BAT-BALE: Grrgrll farggle raar!

[thehefner]

I really, really liked THE DARK KNIGHT. Parts of it, I outright loved. But the next person who says that it's a brilliant film, flawless and a masterpiece, I'm gonna send them this:

In the tradition of Movies in Fifteen Minutes: THE DARK KNIGHT: The 'Abridged Script'.

I tried to quote my favorite highlights, but soon realized I'd end up copy-pasting half the "script" here. But I've gotta mention this:



AARON ECKHART: You asshole, why did you kill my girlfriend?

HEATH LEDGER: I’m an agent of chaos. I just do things.

AARON ECKHART: Wow, that’s some sophisticated characterization there. As soon as I get out of these surprisingly strong bandages, I’m going to kill you!

HEATH LEDGER: Look, you don’t want to kill me for murdering her. You want to kill everyone else for failing to stop me from murdering her!

AARON ECKHART: That doesn’t make any sense at all.

HEATH LEDGER: And yet, it’s going to be your main character motivation for the rest of the movie. Now make with the murder, Sir Skins-A-Lot.

Magnificent.

I'm anxious to finally see TDK in IMAX this weekend, ready to embrace all the things I do love about the film (being the majority) but the more this film continues to be hyped, the less willing I am to forgive its flaws.

Still, it's a testament to a film that I was so incredibly hyped to see over the past two years that, even with all the problems I had with the final movie, I still wasn't disappointed with the overall experience.

Comments

[inviere.livejournal.com]

I actually thought the entire scene with The Joker and Harvey/Two-Face in the hospital was brilliant. The Joker appealed to Two-Face, obviously, who could not have cared less about Rachel Dawes.

Harvey wanted to kill him, Two-Face preferred the notion of chaos. Hence the coin toss.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'm of two minds, really. On one hand, I agree, but on the other, he wouldn't let the Joker go scot-free. The coin doesn't work that way. Just because he won't kill the guy who killed his love doesn't mean he won't stop or thwart him. And going after Jim's family? Comes totally out of left field.

Also, you bring up Harvey's wants versus Two-Face's wants, but the movie doesn't even touch on actual duality. There was no sense of conflict between warring sides tearing Harvey apart, which would cause him to flip the coin as a tie-breaker.

[inviere.livejournal.com]

I do agree there could have been more concerning his obsession with duality, and the difference between the two sides, but it was very clear to me in the hospital scene.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

If it was enough for you, that's cool. Not me, though. I needed more to really buy the whiplash character change. But then, I don't think they could have plausibly taken Two-Face that far without a whole other movie. The thing about the character (in general) is that there's no one moment that drives him really over the edge. It's all little build-ups, little things that eat and eat and eat away at him over a long period of time, and it doesn't stop even after the acid hits.

And as for the movie itself, I just... I can't get over him letting the Joker off without even doing something. Harvey is the GOOD side, so he should be doing the GOOD thing by doing what Harvey Dent would do and bring the Joker to justice. Two-Face would kill him, but Harvey would bring him down by the book.

Two-Face is not about kill or not kill. He's a clash between Harvey's nobility and Two-Face's burning, hateful fury. We got none of that here.

Know what I mean?

EDIT: Egad, let's remove some of these italics. Sorry, my passion sometimes gets the better of me.

[inviere.livejournal.com]

Yes...I know, he's one of my favourite villains. I feel that Harvey should have had his "accident" at the end of the film, introducing Two-Face as the new villain in the last film. However, considering what they had to work with, I thought they did a great job with the hospital scene.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I totally agree, they should have had Two-Face's revelation as the ending of this film. But Nolan wanted to make a stand-alone movie with absolutely no intentions of saving anything for a sequel, so there we go. Unfortunately for Harvey.

And I do agree, the hospital scene's a great scene, don't get me wrong. I mean, putting aside how I think it messes up Harvey's character, taken on its own it's a fantastic scene. But it still does Harvey a disservice, and as I said in my huge rant when the film came out, the rush-job on Harvey actually kinda unravels the film as a whole.

[princessebee.livejournal.com]

I agree with you.

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

People have mentioned this before. I think they are missing a few points.

I think his motivation was BEING CRAZY FROM HAVING HALF HIS FACE BURNED OFF. And not taking any painkillers, which they mentioned.

Me, if I burn my finger on the fucking stove I want to kill, let alone burning off half my face.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It's a good point to keep in mind, but if that's the case, then I dislike it on the grounds that it's a waste of a good character. It's crazy without any psychological and emotional depth, and his actions ring hollow because they're mindless, empty actions without any resonance for everything that was built up earlier. He might as well be a whole different character at that point.

[princessebee.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

BAT PHYSICS VIOLATOR.

Oh.

My.

God.

I love the RANDOM caps STREWN all throughOUT this BRILLIANT SUMMATION of the DARK Knight.

Also:

BAT-BALE

We can’t let people find out he killed a bunch of people. Tell everyone I did it.

GARY OLDMAN

Hmm. You know, we could probably just blame everything on Heath Ledger, since he murdered like 500 other people during the movie.

BAT-BALE

No, it has to be me. Nothing else would be as arbitrarily dramatic.

GARY OLDMAN

Alright, I’ll go along with your plan to protect Eckhart’s reputation, somehow looking past the fact that he nearly just shot my son in the fucking face.

That's as almost as much win as Dr. Doom wearing the Infinity Gauntlet.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Nothing is as much win as Dr. Doom wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. Has he ever before? It's so perfectly awesome and scary that it's amazing someone hasn't thought of it before. Although it's not as downright scary as that moment in JLA/AVENGERS where Darkseid had it. I'd trust Doom with it over Darkseid.

But yeah, the script is brilliant, ain't it?

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Nothing is as much win as Dr. Doom wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. Has he ever before?

...

Clearly, I need to give you a reading list, starting with the motherfucking THE THANOS QUEST, then THE INFINITY GAUNTLET - best line-wide crossover EVER PUBLISHED - and then the INFINITY WAR and INFINITY CRUSADE.

The current working theory on my journal, espoused by a sharp-eyed Michael Paciocco, is that this is a What If? story that features a time traveling Doom after the Beyonder episode.

...Wait, you don't know who the Beyonder is, do you?

Oh, hell. Let me add some stuff to your mandatory reading list.

Like Secret War 1, Secret War 2, and Operation Galactic Storm.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

What, why? I've READ them, girl! Well, not in a long-ass time, and I didn't quite understand what happened all the time, nor do I remember much, but I've read them! Yes, I know who the Beyonder is, I've read all these! Well, except Operation Galactic storm. What brings all this on?

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Because the cover over on my journal is Beyonder!Doom vs. Infinity!Doom. Doom is wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. Hopefully he's bitchslapped Reed, Tony, Charles, Namor, and...I can't even remember who else was in the Illuminati at this point...anyway, hopefully he slaps them around for daring to take on the individual Infinity Gems, because of course DOOM is the right person to hold them ALL, and then Celestials, with maybe a cameo or two from Infinity and Eternity, who promptly raise their (antimatter) eyebrows in profound displeasure and throw some people into a black hole in order to preserve "cosmic consonance." And if it's a What If story, it might just be goddamn EPIC.

To understand Beyonder!Doom, you have to read Secret Wars 1 and 2 again.

CELESTIALS are on that cover. 'Nuff said.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Welp, looks like it's time for me to revisit the old classics one'a these days. The only one I've reread in recent years in THANOS QUEST, which I adore. It works magnificently as a stand-alone story.

Hard to believe it's the same Jim Starlin who did DEATH OF THE NEW GODS and that new Hawkman... thing.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, Starlin's Hawkman...thing. A friend of mine actually lives close to Jim Starlin and says that he cannot reconcile what Starlin is now to what Starlin once was. I mean, we ARE talking about the man who made this icon possible.

(That Hawkman...thing. When that was posted on S_D, I jokingly called Katar Hol a fascist on scans_daily - because that's been a running joke on the comm for, what, four years? - apparently causing at least one member of your flist to take OMG SERIOUS UMBRAGE.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'm skittish when it comes to Hawkstuff anyway (I like my brain, ladies and gentlemen, and I want it not melting from my ears in confusion) I caught one whiff of that issue I pretty much avoided everything about it, including the inevitable s_d fallout. There are times when I just gotta say, "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

> somehow HEATH is able to hold his own against a guy with NINJA TRAINING.

Yeah, that's always bugged me about superheroes in general. They set out the plot points ("X defeats Y") and the capabilities and strengths of X and Y are jiggered to match. It's not a terrible problem as long as (a) the scene is otherwise visually interesting, and (b) the plot point they want to get to is also interesting.

For some reason, this line kills me:

CHRISTIAN BALE crashes his bike like a PUTZ.

It's the capitalization of the final word that does it, in the context. It just kills me.

Oh, BTW: really enjoying The Venture Brothers. Not every joke lands, and the biggest wins aren't as big as the biggest wins of South Park, but I think it gets a higher percentage of jokes that do land.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Sadly, too many lazy writers just settle right back to fisticuffs rather than intelligent writing. It's why the Riddler is so rarely utilized, and even more rare when it's done well: a criminal based entirely on intellect (intellect that can't be bullshitted and actually needs explanation) is too goddamn hard to write!

For me, the appeal of good superhero stories are when they actually do cleverly pair off the attributes of characters X and Y. It happens, but not often enough.

You are? Oh excellent! Whereabouts are you in the series?

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

I just finished season 1. The first disc of season 2 is near the top of the Netflix queue.

I do so love half-hour comedies. Go in, get 22 minutes of mindless entertainment, go do something else. Or indulge in another 22 mindless minutes without feeling like you're wasting your life.

Unless, of course, those 22 minutes are so egregiously stupid that you actually emerge dumber than when you started. Which describes nearly all half-hour comedies.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Most excellent! I think season two is a real improvement all around. There's only one episode I don't like, even actively dislike: "Look Who's Coming To State Dinner," the unfortunate return of Bud Manstrong. So beware of that stinker. But the first two episodes of season two are special highlights.

Yeah, that very much is the problem with most half-hour comedies. Like I say, I appreciate Venture Brothers for how it handles character development and humor that comes from familiarity with these people and their situations, until we all become part of the in-joke. Jackson recently said that Seasons 3 and (the upcoming) 4, he realized, were very unfriendly to new viewers in this respect.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

CHRISTIAN BALE uses MAGIC to pull fingerprints off a nonexistent bullet

The second time I watched the film this reduced me a little ball of incoherent forensic-science-filled rage. The first time I watched the film I had already been forcibly dragged from the cinema by that point. (Did I ever tell you about my abortive attempts to go see the Dark Knight?)

It's a fun parody, and highlights most of the niggles I had with the fun (the end of the Joker-in-the-penthouse scene was problematic, the whole Harvey turns to Two-Face also had major problems, as you have so eloquently noted)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's one of several major problems with this film that I--along with everyone else--either didn't notice or noticed but was soon distracted by something else coming along. The film was very good at throwing something new at you every few seconds.

[ever-obsessed.livejournal.com]

So what does it say about me that this made me happiest?

You didn’t seem to have a problem letting Liam Neeson die in the last movie, and all he did was blow up your house.

Because it's totally my favorite bit.

Possibly because nobody else has mentioned the stupid in it.

*runs off and pimps link like a big damn dork because she's had two energy drinks today*