And you can take that to the LAKE!

[thehefner]

I... it...

Until ten minutes ago, I had never heard of the band Europe, nor their hit song "The Final Countdown."

Dear sweet fucking lord. I need to film a montage to that song. Perhaps for a film about a 1987 gamer training mind, body, and soul for a Mega Man 2 death-match tournament. It'd be like a combination of a Bruce Lee/Van Damme flick, KARATE KID, and THE WIZARD.

I can't stop laughing as I listen to this song. I can't. It's utter brilliance.


Seriously, in terms of pure montage potential, it's up there with "Gonna Fly Now," "Eye of the Tiger," "Push it to the Limit," and the downright brilliant fake trailer for the PUNCH-OUT! movie.

Which reminds me: old-school NES fans, rejoice. The PUNCH-OUT guys have returned.

With CONTRA.

Not as utterly fantastic as PUNCH-OUT, but I anxiously await their new offerings. GIVE HIM ZE UPPERCUT! ZE UPPERCUT!!!



Finally, CRACKED continues to inexplicably prove itself as a must-read website with features like the following:

The Five Biggest Badass Popes.

The Six Most Terrifying Foods in the World

And once again, for the sake of posterity: Introducing the Larry Holmes Grillmaster XL. Which I still cannot read with a straight face.

Comments

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

What rock have you been living under, exactly?

Never heard "The Final Countdown"?

BTW, since we're talking about Europe, they also had a hideous monster ballad titled "Carrie". If you think I didn't put that on a mix CD for Carrie while we were dating, you don't know me very well.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

This is what happens when I focus my life on reading comics and watching Herzog movies. I sometimes miss the important things.

HAHAHA, I'm gonna have to listen to "Carrie" once I piece my brain back together from the awesome.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

WHAT!?!?!?! How old are you, child?!

Good grief.

Ok, I couldn't identify Dire Straits the other day and caught hell for that, but WHAT?!?!

Oh yea, that is a TOTAL '80's song. Just wonderful.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Now, I do know my classic rock, don't get me wrong. I'm rather well-versed in that area, and I adore New Wave music. When they invent SYNTHESIZER HERO, I will never leave my house. But hair bands, not at all. They do nothing for me, normally.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

Now I have no idea what Synthesizer Hero is but believe me when I tell you THOSE people knew the Final Countdown.

I have it paying in my head right now...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

SYNTHESIZER HERO is the video game that will happen right before COWBELL HERO.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

EEEE.
Save me from Swedish Hair Bands.
Zombies I can take.
Vampires I can stake.
Those guys? Terrifying.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I knew that if ANYone could appreciate this post, it'd be you.

Must. Make. Montage.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

You've never heard "The Final Countdown"?
But "it's not a trick, it's an illusion!"

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I am sheltered (perhaps if only to preserve my sanity) where hair bands are concerned, what can I say?

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I kid, I only know because my brother's a huge "Arrested Development" fan and it's kind of a running gag.

[jellied.livejournal.com]

What the fuck, Hef?! Seriously.

E even has it as her ringtone-- and that's saying something.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

One more time, hair bands are NOT my thing! I kinda avoid them! Like, the plague, I do!

I cannot stress this enough. I am a movie and comic geek. But music-wise, I have my very own particular tastes and interests.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. I was getting ready to say that I haven't heard "The Final Countdown" either.

Then I actually clicked on the link you provided. I have heard it, but I knew neither the name of the song nor the name of the band. And for he most part I've heard the opening/recurring "da-da-DA-da / da-da-DA-da-da" as opposed to the whole thing.

And while I don't have a devotion to hair bands, I don't outright avoid them either. *pokes around* Damn, I never ripped any Poison to listen to here in the office. I'll have to remedy that tomorrow.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Loved the article about the food. Thank you. Really.

I've actually had the lutefisk. I saw it in the local grocery store. It's kind of tasteless, actually; you're supposed to rinse off all the lye.

As for the sheep's head, I saw that my local halal market carries it. But the sign specifically says it comes without the brain. Whether they're reserving that for some delicacy of their own, or because they're afraid of you turning into some sort of sheep zombie (baaaaaaah-rains) they wouldn't say. At least not in English.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

It's probably so as to not open themselves up to risk of a scrapies-infected sheep's brain causing problems upon being consumed.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You are very welcome. That Pope article might also interest you.

Yeah, I read that to Mom, and she said that Gordon loves lutefisk. Christ.

By the way, have you read the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen books? I'm halfway through the brand-new one, and keep thinking that people like you and Jaki would get special kicks out of them, if only for how they're constructed. For example, they reveal that Prospero founded the original League, which is recounted in the snippet of Shakespeare's uncompleted final play, FAERIE'S FORTUNES FOUNDED. The characters also include two Toby/Andrew type gatekeepers, Masters Shytte and Pysse.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I haven't read LXG, and I hear I need to. Maybe I should just watch the movie instead...

Just kidding.

The Pope article was pretty cool. I heard stories of JP2 spending time as a sniper in WW II, but they seem to be unfounded. He was an actor, though.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You're a monster.

But seriously, I think that if nothing else you'll get a kick out of the series' general cleverness. I'm personally a huge sucker for artists who play with form. I'm about to buy the annotations (Part III are online and will be published soon) and reread the whole lot, because Alan Moore is a far bigger nerd than I ever could be.

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

Ikari Warriors!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

MADE OF AWESOME

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

What?! That's like, the #2 montage song in the history of EVER! How have you not heard it?! Europe used to open and close their concerts with it! I'm only 20 and I know that! You have me abusing exclamation points!

...!!!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Clearly, I have failed at life and everything.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

I have a co-worker who grew up in the Philippines. I showed her that "Terrifying Foods" article and she laughed and pointed out that she may have eaten balut as a child, but I've witnessed a man consume a drink that contained a severed human toe.

Philippines: 1. Canada: 0.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

*shudder* Hold me.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

You say that now, but will you still respect me in the morning?



(To be fair, he didn't actually consume the toe, just the alcohol the toe was in.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Respect don't enter into it where toe wine is involved.

Now shaddup and get cuddlin'.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

Toe whiskey!


*cuddles*

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I prefer toe tequila. It's more phonetically pleasing!

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

I do enjoy a man who appreciates proper alliteration.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

And sixteen minutes of hard contemplation later, it's clear that I've used up my alliteration mana for the night.

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

... why must you tempt me with such a perfect lead-in for the making of dirty puns?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'm very good at such things. I leave myself wide open and leave others to pick up their cues.

Of course, if it goes bad, I can always put the blame on them, ultimately. It's win-win. ;p

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

Such a charmer ;)

Well, I'll trust that the fact that I greatly enjoy flirting with cute performers doesn't make you ridiculously uncomfortable, then.

(Psst: if it does, no worries, I'm quite comfortable just nerding it up about comics and whatnot, too.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yes, well, it's been said that I do have the "Hef" buried somewhere in me, underneath the layers of big flaming arms-flailing geek.

(Psst: if it does, no worries, I'm quite comfortable just nerding it up about comics and whatnot, too.)

A happy combination of the two is my personal favorite.

Ah Cracked

[the-mithril-man.livejournal.com]

My fav has to be The 7 Most Easily Escapable Movie Monsters (http://www.cracked.com/article_15634_7-most-easily-escapable-movie-monsters.html). "Here's seven monsters that anyone with working legs and the IQ of a well-trained Dalmatian could escape."

Re: Ah Cracked

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! That's...

... they think THE THING, Michael Myers, and Jason Voorhees are easily esacapable monsters?

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Why don't they just mention Freddy, and go, "Psh, drink coffee, no big!"

(also, how dare they use the remake Leatherface?! Bah!)

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

Dunno quite why, but this whole shocking moment reminded me of Deichkind.