Bitchy Rant About Crappy, Crappy Play I'm In

[thehefner]

Sometimes there are downsides to being a nice guy. A "friend" of mine, and I mean that in the lightest sense, has his thesis play going up last, and no one came to audition for his show. He asked me if I would agree to take a roll in the show, and though I was reluctant I remembered when no one came to audition when I directed "Joe Egg," and I felt like, shit, he needs me. If I don't say yes, he's going to have a damn difficult time finding someone willing to do it.

Well, that was stupid of me.

I hate this play. Hate it hate it hate it. I'm using the word "hate" here to describe this play. As far as I can tell, this director had no idea what he wanted to do for a thesis, so he went to the chair of the department and, being an anime fan, asked for "something Japanese." So the chair gave him a compilation of Kobo Abe's plays. Kobo Abe is a Japanese existentialist, and if that wasn't enough to win you over, the play we're doing ("Willful Negligence" AKA "Involuntary Homicide") is basically a Japanese "Waiting for Godot." Without, you know, any of the humor or absurdity.

As for the director... imagine being directed by Eeyore the Donkey. The boy is gloomy, deadpan, morose, and takes 15 minutes to give notes for ONE scene.

And the part I have: "Islander B." Now normally I would make the best of a spear-carrier role, which this is for basically the whole play, an omni-present spear carrier who makes an inane comment every, oh, ten script pages. Oh wait, no, it's not that small a role, since I get three monologues! Which would be ok, right, since I can give those my own flavor and everything would be good, yes? Except no, these HUGE monologues have to be read ENTIRELY in "rote recitation." That's right, I'm basically reading the pledge of allegiance for five minutes.

Thank God the actors are good, otherwise I swear to Jebus, this is an actor's nightmare. My vision of Hell, as of 4/7/04: having to perform this play in an infinite loop as I wait in the DMV for all eternity.

Needless to say, I won't be heartbroken if no one wants to come up here to see the play. Ah well, it could be worse. I could have been in Henry V, eh tomperdue and tazira?

Comments

[tazira.livejournal.com]

LOL! Poor you! Been there, done that, a LOT more than I should have let myself over the years. "But, hark, is that young Fortinbras I hear?"....(ten pages of dialogue between more interesting characters)..."Lo, I see his face!"....(insert ten more pages of not-you dialogue)..."Aye, sir."

And I'm spent.

It's not too bad when you're in a decent play. When you're stuck in a play that sucks, it genuinely doesn't matter how many lines or monologues you have; it's frustrating pretty much no matter what.