that probably explains why there was no second date

[thehefner]

So I recently realized what may have gone wrong with my attempts to court the cute hippie chick. Having her over to my house wasn't the biggest mistake, nor was my decision to show her THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. And I know many of you are rolling your eyes at that one, but no, it wasn't as stupid a choice as it might seem. I chose it for a very good reason that pertained to her interests! I just don't remember exactly why. But that's all besides the point.

No, I think the main flub of the evening came when we were on my bed, watching the movie and getting close, and I noticed she had a tear in her jeans. This particular tear was way, wayyyy up at the very top of her legs, an inch or so higher than Daisy Dukes would be, had they been cut off all the way. You know, a tear that revealed a nice window to her butt.

So in an attempt to be witty and flirty, I pointed to the tear, smiled, and remarked:

"I like your butt hole."

...

It was weeks before I realized what I said.

Clearly, I need to work that into a story. I just don't know where.

Comments

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's a hell of a compliment/consolation prize.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I consider Love and Death one of the pinnacles of Woody Allen's storied career. So yes, that's a compliment.

It's time for lessons. I think you should invest in some of John Grey's books, and LET ME TRANSLATE THEM FOR YOU. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Look, man, I've given you girl intel before, stuff that girls don't usually tell guys about how to woo the opposite sex, and clearly the message isn't getting through. It's time for FORCIBLE OSMOSIS. Vulcan mind meld. SOMETHING.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

As I've just seen LOVE AND DEATH recently, I would have to agree. That and SLEEPER are, in my opinion, his downright funniest. I might even prefer L&D at this point, but I dunno. (I also have great deep love for ANNIE HALL and MATCH POINT).

Hey, in fairness, this was a rare example of me doing something this spectacularly disastrous. Usually it's far less interesting and entertaining.

I should tell you that you were right on one point, I really do have the Hef in me. I've discovered this bit by bit of late. Unfortunately, it was in situations where... well, they were Hefnerian, let's put it that way.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

*smug*

I am wise. Hear me analyze!

PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

PS. I need to flail at someone about Sinestro Corps, STAT. The last four pages of new GL blew me away.

Re: PS.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh, by all means, flail away.

Also, did you read the SUPERMAN-PRIME special? Read this thread if you haven't yet:

http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/4301845.html?thread=155032597#t155032597

I have to say, I really, really love nymphgalatea's idea about Cyborg Superman and Superboy Prime sorta reforming and going off into the sunset as father-son. Going on fishing trips! Giving him his first beer! Heading to the ball game! Playing catch with planets!

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Being killed by G'Nort! A lot!

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Somehow, I hope it's Kilowog that gets to smack Emoboy Prime into the next galaxy.

Re: PS.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It looks like SBP is allllll Sodom Yat's. Alan Moore's Uber-GL to the rescue!

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

What is Sodom Yat's deal, anyway? I confess that I've been trying to find out more about him, and failing. Also, Arisia needs to put some goddamn bra straps on that bustier of hers.

Re: PS.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

He was from Alan Moore's GLC story about the Empire of Tears. If I recall correctly, he was to be the greatest of the GLs, and the last to fall in the Darkest Night when the enemies of the GLC wiped them out forever. The GLC comic by Gibbons has been taking LOTS of cues from Moore's short stories (all except F-Sharp Bell, whom he haven't really seen much of yet), especially the Empire of Tears.

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. What issues of what should I read? Directions, plz!

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, at least it has the word Sodom in it. The s_d types will be happy.

Re: PS.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yes, several people have said SBP will be Sodom-ized. Too easy.

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm looking forward to that beat down. Although one wonders why Hal and Kyle and John aren't given the honor, you know?

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

S_D has been extraordinarily wanky lately. I haven't really read anything for the past five days, for obvious reasons - I can barely get out of bed because of what happened this week - but Christ, it's like the PIC abandoned ship and opened the floodgates of wanky stupidity.

Sodom. Ah, yes. Alan, Alan, you're a genius.

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

Yeeeah. No.
Even Neil didn't hit them ALL out of the park.
I hang out at s_d because, well, it saves me a small fortune on comic books.

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

YEEEEAH BOYEE.
Grimy poozer!

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I think I'm gonna need to flail at you in real time, via IM, because. Because. BECAUSE!

It occurs to me that an issue of Green Lantern could be otherwise execrable and written by...by... ROB LIEFIELD, but if the last four pages contained a Green Lantern, ANY Green Lantern, preferably more than one, chanting the oath, my heart would seize up in abject adoration anyway. I get all verklempt.

I shall go read that thread. I'm still moving very slowly and barely coherent this morning.

I also LOVED Hank Henshaw saying to Supes "You can't kill me" and Supes replying "to be honest, I've never tried." BURN! PWNAGE!

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

DOH!
Daaaaaamn.
He just dropped the entire moral high ground on that whiny Terminator ripoff!
OOOOO.
Sorry. There's a wrestling pay-per-view tonight, and I'm warming up.

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I think that was the best Supes moment I've read in the last five years.

Well, one of three. The other two:

1. "Bill, do you have any money? I hate to ask, but my wallet got burned up when you threw me into the sun."

2. The final pages of JLA and Hitman. Penned by GARTH ENNIS, no less. I teared up and actually cried, it was so poignant. Like Chris Sims said, who knew that GARTH ENNIS would write the best Superman story in years?

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

1. Hee.
2. I haven't teared up like that since the last issue of HITMAN...or the end of PREACHER...or when Warren had to kill off STORMWATCH because Jim Lee needed his WildCATs to survive against the Aliens.
Or when Hal told Sinestro to leave Ollie and Kyle the HELL alone.
I may have marked out like a beatch for THAT.

Re: PS.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Oh, I LOVED that moment in GL #25 last week when Hal SMASHED into Kyllax and knocked him off the balcony! 'TWAS AWESOME! I jumped up and cheered, just like I did reading that "get the hell away from them" line in Rebirth! Yes!

Re: PS.

[suburbfabulous.livejournal.com]

It was Winter 2004, and I was miles from home in a snowstorm (if you look at a map of CT, I was at the point where the state is actually exposed to the Atlantic.)
I pulled into the state's best comic shop and started reading...and I just about wept.
The two older boys and I read GL at the grocery store, but 25 hasn't come in yet. We're all looking forward to the restoration of Mr. Rayner and the pursuant whipping of much yellow ass.

Re: PS.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I teared up at the "Get the HELL away from them" moment as well.

The last time I really cried with a comic had to be Guy, Bea, and Tora in Hell. Halfway though, I gasped and teared up when Guy, Guy Gardner of all people, just whispered, "Please come back. Please come back."

And the last page... punch in the gut. More true emotion there than in the entire INFINITE CRISIS.