Mustaches and... MEGA MAN 9?!

[thehefner]

I read a news story yesterday that I was sure would be the greatest thing I would hear all day. After all, CHUD.com headline of said story read: "THE BEST GODDAMN STORY YOU'LL READ ALL DAY." It reads as follows:

I still don't quite believe this story because it is too wonderful to be true, but since Billboard believes (and they just had Iron Maiden on the cover, man) I'm going to pretend this might at least have a chance of being real.

How do I put this…OK, the company that owns most of Hall and Oates' big hits is shopping a cartoon called J-Stache in which John Oates and his mustache are reunited to rock and (one hopes) fight crime. Dave Attell will voice the 'stache.

Here's part of the pilot plot, which features Oates opening a new arm of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to highlight mustachioed musicians:

Suddenly, a dying David Crosby appears and with his last breath warns Oates of a mysterious secret group of mustache wearers bent on killing other mustache wearers. As actor Tom Selleck attempts to escape from the latest murder scene, Oates summons his own mustache with a fist pump that simultaneously changes his clothes from conservative attire to pink pants and white boots.

The pilot has been storyboarded (done exclusively with those toy sketch pads that use metal filings and a magnet 'pen' if I had my way) and could be produced within the next two months, after which creative director Evan Duby says they could shop it either to network, or use the web as a stepping stone to network.

Douchebag hipster bait? 100% Possibly very funny? Also true. And all this being the case, why isn't your pilot greenlit yet? What's wrong with you? We've told you to stop shaving for years.

Indeed, I thought that truly was the best goddamn story I would read all day.

That is, until--just minutes shy of midnight--themadhatter26 called me up with some news.

Mike, of course, is my resident video game fanboy, whereas I consider myself a recovering game addict. I haven't owned a console since the Sega CD (yes, I was that guy!) and as no computers I ever bought came equipped with 3D cards, PC gaming was right out too. I credit the fact that I've written three complete long-winded manuscripts to my lack of gaming system.

Oh, wait, I tell a lie: I do own an old used PS2, but that was purchases expressly for DDR. I have used it for the occasional game, but I try to avoid doing so wherever possible. I lost a whole week to GOD OF WAR.

My point is, Mike called me up to inform me that they're making MEGA MAN 9.

Not MEGA MAN X 9. Not some souped up new Mega Man for the Nintendo Wii with 3D graphics and all that. I'm talking brand new, old school, classic NES style MEGA MAN 9. Right down to 8-bit graphics.

Oh god. I think... I think I came in my mouth a little.

I can only hope and pray they'll get all the details nailed, right down to the blinky slowy-down effects when the graphics would get overwhelmed. And, of course, the music. I can honestly listen to the soundtrack for MEGA MAN 2 and 3 on their own, they are that good. Especially the legendary theme for Dr. Wily's castle:

Good lord, people. Tell me that doesn't get your blood pumping. Looks like I'm gonna be falling off the wagon.

Comments

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

The Oates story sounds like the sort of thing that attracts a huge audience on the Cartoon Network, which I watch twice because the second has the same joke as the first.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Honestly, ASSY MCGEE would be worth watching at least twice if it were about mustaches instead of asses.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Random: please enjoy The Amazing Adventures of Gambit's Ass () to see ass narrative causality at its finest.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The link, she is no working. Or rather, I'm assuming that there is/was a link.

You liked that CHUD story, eh? I had to share it with Bloo, who's a great fan of Fuzzy Ink, whose motto is, "Feel better. Grow a mustache."

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Before I address the awesome of that CHUD story, please check my LJ. There's something there for you.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

Apropos of absolutely nothing (though you really ought to get a Wii, they're aces), something I've always wondered about you: why Two-Face?

uh oh, you've unleashed the beasht!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Trust me, every time I play a Wii, I'm so tempted. But the Bub and Johnny Go stage play ain't gonna write itself! (Not kidding)

Why Two-Face? Oh dear. Um. I wonder if it's always tough to try to explain what it is about the things over which we find ourselves obsessed, beyond just, "He's awesome!" I apologize in advance.

First, he was in the first comic I ever read as a kid, and the character instantly struck me as compelling (see icon). I'd occasionally follow the character growing up, but for awhile, I was way more of a Dr. Octopus fanboy.

Then I became an instant fan of BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES, and took special notice of Harvey Dent (voiced perfectly by Richard Moll), who wasn't Two-Face. Oh, even then I knew it was coming, but they had several episodes of sane good guy Harvey. No, not only was he a good guy, but here he was Bruce Wayne's best friend. This level of tragedy and doom had me hooked in the character long after he got scarred, and throughout it, I kept rooting for him to get redeemed. At the same time, he was a villain to be reckoned with. When he walked in, it wasn't like seeing the Mad Hatter or Killer Croc, this was serious, and you knew some shit was gonna go down. He's the least "fun" of all the Batman rogues gallery (well, Harvey and Mr. Freeze, but unlike Victor, Harvey still actively feels suffering).

I was at a period in my life where I was a sucker for "fallen angel redemption stories." About that time, I became a Hal Jordan fan for exactly the same reasons. I loved bad guys who went good, had good in them, or formerly were good but were struggling to make amends. So I was already predisposed to like the character.

Then I checked out whatever Two-Face comics I could find about that time (they released a TPB of Two-Face and Riddler stories to tie in to BATMAN FOREVER, don't get me started), and there I read "Eye of the Beholder." All of a sudden, this character I already liked took on a hugely personal new dimension.

On one hand, the "abusive alcoholic parent" origin is perhaps the biggest bad guy origin cliché out there. On the other hand, as presented in EOTB... it made perfect, horrible sense. Harvey's one of the only characters where that particular kind of abuse is perfect, establishing realistic resonance in the character, and thus making him all the more tragic.

Obviously, I'm coming from a personal perspective of having an alcoholic parent, and while he never physically abused me, the psychological abuse was all too similar. Dad never flipped a coin, but boy, did he love to play his games. And here was poor Harvey, a genuinely good guy and an effective Gotham crime fighter, getting completed fucked over from the start. He never had a chance nor choice, and as a result, he's turned into a vicious monster, second only to the Joker as Batman's greatest enemy. Batman, who still pulls his punches around Two-Face and only calls him, "Harvey," and will never give up on trying to save him. He's a character who can be both sympathetic and monstrous, sometimes at the same time.

Of course, as is the problem with DC or Marvel characters, there are always writers who come along who fuck the character up and don't get it. Which is why Bloo and I started to plot out what would become the novel, just so I really show what it is about this character that I find so compelling, powerful, and heartwrenching (don't worry, I have a number of editors making sure it doesn't fall into outright Mary-Sue-ism). And honestly, that book will do a lot better job explaining than my long-winded, fumbling attempt here. If I get it right. Which I have so far, according to my editors.

In the meantime, though, did that help? Sorry, asking "why" is kind of a loaded question.

Re: uh oh, you've unleashed the beasht!

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

It did. I was just curious why you liked him so much. :)

i heart mega man

[interdisciple.livejournal.com]

seems we have yet another interest in common, heffie. we'll have to have a mega man party at some point. keep me posted if anything mega manny and cool comes out for PS3. i got the mega-man anniversary edition for gamecube that's supposed to have all mega mans 1 - 8 or some shit -- and it's almost awesome, except the buttons are reversed and there's no option to fix it, and i can't seem to detrain my mega-muscle-memory reflexes, the button mixup deterring me from taking the entire series seriously or finding it even remotely enjoyable at all. so i'm left waiting. but as you might notice, i'm awake at 6:30 not to research mega man, but to finish papers that spite my soul. and i pass the torch of researching and reporting all things mega manny to you, my friend. please, do not let us down.

Re: i heart mega man

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

MEGA MAN 9 will be downloadable, as I understand, and that includes to PS3! That said, I've already promised Mike (made him promise me) to have me over for MM9's release, but an actual party-party? Sounds like a plan! Although that does stink about the controls.

Yes, yes, get actual work done! Much (almost) more important!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Tell me that doesn't get your blood pumping.

That doesn't get my blood pumping (my blood is pumping all on it's own). Actually, I'm not kidding. Going back to 8-bit for the latest official classic series game? Really, Capcom? Yes, there's a nostalgia factor for a lot of people, but I'm not one of them. My mom wouldn't allow 8-bit game sin the house (I'm not kidding) so I never played the first Megaman until last year when I got the collection. I'm glad you're stoked -- I'm glad everyone who's excited by this is, really, but I can't help but think that this is a terrible decision in terms of trying to keep the series alive. It's been ten years since Megaman 8, and now we're back to 8-bit. *boggles*

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Well, first of all, never doubt the nostalgia factor among gamers, especially when it comes to 8-bit graphics and sounds, not to mention one of the greatest, most beloved series of all time (and let's face it, unlike Mario, Zelda, or Metroid, something was lost when Mega Man went 16-bit, I think many will agree).

Secondly, it's gonna be released only as a downloadable game. And thirdly, as Mike pointed out, it's totally easy to make games like that these days. They could just keep cranking them out!

Of course, this raises concerns that they won't be cranking out quality. But this is far from a bad business decision, as it's really just for the 8-bit fans of old, not the post-NES generation. For the rest of them, hell, Mega Man's one of Capcom's biggest characters, he won't be resigned to 8-bit forever!

In the meantime, c'mooooon! Bleeps and bloops! That music! *swoon*

... man, this really does run the risk of being like the NES-fans equivalent of EPISODE 1...