Captain Buzzkill Strikes!

[thehefner]

So, you've had a long hard week, and now the weekend's here. Maybe you just finished a show or work's been getting on your nerves and you thought you'd unwind with the help of some mind-altering substances, yes? Well, think again! For lurking in the shadows is that scoundrel of socializing, the Prince of Passive Aggression, the fiendish... CAPTAIN BUZZKILL!

He sulks in the corner and hogs all the Tostitos! He pretends to steal your brain and smash it into bits! He looks down at you, arms crossed, and sadly laments, "I'm not angry, I'm just... disappointed. I've have expected better from you." He uses his stand-up monologue powers, funny enough when sober, to reduce stoned girls to near-deadly hyperventilation!

Even those immune to his armor-piercing guilt beam cannot withstand the levity-dampening effects of Captain Buzzkill! NO CAST PARTY IS SAFE! Where will the fiend strike next? College parties? Community theater? YOUR HOME?

Captain Buzzkill! He will ruin your good time and force you to listen to him rant about comics, movies, cats and crying!

Comments

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA.

You should have just put the uniform back on.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I should have a monocle too. Baron von Buzzkill... stein!

[2sick2pray.livejournal.com]

LOL. wow, that's so funny. and true. ya friggin buzzkill.

but i luvs ya anyways and don't respect you any less for your choices with regards to those things. I wish the inverse were true, but I know there's a part of you that will always resent me for using the occasional recreational drug. whatever tho.

the funny thing is i'm guessing that this is in reference to a recent party, but it describes, to a tea, the way things went down at my party the summer before last....

Until we can come up with an archnemesis to that cares enough to do battle with ye, we proud stoners will have to just find private fortresses of solitude to partake of our substances in; away from your deadly guilt beam!!!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You know, the funny this is I have *immense* respect for you. It's just that very respect that makes me resent those choices you sometimes make. If I didn't think you were such a good person with a good head on their shoulders, I really wouldn't give a shit.

But believe me, when it comes to these matters, it totally is a hate the sin, love the sinner kind of thing (sorry if that sounds condescending in any way, not that it should, but I'm just afraid of mixed signals over LJ, for understandable reasons). I don't resent you as a person, and especially not as a friend. I hope you understand that.

But really, was I that bad at the party at your place? I didn't know enough people, much less you, to really be that much of an asshole. And really, I generally don't think people much give a shit about what I have to say or how I feel in such situations. They dismiss me and go about their good time, am I wrong? If I'm not, then, hmm... *smiles evilly* maybe it HAS been working after all...!

I'm more referring to the cast party for "Good." I wasn't really that bad per se... all right, maybe I was a little... but it was here that I gained the new outlook, "Hey, don't be sulky! FUCK WITH THEM!" And that served me well.

[2sick2pray.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for others, but i know you used that exact phrase (I'm just... disappointed. I'd have expected better from you) and it pissed me off immensely.

And you did stupider things that night than i did *cough* spence *cough* and you were sober! so who was making bad decisions?

Okay, well I guess that's not true. I did hook up with that german kid a little. *shudder* and while bryan was trying to get with me too. but oh well, we weren't actually dating at that point cause the little pussy got my number, like, a month earlier and had still not called or done anything to progress things along. but honestly, that was a relationship that needed to be sabotaged early on. I mean jesus christ. bryan. wtf was i thinking?

moving on...

yeah, i know hearing you say that really put a damper on my buzz...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, pot or no pot, we can all be fools. You had German boy, huh, didn't know that. And hey, I didn't *try* to have a relationship with her. *soto voice* just with Bryan's girlfriend... seriously, Bryan? Yeah, I would wonder what you both were thinking, but I am in no position to judge.

But seriously, did I really say that? Are you bloody sure? If so, wow, I thought I hadn't been a jerk like that since 11th grade. On one level, I am sincerely sorry to had said that. On another level, of course I can't be entirely sorry, especially if that's what I was thinking. That first part of me is sorry about that, by the way.

[2sick2pray.livejournal.com]

okay first things first... maybe we should move this discussion to a more private forum... say email?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Or in person, even. I agree. I'll let you know how/when I'm getting up to NYC as soon as I know.

[jcsbimp.livejournal.com]

The thing is . . . nobody's proven it (and you can substitute anything you want for "it") is bad for everybody. They've proven, at the most, that it's bad for most people, or it's bad for almost everyone when used above a certain level. But this kind of takes the whole democracy thing and moves it into the evangelical "What's good/bad for the majority is good/bad for frickin' EVERYBODY!" realm. Captain Buzzkill would wait for the "bad for most people" property to take effect, and point to the victims, and say "See?? I told you!" as if the fact that those who weren't harmed by it WEREN'T HARMED BY IT didn't matter. Of course, there's the anti-tobacco lobby who would lead you to believe "There's no such thing as not being harmed by it" -- making it sound more or less like a contact toxin.

Yes, various "it"s have been terribly, terribly badly abused by people you love, and that abuse has terribly, terribly badly wrecked their lives. Just like some rich kid had his parents terribly, terribly badly murdered by some gang member. And that's how superheroes are born.

Perhaps I can be your nemesis: Doctor HighTolerance!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, now you're taking it into the realm of the abstract, and now I'm going to have to actually think about this.

Are you calling me a superhero or supervillain, that's what I'm wondering now.

[jcsbimp.livejournal.com]

Heck, I'm an antihero at best, so you be whatever you wanna be.