Movie Ramblings Part 2: The A.V. Club Edition

[thehefner]

First, happy birthday reazik!



The Onion's A.V. Club has become one of my favorite entertainment sites. It nicely bridges the gap between b-movie geekery fandom sites like CHUD and Ain't It Cool News with the elitest indie snobbery of the Washington CityPaper, and other such free city indie newspapers. Of course, that doesn't mean I agree with everything they say, but they're usually entertaining and insightful, which is all I ask.

I'm currently addicted to their biweekly feature My Year in Flops, in which the head reviewer watches 150 or so flops, bombs, and utter financial disasters, analyzing them with a combination of snark and genuine understanding to figure out what went wrong, and if the film actually had merit or truly deserved its failure status. Along the way, he's celebrated and championed personal favorites of mine, such as PENNIES FROM HEAVEN and THE FOUNTAIN. Here are snippets of my favorite entries so far:

ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU: For in my entry on Missouri Breaks, I proposed what I call The Great Gazoo Theory: that sometime in the mid-‘70s Brando began taking marching orders from the Great Gazoo, the tiny, effeminate green alien only Fred Flintstone could see. For example, Brando’s behavior on the set of The Score is wholly understandable if you imagine The Great Gazoo hovering over Brando’s ear and whispering “Hey dum-dum, if you really want to show that Frank Oz fool what’s what, call him Miss Piggy and refuse to talk to him. That’ll show him”.

THE CAT IN THE HAT: I have compiled a list of ironclad laws and restrictions regarding art I collectively like to call “Georgia Rules.” Don’t ask me why. I just think it has a nice ring to it. My first Georgia Rule: the words “rape,” “fascist,” and “Nazi” all belong behind glass imprinted with the stern warning “Break Only In Case of Emergency.” With that in mind, I’d like to discuss a fascist film made by Nazis that totally raped my childhood: 2003’s The Cat In The Hat...

THE POSTMAN: Before being pleasantly shocked by The Postman’s non-shitty-osity, I planned to irreverently propose a third and climactic entry in what I would lovingly dub the post-apocalyptic “What the fuck was Kevin Costner thinking?” trilogy. In keeping with the constantly ballooning gigantism of the series, it’d be a four-hour long, $400 million sci-fi epic in which Costner would play a poo-eating man-goat who must defeat an evil two-headed kangaroo-man played by Ice-T and Christopher Walken in order to save a world that has been reduced to a damp, nightmarish swamp by excessive cellphone use. It’d be called Swampiverse. Costner’s ornery, telekinetic (did I mention his character is telekinetic?) man-goat would be introduced eating his own poo and strangling an orphan. It’d pretty much go downhill from there. I realize it doesn’t make much sense for goat-men or two-headed kangaroos to live in a swamp but hey, is that really any more preposterous than anything in Waterworld or The Postman?



The A.V. Club also recently did a list on 24 Great Films Too Painful to Watch Twice. (which is where I found WHEN THE WIND BLOWS)

I admit, I haven't seen most of the films on this list, but I have to be amazed by how many people are so upset and disturbed by REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. Now, maybe it's my general personal lack of sympathy for addicts in the abstract, and maybe it's the fact that I've fallen in love with the REQUIEM theme for grand, over-the-top battle music... but really, I watch REQUIEM as a big ol' black comedy, a grand guignol in the tradition of TITUS. I just don't see the tragedy in these people, "heartbreakingly fragile" as the Onion calls them, towards whom I am frankly not sympathetic.

Similarly, it sounded like the reviewers couldn't even stand to watch UNITED 93 to review it. It read like they just assumed, based on what they'd read elsewhere, that it was one of those films. And y'know, I bet it is, for everyone else. spacechild and I just watched it recently, because no one else wanted to watch it with me, and it was damn good. We survived. We're all good. It was a downright excellent film, and honestly, for the sheer expertise of the film, I wouldn't mind seeing it again, maybe with director's commentary.

Clearly, there's something very wrong with me. But then, my favorite Shakespeare play is KING LEAR. I guess I'm just a sucker for a good heart-wrenching tragedy, if there art and a strange cousin of beauty behind it all.

Comments

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

Wasn't UNITED 93 about one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

No, it's the one that didn't reach its target on 9/11. While that may issue knee-jerk reactions for you as much as anybody else, I urge you to at least read this:

http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=news&id=6508

Which is what made me finally track the film down. In fact, this wasn't the only review to say that it reminded them of a zombie movie. Watching it, oh my god, it totally was, in a way. And I mean that in the best, most respectful way possible.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I'm particularly fond of their Commentary Tracks of the Damned column.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

As do I, my friend. As do I.

Those reviewers are braver men than I.

[jackolantern.livejournal.com]

Requiem For A Dream probably disturbs people because it doesn't show the main character cleaning up and going into recovery, the way that almost every other movie about drunks or junkies does, regardless of the source material. (See The Basketball Diaries, for example, but not before reading Jim Carroll's book first.) But I can also understand the black comedy reaction; as Nathan Rabin pointed out in his review of Basic Instinct 2, you can see way wackier shit on the Internet these days, so the "ass to ass" scene seems almost funny in a sick sort of way. Also, Ellen Burstyn tweaking.

Having seen neither of the first two entries in the post-apocalyptic “What the fuck was Kevin Costner thinking?” trilogy, I think that I would still pay cash money to see Swampiverse.

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

Ummm, I feel bad/great now... Keith David for some reason disarms the movie for me as well.

Im hitting one of those film walls too, Hef... Kurosawa's Ikiru. I've had to take it in 25 min bites (and it's not all that offensive or disturbing) just something about it doesn't make me want to finish it. But "it's Akira Kurosawa, I must finish it or give up you International Film Society Card"

I have Flight 93 on my queue mainly because I loved Sunday Bloody Sunday.

AV Club is teh goodness.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, that's what I'm saying! Read the Onion how so many people say ASS TO ASS depressed and horrified them, and yet... it's Keith David on top of it all... I just can't take it seriously. And the fridge ate her. Seriously, man.

I have IKIRU on loan, but I haven't seen it yet. I fucking love love love RAN and DREAMS, but was underwhelmed by THE DEAD SLEEP WELL, the original corporate version of Hamlet. I fear to hear this about IKIRU as well, but I may yet give it a sporting chance.

Do let me know what you think of UNITED 93. But *not* FLIGHT 93, that's a made-for-TV film, not the Paul Greengrass film!

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

Why the hell did I write Flight 93? Naw, meant the Greengrass one...

Don't let my current viewing habit with IKIRU put you off... I really can't put my finger on why I've been taking it in pieces (maybe a little claustrophobic for me.)

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

I don't know that I would much want to watch United 93 again, but I enjoyed it when we saw it.

You know me, I'm up for damn near anything.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I tell ya, man... if I ever need to write zombie apocalypse stories, I'd want to start by watching UNITED 93 again. It really gets one in the mood. I wrote up a scene for Bub and Johnny Go that very night that's... well, it's harsh, man. Romero/Kirkman harsh.

But dude, you watched it once. That's more than perhaps anyone else on my entire friends' list could say.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

I think that more to the point, I was willing!

None of that "It's too soon" stuff for me.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Ice-T played a kangaroo-man in a movie once. I have it.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That was the film that introduced me to Malcolm McDowell. I love it for that alone.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's terrible. But he was a rock star, like usual.
My friend-who-is-more-like-an-adopted-older-sister's boyfriend (now husband) got it for me when I was twelve in a transparent attempt to buy my approval. Then he lent me a huge box of early-nineties comics like "Lobo" and "The Maxx". The guy knows how to treat a lady.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

And that's some actual quality stuff from the Dark Age 90's, to boot!

Would that more women could be swept off their feet with boxes of comics.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Tank Girl!

[lairdofdarkness.livejournal.com]

Personally liked Requiem and would happily watch it again. Very clever portrayal of the highs and lows of drugs and a non-hollywood ending, which was unexpected. Havent seen UNITED 93 though. I have a weird feeling watching something that has happened to people whose relatives are still alive. Same feeling I got when watching the Perfect Storm. I was really enjoying the movie until the ending and I just thought it was horrible to show those things. Yes we all know what happened but I just felt it was a wee bit disrespectful to the families.
I do value your opinions though and as I still have Sky movies for a week or so, I will check UNITED 93 out (I think its on their rotation). Will let you know sir.
Also I know you liked THE FOUNTAIN and I wondered if you had read the Graphic Novel? I did recently and it has made me even more determined to see the film.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Bear in mind, UNITED 93 was made with the express involvement and approval of every single family member. Paul Greengrass said he wouldn't have made it otherwise. It's incredibly respectful, while not whitewashing or deifying those people as anything other than human beings.

Please do!

I read the graphic novel first, actually! Didn't quite know what to make of it. Frankly, I was just interested in the idea of a filmmaker having this deeply personal, passionate project, and saying, "You know what? If after six years I still can't get this made, then at least I'll do a slightly different version as a graphic novel!" That struck me as very cool. And it is different. More like different perspectives to the same story.

The movie had one very important factor that the comic never could, though: the soundtrack by Clint Mansell (REQUIEM FOR A DREAM) and Mogwai.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

No birthday shout out for me?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Forgive me, I was crazed and spaced, and by the time I remembered, it felt like bad form to post a belated one. I suppose I should have done it anyway.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Frankly? Totally honestly? Yeah, it would have felt nice if you had acknowledged it in some small way, because the total ignoring it did hurt my feelings, as I told you. Especially given the amount of love I've poured out on my LJ for you consistently in the past.

It's very distancing, to be honest, along with other things.