Look who made the cover! Twice! Wait, who is that?

[thehefner]

I am going to resist talking about my Orlando Fringe Festival "experience" so far until a bit more time has passed and more questions have been asked of certain people. That said, I just needed to show this to y'all.

So... guess who's on the cover of the Orlando Arts Magazine?

Wait, wait, before everyone starts showering me with congratulations (you... were gonna do that, right?), allow me to point out something we realized when the shock wore off. There's no single mention of John Hefner nor THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES anywhere in the magazine: not in the corner, not in the fine print, not in the "On the Cover" section, and not in the article itself. Nor, for that matter, are any of the other photos credited to anyone.

Not even Roy Cox is credited for that image, which kinda bothers me even more, especially as I'm 95% certain they asked for photo credit. And really, it was more chosen for his work than me, because it's a great photo. Ironically, I've never found a great use for it. It works great here, where I seem to be the satanic ringleader of the Fringe.

To top it off, without my facial hair, no one recognizes me as the guy on the cover of the Orlando Arts Magazine. Hell, I'm there twice! At least my actual poster/postcard/program image (the mouth fulla rose petals) is there too, so there will hopefully be that much recognition.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Per se. Dude, I'm on the fucking cover of the Orlando Arts Magazine! TWICE!!! And yet... uh... you might understand how I'm not quite sure how to feel about all this, except to say the sentiment that will become more and more important come July:

"How Hefnerian."

Comments

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Wow. Congrats - I hope you can find a way for the public to connect your name to the image. Can you get on a radio broadcast down there? Paper your flyers in the major places where the Orlando Arts Magazine may be distributed?

I wish you much success with your marketing efforts - and kick ass/have fun with show.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

A radio broadcast? I wouldn't know the first thing about how to set that up. Man, I desperately need a publicist; I'm stretched too thin as it is, barely having the energy to perform (or finding it, then feeling WIPED afterwards). Thankya!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Send 'em a letter, ask who took the photos and who's in it? Or get your loyal public to do the same?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That might work if I did have a loyal public down here, where I'm a total unknown with a familiar last name. As it is, there's just me and me Ma, and any letters we send wouldn't do any good by this point. Probably the most we could get would be a correction listing in the future issue a week or two from now.

[cavenessity.livejournal.com]

How Awesome! Go you!

(next week... updates to site?)

You should send that to Mandy and let them know you submitted a photo credit for it, but it wasn't printed. They can then follow-up with them.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

If things calm down enough, yes, I dare say that'll be good. I'll start picking at things that will need revising.

Mandy? Is that someone at Roy's? I just know Roy and Erin.

[cavenessity.livejournal.com]

Sorry... brain blip. I meant Erin. Mandy was Roy's previous assistant when I first started going to him (she also still works for him as his photo retoucher).

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Sounds good, I'll do just that.

[ernmissprism.livejournal.com]

Great photo(s)! I can't wait to see your next show. Oh, please tell me there's at least one date in DC that doesn't conflict with the Bargain Basement Game Show.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Welp, here are the dates:

Friday, 7/11/08, 10:00pm
Saturday, 7/12/08, 10:30pm
Sunday, 7/13/08, 3:30pm
Saturday, 7/19/07, 3:00pm
Sunday, 7/20/08, 7:00pm
Thursday, 7/24/08, 8:30pm

[interdisciple.livejournal.com]

satanic ringleader of the Fringe.

haha. awesome.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Just get me a whip and a bear driving a little car, and I'll be golden.

[frumple.livejournal.com]

...and clowns.... evil, satanic Henferian clowns. :)

[frumple.livejournal.com]

Heh... "Bit the stubbing of my thumb, something Hefner this way comes?" Sorry couldn't resist the comination McB and Ray Bradburry reference.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

SOMETHING HEFNER THIS WAY COMES will be my monologues show of Halloween horror stories. Or sex. Or, most likely, both.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

That is so fucking awesome I haven't got any fucking words for how fucking awesome it is. It's awesome as fuck. No, I've had fuck that wasn't as awesome as that. (Actually, I haven't, but it's time for some fucking hyperbole, because you need fucking hyperbole to describe how fucking awesome it is.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Even without the credit? Because I certainly DO want to revel in the awesomeness, especially if it can get such a reaction out of you! Yes, hyperbole all around, fuck yeah!

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Of course congratulations are in order! Congratulations!!!!

(Now how long do I have to wait to ask you to pass me a Mike's Hard Leamonade?) (What? Dude, it's hot over here!)

I'm glad you're enjoying Florida (and that they have such fine taste). Obviously they were so overcome by your charm and good looks that they lost all sense of professional, adult behavior. How Hefnerian Floridian.

Try to stay about of Fark.com headlines down there!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I would, but it's hot over here as well! Mike's Hard Lemonades all around!

Y'know, I've never been to Fark.com, so I'm not sure how the whole thing works. But even still, I have seriously limited internets access. Why, just consider how much of my valuable movie-news-and-email time I have spent talking to you instead just here? I do it for youuuuu!

For Me? Awww Shucks!

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Fark.com is a news site that catagorizes its news into tags like "Amusing" "Scary" "Interesting" and "Florida." And wouldn't you know it, but there's always a handful of stories a day that really do seem to put Florida in its own subgroup. One recent Florida headline was "Today's "Day-care van jammed with 38 kids driven by a driver with a learner's permit" brought to you by Jacksonville."

/my fav fark headline of all time was "Magentists create 5 ton Tesla magnet. Polarity ensues."

[frumple.livejournal.com]

That is beyond awsome. Sucks that they didn't credit the pictures though...

[civilbloodshed.livejournal.com]

How is this your life, dude, seriously?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hefnerian, man. I'm telling you.