And I quote: "ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD...STRAIGHT GUYS DON’T LIKE MUSICALS." --Jaycee5, fandango.com

[thehefner]

As a long-time BABYLON 5 fan, I was excited to finally, finally, check out the brand-new B5 direct-to-DVD movie THE LOST TALES.

...

I wish I could get my martinis to be that dry.

Sigh. I mean, lord knows J. Michael Straczynski has his hits and misses, and B5 was certainly indicative of that. Although after HEROES, I don't know if I could possibly defend B5's acting and writing often times were I to revisit the series today. Nonetheless, it earned a close place in my heart, especially when Sci-Fi was showing it back to back with FARSCAPE, which is still one of my favoritest favorite TV shows ever that I wish more people watched.

But man oh man, space opera on a low budget... geez. I feel like I just dragged my face on the ground for the past hour and a half.

I have hope that the next B5 movie (c'mon, Garibaldi and Mollari!) will be a marked improvement, but for a first effort... yipes. I've seen video game cutscenes with more life.



And to make matters worse, SWEENEY TODD is not doing well at the box office. Sure, I have my problems with the movie, and it's hardly matching my frustration of GRINDHOUSE's bombing. But I'm disappointed nonetheless.

Seriously, I don't get why some people hate musicals. Just blanket-hate all musicals, no matter the type (because all musicals are the same, clearly). I had hoped to maybe get some insight into this mindset by reading the reviews at fandango.com, but that was a little like repeatedly punching myself in the balls.

And I quote: "I love Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movies 1st of all. Great Cinematography, I like the story concept, but its a FREAKING MUSICAL! I mean literally there is about 5 minutes of TOTAL regular dialogue. Im sorry Im not into that Gone With The Wind sing-a-long hokey pokey. Singing is started for the moment the movie is started till the end....LITERALLY!"

Ugh. Message boards are vile hives of scum and villainy. You'd think I'd learn.

I just wanted a bit more appreciation for the form, and for Sondheim in particular. But it seems between the music and the gore (and oh, wow, is there ever gore, more than I was expecting) word of mouth is going to very much work against this film, in some respects.

Again, I have my problems with the film. But come on, that more people are flocking to NATIONAL TREASURE 2 and ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS... you feel my pain on that count at least, right?



Ah well, at least SPIDER-MAN 2 is on TV. As long as I can muscle my way through the Kirsten Dunst scenes, I'll be golden.

After all, at times like this, you gotta do as Johnny Go says, and "Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive."

Comments

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Don't get to frustrated with the 'fools and plebians.' After all, it's just too dern easy to confuse Kurt Weill and Tim Rice.

"Im sorry Im not into that Gone With The Wind sing-a-long hokey pokey."

I'll never not enjoy this.

"Atlaaanta's alive, with the smell of buuuuurniiiiing!
Those old houses that stoooood, for a hundred yeaaaaaars.
The smoke fills my luuuuungs, with the sting of aaaashes.
My chest wants to burst; every breath, it seaaaaaaaaaars."

I sense I've just discovered what my friend's and I will be writing this New Year's.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, nooooooo, if you write that, then you're retroactively make this guy slightly less of an asshat!

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I think his ass-haberdashery credentials are already well-established.

I meant to call you from Chicago... and then couldn't figure out which incoming call was from your phone(this new learning amazes me. Explain to me again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes).

It's a great city, if you haven't been. :-)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've been. Chicago is not only the home of the Hefners, but two of my ex-girlfriends are there. I keep meaning to take them both out for a delightfully awkward dinner together! Hey, if it ever gets too harsh, I know we can always talk about Harvey Dent as a safe topic.

Call me again at some point anyway. Even tonight, if you feel up for it, but no worries otherwise, I have work that should get done. I've lost your number and really need to just add it into my directory.

Devil in the White City

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Ah, so the mysterious silence is not so mysterious.

I would call tonight but we host Christmas Eve at my house and while my family is tops at not dirtying things we're not so great at cleaning things that sneak in without our noticing (aka, dust. The Magisterium would take one step into this house and faint).

Re: Devil in the White City

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Wait, mysterious silence, wot?

Are you saying that you think I tried to call you recently, or you just tried to call me for no particular reason? I am confoozled now.

And ah, but of course! Merry Christmas to you and yours then. But only after you clear up my confusion!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I know I said bad things before about "Sweeney Todd", but the fact that more people are going to see "National Treasure 2" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks" makes me sad.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, I knew that even you would back me up on that.

My loud-sex-havin' tenant's annoying mohter, the one I've complained about in the past... she came down yesterday to tell me how she couldn't wait to see ALVIN. She thought the washing machine scene in the trailer was hi-larious.

[cisic.livejournal.com]

There are two things that I hate.

Okay, more than that, but two things that I hate which are germane to your post.

When people blanket say "I hate musicals" or "I hate showtunes."

When people blanket say "I hate Shakespeare."

These two statements MEAN NOTHING. Except that the person purporting them is an idiot. I mean, you cannot in a knowledgeable way hate all showtunes. It's not the same as hating a specific genre of music, because showtunes encompass all types of music. Cats is not Oklahoma is not Spring Awakening is not Sweeney Todd.

And you can't hate Shakespeare because Shakespeare IS theatre. Comedy, tragedy, witty, bawdy, violent, poetic, the man freaking did it all. But that's another whole can of worms.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY! Same thing with the Shakespeare hate. But especially the musical-hate, because it's so ill-definied. I mean, okay, I politely took one person to task on it, and he said that he just doesn't like music period. Hasn't bought a CD in years. Ohhhhhh-kay, fine, I... guess I'll allow that...?

But otherwise, yeah. Man, just really ticks me off. But the worst part is what can you do about it? There's nothing you can say!

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

I saw the rankings of the movies this weekend and almost started smashing things. Seriously. The trailers of National Treasure 2 make me want to DIE of the cheese when I haven't even seen a trailer on TV for Sweeney, and NT2 is raking in as much in its first weekend than Golden Compass has up until now? The merit of the books alone should have garnered more than that. It goes number one nationwide when Atonement and Juno are still held back at limited release? Come the fuck on, man!

Then again, Nicolas Cage? Frightens me. Extensively.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

How about Nicolas Cage back when he was good? Back in his RAISING ARIZONA days? Or even FACE/OFF?

GOLDEN COMPASS at least has the bump of being (ostensibly) a children's movie. If it weren't, it'd be doing a lot worse, I'd warrant.

I keep hearing mixed about JUNO. By which I mean, I keep hearing it's fucking excellent or that it's fucking overrated (perhaps potentially this year's LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE/NAPOLEON DYNAMITE). Have you seen it yet?

Well, between the musical element and the serious gore factor, I was prepared for SWEENEY to get hit hard. Still...

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

...I haven't seen those. I've only ever seen him suck.

It's a children's movie that's rated PG-13 and is battling the worst "anti-christian" hype I've ever seen. [sigh]

Yeah, I keep hearing that too. I haven't seen it yet; I figure I'll keep an open mind until I do. I never saw (and have no desire to ever see) Napoleon Dynamite; LMS was good but I have to be in the right mood, and it never really got to me the way it apparently got to the rest of the world.

To be honest, I figured Depp had the Midas Touch these days - that with anyone else in the role they'd have trouble, but with him they'd have a smash. Although I also hear it's not totally full release yet, so.

Re: Devil in the White City

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

I mean that you hadn't called in a bit, just the sort of thing losing my number can lead to.

/here, dusty dusty dusty

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Well, if nothing else, I can damn well near promise you that you will love RAISING ARIZONA. Cage has only recently used up the assload of good will his involvement in that film rightly earned him.

I just meant that ND/LMS comparison possibility by saying it's the big unoffensive quirky indie film that mainstream audiences can see and feel smart for having seen an indie movie.

Gore and singing: a box office's worst nightmare. Not even teh hotness (nor talent, but since when has talent put asses in seats?) is any match for that, not when big dumb escapist fare is your other option. I think they're holding off on wide release in case it pulls a CHICAGO and spreads like crazy word of mouth.

Re: Devil in the White City

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ha! Well, throw in stress and drama and work and you have a Heffie with little social life as it is. Also, the long-distance phone charges on weekdays. You know how it is.

And don't think you can pull "dust" lines on my just yet. I had only just last month read GOLDEN COMPASS, and as I haven't started the other two, I don't feel qualified to be in the joke as of yet.

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

Plz 2 be telling me y ppl are so stoopid.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Honey, if I could tell you... well, I don't suppose it would do me any better if I actually knew why. I blame the public schools. ;p

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

Well I went to private school, and we all know how that turned out.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Me too! Run by well-meaning but often ineffectual old ex-hippies.

Hey, let's be snotty and look down at the public school kids! On second thought, no, the reason I went to private school for grades 9-12 was because I was tired of getting beaten up in public school.

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

I for one, loved the Gone With the Wind dance number where General Sherman's troops did the piroutttes over the flames.
I have yet to see Sweeney Todd, hopefully after Christmas. Happy Holidays to you!

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

Sissy. Mine was run by preppy uptight angry chicks, although back then the teachers were good.

And frankly, public school might have been LESS dangerous for me. I was very much a fade-into-the-background type. And again, I went to the school that Mean Girls was based on. It doesn't get much scarier than Lindsay Lohan.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think you win. By which I mean, you lose.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

But then La Resistance burst in for a climactic chess match between the Phantom and the cats. I fucking love Margaret Mitchell.

And to you!

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

Eh, it built character. Or at least makes for a shiny purple (like a bruise!) heart, so to speak.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll take my coddling hippies, thank you very much. Even though they forbade typed papers until 11th grade and made me do eurythmy. Don't ask.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

For all my bitching, "Sweeney Todd"'s not a bad movie. It's not how I'd have done it, or wanted to see it done, but it's well-made and enjoyable. However, I feel totally safe in saying "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is shit without seeing it.

[fragmentedsky.livejournal.com]

I wasn't coddled, but despite going to what was one of the top 20 Ivy League feeder schools, I still learned almost everything from home:

Mom: Molly asked what a [?? - some random obscure airplane part] was. Why can't my children ask normal questions?
Me: Like "Where do babies come from?"
Dad: L.L. Bean.
Molly: You gave me that talk when I was like, 12, and already knew how it worked.
Me: I don't think I ever got that talk. I picked it up from books or something.
Mom: Yes, you did. You were traumatized.
Me: I don't remember that!
Mom: It was back when we lived in Woodley Park. Probably when I was pregnant with Molly.
Me: You gave me that talk when I was FOUR?!?
Mom: You may have repressed the memory.
Me: [dry] So where do babies come from?
Dad: [absently, not looking up from his menu] eBay.

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the dramatic helicopter evac scene after the checkmate is reached (sans controversial casting of Englishman in an Southeast Asian role...)