thehefner: (Simpsons: Old Gray Mare)
[personal profile] thehefner
If you're planning to see my show, The Road to Nowhere, at the Capital Fringe Festival, DO NOT READ THE REVIEW BY DC THEATRE SCENE. The reviewer spoiled every single fucking plot point and twist in graphic detail, which, y'know, might not have been so bad if he at least gave me a rave review and a pull-quote or two, or maybe wanted to do a "New Yorker" and wax literary by deeply analyzing every aspect of the show. But no, the spoilers didn't have any bearing on the actual substance of his critique. He just did it anyway, just cuz. Seriously, out of the twelve paragraphs that comprise the review, FIVE are pure spoiler. That's swell. That's fantastic.

I'm making this public purely as a warning to you guys, so hopefully the reviewer himself won't read this, because I still have to figure out a way to politely ask him to alter the review in a way that doesn't piss him off or make him feel like I'm trying to tell him how to do his job. Look, I'm incredibly grateful that he came to see me on my opening night, when I've been completely unable to promote my show due to all the baby-havin'. I want him to know that.

And hell, I really don't care that he didn't love the show. Quite frankly, I can't always be on my A-game due to the fact that I'm tired as all fuck from taking care of a newborn (although those friends of mine who've seen it so far seem to like it a lot either way, so it seems like I'm doing all right), so all I care about right now is having a good time, getting good audiences, and at least breaking even, in that order. But this review could seriously kneecap all three, and I don't even have another show for twelve days, just three shows left in the final weekend of Fringe.

So we are not a very happy, happy Hefner and Henchgirl right about now. Even the Hef!Baby is strangely more upset than usual today. Way to go, Mr. Reviewer, you make my son cry.

Holy shit, I have a son. That's still so weird.

Date: 2011-07-11 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Aw, man. That blows. Just get as much sleep as you can and try to get rested up for the next go-round. I've got a friend with an itch to buy a bundle of Fringe tix. I'll see if I can get her (and another she-nerd or two) to add you to the mix. (I'm probably out, though, unless I get spectacular job-hunting news in the next week or so. Or unless I spaz and decide I need to go out more than I need to eat.)

Date: 2011-07-11 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You have a son...

suddenly that thought is horrifying.

Date: 2011-07-11 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That is a hilarious and oddly appropriate icon for this post.

Also, we all know that baby!hefner is smarter than he looks. Afterall we can't have his plans for taking over the world get derailed because of a spoilery review.

Date: 2011-07-11 10:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wow, what an asshat that reviewer is! o_o It's been ages since I worked at a paper, but when I did, a review like that would have been rejected as too unprofessional to print!

Date: 2011-07-11 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Since I saw you yesterday I went and read theh review. The non-spoiler parts felt mostly positive. I'm wondering whether "hey, thanks for coming and thanks for the review -- I'm glad you liked all those different twist lines, but I'm feeling like they're not nearly so enjoyable if someone already knows about them - would you be willing to cut those paragraphs down to a more obscure small teaser instetad?" could work...

Date: 2011-08-20 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
How awful of them to do that. :( Really awesome and appropriate icon for the jerk through too.

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