other is from John Lucas, an illustrator for 2000 A.D. and other things who's gotten mainstream inking for CIVIL WAR: FRONT LINE and THE EXTERMINATORS. He was super-friendly, definitely wanting people to come over to his table and schmooze, and so not knowing quite what to expect, I asked him to do a Bub and Johnny.



Niiiiiiice.

But I still wanted a good, big, well-done Two-Face drawing, not just a sketch. Unfortunately, as is hardly surprising, Mike Mingola's line was around the block, and I didn't want to wait just to have him say he's not doing drawings (I doubt he was anyway; he wouldn't have time with all the people wanting to meet him).

The legendary Michael Golden was alone at his table, and so I asked him if he was doing drawings. Very friendlily, he said, "Yes sir, $250 for a full body, $175 for just a head." I nearly had a heart attack then and there. Every other artist I've so far known did drawings for sixty, seventy bucks, at the most. And don't think I still wasn't tempted; this is Michael frickin' Golden, here. But dude, unless you're Will Eisner returned from the grave, I don't think I can shell out that kinda dough.

So knowing I had little time to find another available artist, I decided to settle on Tommy Lee Edwards, artist of DC's THE QUESTION, Marvel's BULLET POINTS and covers for Brubaker's DAREDEVIL. He was an intimidating guy, very burly with an "American Chopper" 'stache, and every time I came up to his table to talk to him when he was, he'd sllllloooowly turn around to look at me in a way that I cannot fully describe as anything other than "who... dares?"

He said he charged 80 bucks. That's also pretty steep in my book, but I said okay, awesome. Again, I wasn't sure what to expect. When I picked up the drawing later, I thought, "Hey, cool," paid him, and went to put it in my car. As I walked, I kept studying the picture. At first glance, I thought, "huh, okay, that's all right, I guess." It may be unsurprising that I'm very discerning when it comes to my idea of what makes a good Two-Face.

But then I really started to look at this drawing. Especially studying the body language, the use of shadow and gray tones, and it just really sunk in. Even if my scanner weren't crappy as fuck, and even if it weren't so small that I had to crappily crop it together here... you still couldn't fully convey what it's like to see this thing in your hands. It's like a a serious of violent slashes that somehow come together to create a person.



Hopefully, some measure of that picture's quality is apparent. Man oh man, that might well be my crown jewel convention drawing so far, displacing my Michael Lark Two-Face (wow, I have Harvey Dent drawings by the covers AND interior artist of DAREDEVIL).

The other major highlight of the show was meeting [livejournal.com profile] dryponder, who I totally didn't expect to see at all! He's not just a hell of an artist, whose work I admire simply because I have a deep-seated love for artists who can find elegance in simplicity (Alex Toth and David Mazzucchell particularly)... but he's also the brains behind Project Rooftop, the site that offers tasteful redesigns of superhero costumes. He was unsurprisingly a great guy, and I very much look forward to getting a drawing from him someday.

Oh, and it's worth pointing out, Project Rooftop held the costume contest that [livejournal.com profile] bloo_mountain and I won 2nd Runner Up for our Joker and Harley costumes! Hopefully my Two-Face costume shall similarly impress. Still, I imagine it would go a lot better if I had a Typhoid Mary. Ooh! 30's noir Typhoid Mary? Mmmm! Now there's an idea! As much as I deeply and fully love Alex Maleev's redesign of Typhoid Mary's outfit, I'd prefer trying to do something decidedly different with whoever should be my accompanying two-faced psycho.

But that's another subject entirely. The convention was a rich experience, as usual. And also as usual, I'm all the richer in soul and poorer in pocketbook for it. Hopefully, someday, I will have a booth of my own, selling Bub and Johnny Go comics and performing Hefner Monologues about being an occasionally self-loathing comic book geek. "I'm one of you! I just don't want to BE all of you!"

And one of these days... oh yes, one of these days... I WILL get a Frank Cho drawing of Bub and Johnny Go.


*He said it very friendlily, mind you; I discovered that he's owed his mother a portrait for about ten years, and at least she's gotten smart enough to stop asking.

**Bathing and deodorant, people. It's not that hard.

***Except many, if not the majority, actually do seem to have mates. Damn it, I know there are some cute comic geek girls at these conventions who are 1.) of legal age, and 2.) are single, but even if I could FIND them, I wouldn't know what to DO. Argh!

I think you're going to the wrong con.

Date: 2007-09-09 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
I think that you're going to the wrong con. If you look at [livejournal.com profile] nique's journal, she's put up links to two photosets from Dragon*Con, and the COSTUMES! Someone did a damn good Harvey, too! Everyone's attractive, not horrendously overweight, and appears clean. Every year that I see pics from Dragon*Con, I wind up thinking that man, fandom is pretty attractive.

So, wait, you want to do Typhoid Mary, or have someone else dress up like her to accompany a Harvey?

Also, those sketches are amazing. I know that Chris Sprouse did something that I love, but the for LIFE of me I can't remember what it was.

Re: I think you're going to the wrong con.

Date: 2007-09-09 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Yeah, the only cosplayers at this one were a bunch of great Star Wars costumes, and an excellent schoolgirl Hellboy.

But I dunno, that Two-Face looks like he's had one too many burritos from that Mexican restaurant where the photo was taken. ;)

I very much want a sexy ladyfriend to be a Typhoid Mary to my Two-Face, just as Bloo was the Harley to my Joker. Especially now that I'm totally wondering what a 30's noir Typhoid Mary would look like...

If I had time, I would have totally had Karl Story (Sprouce's inker) ink the Harvey drawing. Maybe next time.

Re: I think you're going to the wrong con.

Date: 2007-09-10 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fishymcb.livejournal.com
He probably is going to the wrong con...this IS Baltimore, after all. (And I'm a born and raised Baltimoron here, so I speak from the heart.)

Date: 2007-09-09 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adaptor.livejournal.com
I am so jealous! Dangit, you're making me want to dust off the Screenwriting Expo admission discount I just trashed this morning!

You would love the screenwriting expo. I knew I'd fallen into something holy mother of pearl weird unusual when the first person I talked to about it upon my arrival in LA (someone I shared a van from the airport with) said she comes every year but when I asked how many screenplay's she's written said 'None. It's just a really interesting convention.'

There's no such thing as a huge-@ss playwrighting convention so I'd love to see Screenwriting Expo take some of that in. (They do television as well, might as well go for the hat trick.) And the Expo takes the business side of writing (marketing yourself, finding and making contacts, pitching your work) extremely seriously. Boston University did that too, but I get the feeling that's one of the things that made it special. I suspect many writing programs spend most of their time teaching you how to wuv your work and neglect teaching people how to survive in showbusiness. So it's a really valuable weekend even if you don't need character or plot development courses.

(And it's hella cheap for such a good con. Dangit! Now I really want to go!)

Curse you Richards Hefner!

Date: 2007-09-09 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
The way you describe it, it actually does sound interesting. But man, I can also just imagine the bad blood and frustration of the studio's greenlighting all these crappy movies and sequels, especially when they have literally GAZILLIONS of unproduced screenplays on piles somewhere.

Man, if you can, you should go! Or is it going on now? Or is it far away?

Date: 2007-09-09 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adaptor.livejournal.com
There's not really much bad blood. Unproduced screenplays are just as likely to be bad as produced ones (maybe even a bit more so) so we know we don't really have a leg to stand on, there.

(Or as one of my fav expo speakers put it: "If we knew how to only make good movies, we'd only make good movies!')

It's just one of those things where even if you're taking a chance on something with no built in audience (no tie-in, not a sequal) there's just so many chefs in the kitchen and for such a long gestation period that most movies wind up like camels; they were going to be a horse, but they were built by committee.

Still, the Expo is where I got to first meet W.C. Martell, who as a teacher, a screenwriter, and as a person, is entirely constructed out of awesome.

I *should* go. But I'm paying off my car this year and hoping to take a trip to NY to put in some face time with the Juilliard admissions people. Bah. Humbug.

Date: 2007-09-10 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dryponder.livejournal.com
hey thanks, dude. it was nice meeting you in person! :)

Date: 2007-09-10 02:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
I mean it sincerely. Also, did you know that John Gallagher gave me my first and so far only comic work when I was, like, sixteen or seventeen? I actually have that story in BUZZBOY vol. 2!

In the grand family of that booth, with all the characters on that poster you guys were signing, I guess that makes me, like, your your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Date: 2007-09-10 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spacechild.livejournal.com
Drew is a great guy, isn't he?

Did he even charge you for the sketch?

I think it's terrific, absolutely spot on. I think what you see as a touch zombie-ish, I just see as the crazy in Johnny Go. Just my thought.

Date: 2007-09-10 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
No, he didn't! And what he drew was way more than just a sketch! Great guy, I bought all four issues of his book. Haven't read 'em yet, tho.

Date: 2007-09-10 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spacechild.livejournal.com
Yeah, i love his work, and he is a really nice guy too.

did you get the Sullen Grey books? They are pretty good.

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