Father, money, writing, Father, comics, money, Father, money

[thehefner]

I don't know if I mentioned this, but my father is currently paying me not to have a job. After robbing him of me this past summer with my Studio Theatre internship, he couldn't stand the thought of losing even more time of me to a college job. So instead he's been giving me a check for about $100-$125 every month. Today, he gave me a check for $200 so I'd have enough to buy presents for my mother and brother.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love free money. But understand, it's not like I have an assigned allowance payday, or a set amount of cash. He gives me this money 1.) when he decides to 2.) as much as he decides to. I don't think I have to say anything else on this if you're even vaguely familiar with the games he plays.

Being with him every day... buying him groceries and cases of tonic water... carrying out his garbage and empty gin bottles to the recycling... just by doing these little things and being at his house to take care of him, reading a little Dave Barry and watching the occasional movie with him... by doing all these things and keeping him happy, I will earn that paycheck. I just spent one day with him today, and I returned worn down, unhappy, and generally unplesant. And these past two days have been the *good* days.

It is, I admit, still nice to be with him on the good days. Dulled, brain-damaged, fried as he is he's still my father and when it's nice and he's as clear-headed as he can get these days, it's very nice. But in the back of my mind all I can think of is "How long will it last? How long until I do something or he thinks I've done something that is going hurt his feelings and threaten to revoke every generosity?" Because everything has strings attached with him, every gift, every kindness, and if I cross him he will pull the string and dangle it in front of my eyes. These checks, therefore, are hardly free money, and there's no telling when the next one will come.

Solution? I need a job after college. Not just for money, but for my own sanity. Even if... sigh... but can I really be comfortable pushing porno tapes again? The comic shop probably won't take me back because they're lying bastards. I wonder if that Creative Writing minor will actually come in handy? Or hell, what if I get a paying acting gig, that'd be sweet.

In summation: Father-manipulative and unstable. Summer job- good. Porno- bad. Money for acting/writing- good. FIRE BAD!

Comments

ohdeargodno...

[chickenhat.livejournal.com]

Dude, wait tables, be a bus boy, wash dishes; anything in the resturant business would would be better and more useful in the long run. Even a $6/hr job with only 20 hours a week would be more money and more self-respect.

Yes, of course, help your father when you can out of the goodness of your heart and because you actually care. But you should only do it because you want to and not for money. And you should leave when you want to, you're not his prisoner. Let me repeat that, You Are NOT His Prisoner. JesusHChrist with a double-edged vibrator, people who work as group home caregivers make as much as you do, part-time, every week.

And, yes, living anywhere near the DC area is going to take more than a minimum wage part-time job, it'll barely pay for your car and/or food. But it's a start.

And when you have the strength, before you walk out the door, put the money back down on the table and tell him you visited because you wanted to.

Re: ohdeargodno...

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

You might consider talking to reazik. She's got a knack for finding office jobs.

You also might consider temping. It's nontrivial money and you've got all or most of the computer skills you'd need to do a bang-up job of it. The hours are lousy but you're really, really flexible.

I used to wash dishes; then I flipped burgers. I considered pushing movies a major step up (but then, erol's didn't carry porn.) My local non-chain video store (the kind with the special back room, because that's their only niche against Blockbuster) always seems to have young women at the counter. I've always wondered what they thought of this. I imagine they try to think nothing at all.

Re: ohdeargodno...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I shall talk to reazik sometime, then. Good idea. I'm a fine typist (I fought my typing teacher and today I still hunt and peck, but plenty fast, I assure you). And I'll look into temping as well, good idea. Flexable is really going to be good, especially if I DO get cast in some professional theatre somewhere.

Re: ohdeargodno...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aw man that brought a smile to my face. Ok, first of all, living expenses won't be so bad. I mean, my Ma'll start charging me rent, but I can do that. I can still sponge off of her enough to make do with what I can't do with a paycheck. For now, of course. And yes, you're absolutely right about the job front. Even if it's to be waiting tables, Jebus give me strength.

Thanks, man. Although as for that leaving the money part, no, I don't see myself taking that high road anytime soon. Brother needs his food and comics.

FIRE BAD!

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

T-shirts...GOOD!

"YOUR ASS - MEAT"

But seriously. Do something you love. I think you'll find that you have the balls to do it. I know you have the talent. Rock.

Re: FIRE BAD!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh Hetfield.

Thanks for the vote of encouragement. I just fear, since both you and I know all too well the streets are littered with the bodies to above-average actors.