2009 Tour Announcement

[thehefner]

So I just won the CAFF lottery. That is, the Canadian Association of Fringe Festivals lottery, where you can apply for at least five Fringe Festivals in the CAFF union. There are ten winners selected in all: five Canadian, five international. Obviously, I was one of the latter. I figured my chances weren't too terrible, because who really has the time or sanity to devote to *five* whole Fringe festivals? Fuck, I nearly went mad doing three!

Now, I am officially signed up to perform THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES in...

New York City (Frigid): Feb. 25 – March 8, 2009
Montreal: June 11 - 21, 2009
Winnipeg: July 15 – 26, 2009
Indianapolis: Aug 21 – 30, 2009
Vancouver: September 9 - 20, 2009

I'm also almost certainly signed up for Orlando (May 14 - 25, 2009), to do the revised hour-long version of HOW HEFNERIAN, and as if that's not enough, I'm gonna shoot for Minnesota (July 30–Aug. 9, 2009), which I wouldn't do if I hadn't repeatedly heard how insanely awesome it is. So I'm definitely doing five festivals, probably six, and hopefully seven.

And maybe... I'm possibly considering doing Sydney, Australia in the Fall, after the US tour.

Oh my god. Oh my god. I need revise the Monologues soon. I need to get them fresh and tight, make them really mean something to me again. Not that they don't, but after performing this for a year and a half, you know what I mean. I need to get some kind of cheapie photoshop program to make posters. I need better marketing! "Meet the black sheep of the white bunny family" is tempting, but it might not be what I really need! What's better? "It's hard out there for a Hef?" GAH!

I need marketing people! I need a secretary! I need... I need a hundred beers! Exactly. Exactly a hundred, thank you.

I am having a heart attack. But in a good way. I think. I hope. I'm gonna die now.

Comments

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

Wow! Winnipeg!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It's supposedly a money maker. Because people in Winnipeg have nothing else to do, the town supposedly clears out to come see shows. The only trick is that I'm a newb, so I need to establish myself in previous festivals and try to glom onto a Fringe celebrity. Winnipeg is serious business!

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

There are many places in America with nothing better to do and they still wouldn't see your show. It's not that your show is not any good - far from it - it's just that the thought of any kind of performance or absorbing "culture" is perceived as well, "queer."

Let's hope Canadians are more advanced, what with their free healthcare and green ways.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Totally. Well, that's what makes Indianapolis so funny. For a Bible Belt town, they apparently love the weirdo Fringe shows! I think I may actually do well there!

Yes, free healthcare, green ways, and girlfriends. They are coming out ahead.

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah - I didn't get to meet your "Canadian Girlfriend."

Really, there's a joke in there somewhere, but do I really need to say it?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Dude, why do you think I call her my Girlfriend in Canada? I was calling her my Girlfriend in Canada ironically at first! Now, ironically, it's no longer ironic!

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

To be fair, I've had a "Girlfriend in Illinois." Granted, not the same cultural significance, but I feel ya.

Let's put it this way: I hope your LD-relationship ends up better than mine did.