thehefner: (Applause)
[personal profile] thehefner
The goal of this day--and one of the main goals over this entire route--was Hearst Castle in San Simeon, CA. A place much-touted for its awesome power and beauty, a testament to one of the great capitalists of the 20th Century.





Like so many, I bought into the old CITIZEN KANE story that newspaper-emperor William Randolph Hearst built this mansion for his beloved young movie star girlfriend, who still ended up rejecting him.





Nope, it's a total myth. He built another house near L.A. for her, but not the so-called "Castle." He just built it because he was a rich fuck who wanted to build a huge fucking place to roll around in his filthy lucre and surround himself with antiques and zebras. Seriously, he had the largest private zoo at the time, and the descendants of some of those animals, including zebras, still roam the grounds. Rich fucking zebras.





(man, I want my mansion to have marble statues of naked Clara Bow)


Of course, even if the sordid popular myth were the truth, I wouldn't have heard it from anybody there. Put it to you this way: after the tour, they show you a 40-minute film called "Hearst Castle: Building the Dream." The film opened with a close-up of Hearst's eyeball from a photograph with a slow pulling out, while a kindly narrator mused, "William Randolph Hearst. A name that instantly provokes many responses. But who was William Randolph Hearst? A lot's been written about him. Some, by people who knew him. Most, by those who didn't. But if you were to ask Mister Hearst what he'd call himself... *folksy chuckle* well, he might well say... 'builder."





Clearly, the Hearst family is fiercely keen on image, so there's not a single mention of KANE, nor the megalomania that inspired it (which, by most accounts, the film understated). No, this William Randolph Hearst was a kindly man with big dreams, whose life ambition to was to build this house as a noble achievement and loving testament to his parents, rather than a rich old fuck who wanted yet another playground to wow his also-rich guests. The whole thing was such a whitewash as to be almost hilarious. Almost.




Really, I'm sorry to sound bitter, but the more fake I realized it all was, the more devoid of any humanity there was in this kind of a human being, the more the tour guide described all the pointless excess that went into constructing such a place, I finally started to understand why a certain anarchist ladyfriend of mine isn't joking at all when she seethes, "Eat the rich!"





I mean, just look at this shit, man. What the hell?





Admittedly, the bland-yet-jarring Christmas decorations didn't do the atmosphere any favors, but still...




I just... I just wanted to go back in time and punch William Randolph Hearst in the face.



Just look at that terrifying mug. I bet a dozen infants around the world instantly died every single time he smiled.

The whole tour cost twenty bucks, but that's just the introductory tour. They offered five more, each also around twenty, each to explore certain off-limits areas of the house. Aside from devotees of architect Julia Morgan, I cannot imagine who the hell would want to spend a whole day and a hundred bucks exploring this monument to excess.




It'd be one thing if it weren't so full of bullshit about who Hearst was, with every other word out of the tour guide's mouth ringing with PR phoniness ("Mister Hearst loved to laugh. Just look at these home movies of him with people like Adolphe Menjou and Charlie Chaplin. They sure had some fun."). But as it is, I found Hearst Castle to a fascinating experience, but for all its beauty and achievements, I couldn't bring myself to be awed.

Especially for when compared to what I'd see next, as I drove into Big Sur. No amount of money nor influence could create the wonders I would see there, nor could my camera really capture their vastness. But I'll get to my attempts in the next post.



That said, it got me thinking... when Hugh dies, I could easily imagine his kids opening the Playboy Mansion up to the public, just like Hearst's family did. And I had this sudden visual similar to the end of THE LAST EMPEROR, where I--as an old man--finally return to the Playboy Mansion... as a tourist. I rather like that idea, really.

Date: 2008-12-05 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] little-dinosaur.livejournal.com
When I get out of this dump and get an apartment, I too will have zebras roaming the grounds. Of my apartment.

Date: 2008-12-05 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
If nothing else, my experience at Hearst Castle could provide great fodder for Johnny Go. I could easily imagine some villain taking it over as his home base, and Johnny storming the castle (or fleeing from it) on zebraback.

wow...

Date: 2008-12-05 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] american-arcane.livejournal.com
That is a bit o' excess.

Though I do dig the outdoor pool.

And the indoor one.

You could stage mock navel battles in those! :)

Re: wow...

Date: 2008-12-05 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
With remote controlled ships, armed with real mini guns and explosives. Yes, I would deem that acceptable.

Date: 2008-12-05 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treyhawk.livejournal.com
I second your Clara Bow comment.

Date: 2008-12-05 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Just generally speaking, we all need more Clara Bow, naked and/or marble and/or otherwise.

I don't know...

Date: 2008-12-05 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spirit-o-fire.livejournal.com
I know that the man was a prick but... Geez.... The beauty of the architecture, art and statuary is phenomenal. It's just terrifyingly striking. He may have been a prick but he also seems responsible for bringing some artistic beauty into the west coast American landscape.

You know, as far as we know he wasn't the Devil or like a rapist or worse. He was a an incredibly powerful man that wielded his power too much.

But he did create some incredible beauty and he supported some of the arts.

I can't seem to hate him too much.

Re: I don't know...

Date: 2008-12-05 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
No, I completely hear that. It was something about the mood I was in when I went there, and stuff that was already on my mind that really affected things. Also, I can't stress enough the negative influence of the tour guides, espousing their bullshit.

You know what? I wish I could have been there alone. Like, what you're seeing now, just the pure photos? That's what I wish I could have experienced, a solitary experience devoid of any whitewash or spin or propaganda by the Hearst estate. I would I could have been allowed to wander those grounds alone and to get my own experience, not the pre-packaged one they wanted me to have.

Date: 2008-12-05 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] irish-caffeine.livejournal.com
What exactly were the off-limits sections? The hidden chambers where Hearst and his friends held their sex magick rites?

Date: 2008-12-05 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Like, his "Gothic" bedroom, the library, the gardens (during summer), each of those are single $20 tours. Well, not just them alone, but those are the focus of each. The one I took was the "intro" tour.

Date: 2008-12-05 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ernmissprism.livejournal.com
Trivia note: in that film you were shown in the visitor's center, there is a nice shot of my great-grandmother playing tennis while wearing diamonds. She was reportedly one of his many Hollywood mistresses for a while. What a life!

Date: 2008-12-05 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Oh my god, that's totally nutty! But it makes sense, considering your family. Still, wow!

Date: 2008-12-05 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
How is Hearst Castle "fake"? Because I've been there, and I walked away with the opposite impression. It occupies physical space, most of the architecture is gorgeous, and it's very tangible and real.

As for Julia Morgan, you'll never cut it in Northern California. There are quite a few buildings around here that were designed by Julia - from houses to theaters to public buildings - and they're so visually distinctive that you can spot them from blocks away. She's considered a treasure, not some obscure architect.

Date: 2008-12-05 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Not the castle itself, but the presentation, the way the tour guides and the films and the museums glossed it all over. If I had been able to explore the castle alone, without being force-fed "their" take on things, that would have been a totally different story. I could have had my own experience, my own reaction, without having to try and work with the one they wanted me to have. Know what I mean?

Date: 2008-12-05 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
I mean, Jesus Kali, did you see that film they showed after the tour? BUILDING THE DREAM. I'd have thought that you would totally just be sitting there going, "Oh my god, this is such utter bullshit."

Date: 2008-12-05 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kali921.livejournal.com
Nope! When I first to Hearst Castle, there wasn't any film (or we left before it could be sprung on us unsuspecting voyeurs), and the guide kept the bullshit to a minimal level - in fact, the tour guide stayed away from any Hearst controversy except to neutrally acknowledge the infamy of certain episodes in Hearst's past.

Date: 2008-12-05 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
The film's new in the past couple of years, so I'm not surprised. It's soooo saccharine and ridiculous, right down to the sweeping BRAVEHEART/Celine Dion style orchestral score! And then, when you get out, you can buy the DVD for thirty bucks! It was totally ridiculous.

Yeah, the house itself was wonderful, but the experience was strained and stained. Terrible, really. Well, when the zombie apocalypse comes, I'll see if I can make it my mountain fortress. Then I'll finally be able to really enjoy it.

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