Dr. Leo Marvin, be with me now

At this point, I'm playing the role of Slender in MERRY WIVES OF WINSOR as a bizarre combination of Harpo Marx and Misty Christensen.

The rehearsal process over the next couple months should prove to be miiiiighty interesting, I can tell you that.

( Quiz: What Superhero Are You? )

damn straight

You scored as Moya (from Farscape). You are surrounded by muppets. But that is okay because they are your friends and have shown many times that they can be trusted. Now if only you could stop being bothered about wormholes. Coming on December 1, 2005: Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel </td> Moya (from Farscape) 81% Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars) 75% Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix) 69% SG-1 (from Stargate) 69% Enterprise D (from Star Trek) 63% Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica) 63% Serenity (from Firefly) 63% Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop) 44% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

for bored people like shadowcaptain and <lj site="livejournal.com

In honor of the newly-decreed International LiveJournal Fail To Suck Day, I present to you a handful of unproduced movie scripts, two excellent bits of unproduced missed opportunities, and two utter trainwreck twin missed bullets thank Christ they were not made.

SUPERMAN LIVES, by Kevin Smith. I actually haven't read it yet, but have heard only awesome things.

BATMAN: YEAR ONE, by Frank Miller. Remember how cool we all thought it was gonna be to have a Batman Year One movie directed by Darren Aronofsky and written by Frank Miller? I think we all kinda forgot somewhere along the line that Miller completely lost his once-brilliant touch somewhere around making "That Yellow Bastard," and this script is testament to how lucky we all truly were to have gotten BATMAN BEGINS instead.

WATCHMEN, by Sam Hamm. Terry Gilliam spent, like, fifteen years struggling to figure out how to make a movie of WATCHMEN, and this script, by original Batman screenwriter Sam Hamm, was reportedly the best of the bunch. That's the really sad part. The good news is apparently the current script by David Hayter is absolutely brilliant and even Moore says it's the best one yet made (not that he approves anyway, of course), and the team is still dedicated to making the film and doing it right. So we'll see if that happens. Because even if it was directed by Gilliam, this WATCHMEN would have just been sorely lacking to say the least.

DAY OF THE DEAD, by George A. Romero. This is the ORIGINAL big-budget script that was severely re-written for the final version. Many elements from this script were later incorporated into this year's LAND OF THE DEAD, but many Romero and zombie fans feel this original script would have been a masterpiece, especially compared to the much-maligned final version of the movie. Of course, me, DAY is still my favorite, in no small part to the special effects and, of course, Bub. In the original script, Bub isn't as loveable, save for one tender scene. He's even a sharp-shooting slap-leather badass. But Bub isn't the main character in either case, and the script is still truly a wonder to behold.

Enjoy, fellas. My only regret is that I couldn't track down the real script to BUCKAROO BANZAI VERSUS THE WORLD CRIME LEAGUE.

More FTSD stuff

Movie scripts not enough? Still feeling a bit like Doctor Forester's lab rats? Here, have some amusing things. I posted these before, but who cares, they bear posting again.

The Worst Album Covers, Part I and Part 2.

Superdickery.com. I'm sure you all know about it, but it's updated often.

CHUD.com's staff has written three movie reviews of note that are worth more attention than the movies themselves. First, there's their masterful review of ANACONDAS: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID. Then there's the infamous review of that Ice Cube biker epic Torque. And finally, my personal favorite, CHUD editor Nick Nunziata's eloquent, insightful, even poignant review of SAW..

Hope these help, o bored people.