Zombie Meme

[thehefner]

Taken by several:

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. one weapon.

2. one song blasting on the speakers.

3. one famous person to fight alongside you.


1.) After consulting Max Brooks' zombie survival guide, it looks like my ideal weapon of choice would be the M1 Carbine semiautomatic rifle. It doesn't waste ammo and is idea for both long and short range, plus is lightweight with a short muzzle, making it perfect for indoor combat and long journeys on foot. It was a tough choice between that and the WWII M1 Garand; that bayonet would come in awful handy in a tight spot.

2.) What else? Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party." Subject appropriateness aside, it's got a great energy that's upbeat, dark, and also energetic enough to keep one going (see also: Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" in SHAUN OF THE DEAD)

3.) There might be a better choice, but if I had to pick off the top of my head? Teddy Roosevelt.

Comments

[adaptor.livejournal.com]

Your answer to three was inspired but I have to dock you a point for checking with a reference material. This isn't an open book test!

(Besides, I'm not sure what bullets do to the undead. Besides tickle. I'm thinking it'll take serious fire power before they'll stop lurching after me.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It was never said to be off-book! And as for bullets, they do nothing anywhere except the brain. Destroy the brain, that's the only way to kill a zombie. Which is why you don't want, say, a machine gun, or any weapon meant to incapacitate against other body parts. One in the brain, that's all it takes. Thus the semiautomatic rifle is my ideal weapon, as I want to kill 'em from long distance as often as I can. I'm not a fan of close quarters combat, not even when playing DIABLO.

[kiffie.livejournal.com]

...if I had to pick off the top of my head? Teddy Roosevelt.

BULLY!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Said Vice President Thomas Marshall: "Death had to take him sleeping. For if Roosevelt had been awake, there would have been a fight."

BULLY INDEED.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Wow, you think out and explain your answers! I'm just over here going "a large crowbar, Ultra by KMFDM, and Jackie Chan." XD

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, well, you know, we give this a lot of thought.

Ah Zombies

[the-mithril-man.livejournal.com]

Yanked, taken and posted. Nice to know if I hear another M1A on the other side of the mall I can make my way to it's user and know that the zombie apocalypse just got more entertaining. Long as you don't insist on calling me "Bub"

Re: Ah Zombies

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

hehe, but don't worry, there is but one Bub. Everyone else is "pally." But since you're cool, you get to be "Charlie." Everyone cool with the Rat Pack were called "Charlie," while everybody who was a jerk or square was a "Harvey."

Re: Ah Zombies

[the-mithril-man.livejournal.com]

Hmmm considering who my answer to #3 is I don't know if you should run around calling me "Charlie". It might end poorly.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

1. Maggots. Millions and millions of maggots. They feast on dead meat, and don't touch living human flesh! I would go and hide somewhere safe and not come out until the maggots had eaten all the zombies from their feet up.

2. Muse "Knights of Cydonia", if only for the lines in the chorus that go "No one's going to take me alive! You and I must fight to survive!"

3. Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Pretty sure he could build something to either let us escape, or to trap all the zombie hordes. Something involving big tunnels and spinning propellor blades, no doubt.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

hehehe, but where's the fun in that plan? What do you do when you come face to face with one? Throw maggots at them? The visual is quite delightful, I admit...

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

I figure that if I come face to face with one I'm dead, since I've never used a knife/gun/flamethrower/grenade in my life.

Therefore, my plan relies on never having to go near the zombie hoards, what with the maggots swarming over the floor and my awesome Victorian Engineering Genius friend making zombie deathtraps.

It's a plan that plays to my personal strengths of hiding and hoping for the best.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It might actually be a pretty effective plan.

But be prepared to do a lot of running as well as hiding. It's doable, as zombies (well, not the fast zombies, but we don't like to think about those for a number of reasons) can generally be shoved out of the way as you run past them, but don't stay in one place too long, otherwise they will surround you, and there are always more; who knows how long it would take for the maggots to do their work compared to the never-ending influx of dead coming in. But if you're in a closed-off mall, who knows, maybe that'd be enough to clear everything out, so long as the doors aren't wide open. Or, of course, a gang of bikers break in and let the zombies overrun the place. But that'd never happen, right?

If you can find a good place to hide, good on you! Hopefully you'll have enough supplies to weather the storm for as long as it takes. Just be prepared at any moment to run, and watch out for getting surrounded.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

...you do realise it's well past midnight where I am, and I'm all alone in the house and there's a freaking tree branch tap-tap-tapping on my window?

At least I think it's a tree branch, I don't want to open the curtains and find out. It's entirely possible it's a wee dead Japanese lassie with hair all over her face and she's brought some zombie pals.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Egads, sorry! I'm rather not aware of that at all, for it is just starting to get dark here. One tends to forget time zones and whatnot. Whoopsie.

That said, why would the Japanese hair girl be leading zombies? That's just wrong! But in either case, don't worry about zombies. Now the Blob, that's a whole other matter. And the Thing from Another World. Hm, I wonder what would happen if the Blob and the Thing battled? Okay, now I'm scared too. Hold me long distance!

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

Dunno. Japanese hair girl looked the type to have zombie minions from hell. (And on an unrelated topic, why has there never been a film called "Zombie Minions From Hell"? Sounds like an awesome film)

The Ring is one of the very few films that has genuinely scared the crap out of me as an adult. I can cope with the Thing, I can cope with the Blob, I can cope with the Wolfman and all his zombie friends, but that little girl crawling out of the TV had me behind the couch wailing in horror. Didn't help that I watched it on a pirated VHS tape.

Actually, scratch that. Just found something else that scares the crap out of me. I'm watching Doctor Who online. The Nasty Thing in this weeks' episode is the Vashtu Nerada aka, The Dark. The writers of Doctor Who has created a monster that doesn't hide in the shadows, it IS the shadows. And it wants to eat you all up. And Doctor Who is considered a family show!

Yes, holding long distance sounds a very good idea round about now.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, maybe I could steal Warren Ellis' brilliant mishearing of the fake trailer HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN and combine it with with yours to create the greatest movie title in the history of humanity: HOBO SHOGUN AND THE ZOMBIE MINIONS FROM HELL.

I am actually ashamed to admit how much the Ring girl scared the fuck out of me too. No, I'm there with you. But then, I have a special fear of images in mirrors, paintings, and TV coming to life and acting on their own.

DOCTOR WHO over the decades seems to have a reputation for both cheesy special effects and life-scarring monsters. Every season it seems like there's some other bad guy destined to ruin some poor British schoolchild's life forever and ever. That Dark thing sounds right up there, holy crap.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a fine, fine film.

The guys at the BBC greenlight DR WHO episodes on how scarring they are to your average eight year old. For example:

Series 1: Small undead child with gasmask sealed to his face in World War Two London. Will speak to you through disconnected telephones & radios, all he'll say is "Are you my mummy?". If he touches you, you too become an undead, gasmask wearing thing who wants a mummy.

Series 2: Satan of the Whole Universe. Ever read Warren Ellis' "JLA Classified: New Maps of Hell", where Satan is a meme, an idea that can be passed on through the reading of a manuscript? Kind of like that, except with no Superman, so everybody's fucked.

Series 3: Quantum angels. Stone statues of angels that don't move as long as you're looking at them. If you blink, they move. Towards you, very quickly, and they want your life.

Series 4: The Dark. I mean, seriously, what the fuck, BBC, why do you put this stuff on the TV at 6.45pm?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I've seen 1 and 3 so far (and yes, I had those specifically in mind), and definitely plan on checking out the whole series. From what I understand, there were some life-scarring creatures all the way back in the 80's and beyond, but I'd have to consult my old-school Doctor fan friend about that.

And yes, well, that's the sad reality of the real world. Without Superman, everyone's fucked. Someone put that on a t-shirt.