In a WORLD... where John Hefner has no title...

[thehefner]

I'm still having a hard time coming up with a title for my new HEFNER MONOLOGUES show. SON OF THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES or THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES: SON OF A HEF, neither one really works for me, not for this half-funny half-somber show about my family.

Thankfully, gnort has been pondering on my behalf, and we've come up with some possible titles for this and future shows:

Hefnerian Boogaloo

The Hefner Monologues and Tweety Show

Hefner Monologues: Year One

Hefner Monologues: Secret Origins (a perfect subtitle to add to my original show down the line. Or alternately, "Rise of the Hefner Monologues" or "Hefner Begins")

Hefner Returns

Hefner Forever

The Hefner Monologues: Quest for Peace

Crisis on Infinite Hefners

The Hefner Monologues: The Search for Hefner

The Hefner Monologues: The Voyage Hef

Someday we'll find it, The Hefner Connection

The Hefner Monologues: Hunt for the Blood Orchid

Hefner Monologues 2: Hef Harder

Hefner Monologues: The Quickening

When the Hefner Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right.

Hefner Monologues: The Legend of Flabbo's Gold



What's crazy is that I'm seriously considering some of these.

Comments

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Hefner? I hardly know 'er!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

ba-dum-cha

...

wait, what?

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

Crisis on Infinite Hefners

BWHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Hurrah for the DC geeks!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Probably wouldn't play to the non-comic geek crowd. Perhaps I'll hold off on that one until I hit the comic convention circuit.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

Episode IV: The Hefner Monologues

Things to consider -- your marketing budget is going to triple, at least, with that second to last title gnort came up with...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I hope people know that the vast majority of these are ironic, and there's no way in hell I'd ever use them.

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

I was wondering if you'd decide I was serious or tongue in cheek. Or tongue somewhere else. Nevermind. that's another discussion for another day.

;)

the stories are going to be mostly about your non-Hefner side? and you need catchy plus not hysterical....

just another couple (and variations thereof) for your mix (and I'll keep doing this until I forget):

Hefner Monologues: Ingredients
(Hitchhiker's) Guide to the Hefner Monologues
Hefner Monologues: the handbook (or the handbasket)

[gnort.livejournal.com]

Well fine then. You try to help a guy..honestly.

Seriously, most of those are facetious, though I do actually endorse Year One (chronicling your first tour/road tripping etc), secret origins, and Hefnerian Boogaloo because that one's just gold. As great as Hefner Monologues 2: Hef Harder is, most of these are unusable simply because of copyright infringement.

My vote

[scarydavedc.livejournal.com]

Hefner Monologues 2: The Motion Picture (Stage Version)

[torberg.livejournal.com]

As an alternate eventual subtitle for the first show, "The Henfer Monologues: Identity Crisis."

That being said, how about any of these for the new show:

• John Hefner Versus the World Crime League
• The Good, The Bad, the Hefnerian
• The Hefner Takes ManhattanD.C.
• John Hefner and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Really Bad Day
• The Hefner Monologues: Special Victims Unit
• Reign of the Hefner Monologues
• Heffie (or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Hefnerian")
• The Hefner Monologues: Play it Again, Heffie
• Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Hefner Monologues Part 2: In Shocking 2-D
• Koyheffiesquatsi: Life Not Quite Even

Now, some of these are serious and some aren't. Determining which is which is left as an exercise to the reader.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, is that first one a Buckaroo Banzai reference? God bless ya!

Man, do I love these.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Why yes, it is.

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

My hat off to you!

[yancentric.livejournal.com]

Unless you're really trying to brand "Hefner Monologues," I don't see why you don't pick a new title for this one entirely. The geeky references in the sequel names are cute, but more distracting than anything else. It was a great title for a first show, especially since you tied things into Hugh, but I don't know if it's as strong for an entire series.. just my .02

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I am trying to brand it, actually. At least as a subtitle; I can have a brand new title, but with the subtitle "A Hefner Monologue." Because there's a certain style to the Monologues shows, at least how I have them in mind, a certain "Hefniverse" where people and themes cross over. Know what I mean?

But maybe you're right. I'm hoping to come up with that original title in the course of writing the script, and if I get something great, I'll either use it on its own or slap on the subtitle.

[cavenessity.livejournal.com]

I am a HUGE fan of Hefner Monologues: The Quickening.

I am a PRETTY GOOD fan of Hefner Monologues 2: Hef Harder.

I am a GOOD fan of Hefner Monologues 2: The Motion Picture (Stage Version).

I am a MONDO MONSTER HUGE fan of my own submission
The Hefner Monologues: The Golden Age

because it suits the website we did for you ;)

[treyhawk.livejournal.com]

The Hef-Files

"The truth is (he's) out there."

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

Hefner: Fight the Past

[banquo26.livejournal.com]

"So much for the HEF-ter glow"?

[angrylemur.livejournal.com]

2 John 2 Hefner
Hefner and a Half
The Unbearable Lightness of Hefner
Children of a Lesser Hefner (or, alternatively, Hefners of a Lesser God)
Four Weddings and a Hefner
Planet of the Hefners
The Fellowship of the Hefner
Snakes on a Hefner
The Assassination of Hefner by the Coward Clarence Boddicker
Hefner vs. Jason

I should really stop before these get even worse.

[jackolantern.livejournal.com]

Trapped in a World Hefner Never Made

Hefner Monologues 2: Rise of the Silver Hefner

No Country for Old Hefners

[lairdofdarkness.livejournal.com]

So many good suggestions (I like the Boogaloo the best)

So here are my ramblings (you may well smile at a couple of them)
Hefner - Like you but sweeter (thats an Icon of yours right?)
The Hefner Monologues - Real life with a twist
The Hefner Monologues - Skipper the eyechild's friend
The Hefner Monologues - One day we will all meet in Valhalla
The Hefner Monologues - You cant be sad in a poncho
Hef and his Monologues
The Hefner Monologues - Its Like real Life but different
Monologues - the Hefner way
HefMon - the rarest of Pokemon
The Hefner Monologues - He lives it so you dont have to


and I'm spent (at least until I watch Darkplace again)
and I checked out the website...very nice. Pass on my congrats to whoever set it up.
Oh just thought of another one

The Hefner Monologues - Trust me I know what I'm doing

[droidboy010101.livejournal.com]

There will be Hefner

Eternal Hefner of the Spotless Monologue

Dr. Hefner: Monologues Invasion Earth 2150 A.D (with the guy who played Grand Muff Tarkin!)

Hefner III: Rise of the Monologues (okay, I know this is Round 2 but something good had to come out of that movie... even if it is only in the form of a usable title parody.)

hmmm....

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

Just some random thoughts...

Hand-me-down Genes (A Hefner Monologue)
Blood and Water Sports
Now, Then and Again

Indy riffs

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

John Hefner and the Philosopher's Monologue
John Hefner and the Legend of Baggy Pants
John Hefner and the Hugest %&*!ing Production

or... Hef-cocked

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

Origins - hee!
I submit:
Second Cousin Once Removed of the Hefner Monologues.

[katenesswac.livejournal.com]

That Hefnerised Fiona Apple reference made me pretty happy.

[ernmissprism.livejournal.com]

In all seriousness, you have to know your audience. You had packed houses last year. Think about what drew them in and what will draw them back, plus new people.

Btw, I like Hefner Returns--it's cheeky without being too geeky.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

You forgot...

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hefner

YOU! On the Hefner!

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

Given "half-funny half-somber show about my family", I think "The Son of a Hefner Monologues" works for me, sorry it doesn't work for you.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'm hearing that it works for others, so hey, if it works for them it works for me! I was just hesitant on it because someone else was. I'm the highly suggestible type.