Rant- RPG, vampires, and sensualists

[thehefner]

First of all, RPG gamers frighten me. They really do. It's a whole huge, really involved geek field in which I have virtually no experience and is generally rather intimidating. Something about the level of involvement people put into these games really puts me on the resistance (more than comics or sci-fi, RPG is where the line between reality and fantasy really blurs, I think it's fair to say), but little by little I'm starting to come around.

That said, I've realized that probably the ONLY way I'd ever join an RPG, especially of the vampiric or lycanthropic nature, is if I could play a human. A schlub like John Crichton or Bruce Campbell, someone who might be pretty smart and capable and may even excel at a couple particular things, but is generally a pretty normal guy thrown in the middle of all the monsters, creatures, and clans. A guy who'd make a few smart-assed comments, frequently gets into trouble, and gets knocked out a lot. Sam Bluestone, naturally. That'd be fun, and I'd join a game in a heartbeat if I could do that. But only if I could do that.

Because I really am starting to think I hate vampires. Not enough to have me want Sam to become a hunter or anything like that, but I just really, really dislike them. It's weird too, because I love "Dracula" stories and movies like "Habit," "Near Dark," and "Ravenous," as well as the "Blade" movies, but all of those feature vampires as the bad guys and, when all is done, dust and bones. But start Anne Rice-ing them up, romanticize and fantasize and make them heroes, and you've lost me. The arrogance of these creatures is topped only by the amount of admiration and envy so many humans have for them, both in the worlds of fiction and, of course, reality (I think back to all the young women I've known who'd go around calling themselves "vampires" and all the places where I see people fantasize about being sired... oy).

I suppose more than anything else, it's that vampires are the ultimate hedonists, representing an endless life of sensual pleasures without consequences, and I fucking hate sensualists. Few things irk me more than people that live only to consume and screw. And vampires, thanks to people like Anne Rice and my own cousin-in-law Mark Rein-Hagen, would seem to be the ultimate vision of the sensualist. And they piss me off. I think my favorite vampire, Cassidy from "Preacher," put it best when describing a cadre of Rice-esque New Orleans clan: "Fuckin' poncy wankers." Strange that a mythological construct should so piss me off, but then again, it could be well said that vampires do indeed exist, they just don't all suck blood.

As for werewolves, eh, the romantic appeal there is lost on me. I'm a plebeian, what can I say, but aside from a great John Landis movie and a brilliant character from "The Talisman," they do nothing for me.

I do also like eldridgeprime's idea of incorporating the Sam Bluestone character into a LOTR RPG- a normal human merchant in a small town who probably thinks Orcs are a myth. This would also likely involve getting knocked out a lot. Sounds like fun.

Comments

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

i know the feeling. It lead to me very recently quitting my job.

[tazira.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I know that temptation well. I fight it every day. Good luck finding a better one.

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

yes, my dream job of someday working at a used record/comic bookstore run by big breasted hookers. if only such a place existed.

I think i'm gonna be a minimum wage slave the rest of my life. I have no practical skills.

[tazira.livejournal.com]

Been there. The 'no practical skills' part, sadly, not the 'used record/comic bookstore run by big breasted hookers' part. I was an English major, which basically meant I was able to give you a brilliant Marxist Feminist Deconstruction on exactly why you should want fries with that.

The good news is, survive long enough, and the practical skills do come.

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

i just tell myself every day that Charles Bukowski had to put up with 30 r 40 some odd years of bullshit, bad jobs, and toiling in complete obscurity before he made any money as an author, and if he could do, then maybe i can too.

[tazira.livejournal.com]

I wish I could say authoring is all it's cracked up to be, but it ain't. Even there, you may find yourself toiling in obscurity, putting up with lousy agents and piss-poor editors and signing your soul and career away in bad book contracts. I suspect you have to write a lot of schlock books before you get the freedom to publish anything you'd actually be proud of. I haven't managed it yet, and my fourth is coming out in November. Still...if Charles Bukowski waded his way through all the bullshit, maybe we can, too. There's honest hope, if nothing else.

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

food for thought.