Story Meme

Yoink, holli!

Give me the title of a story I haven't written, or a story you wish *someone* had, and I will tell you what happens in that story.

I reserve the right to be utterly stuck or utterly stink.

Two Frivolous-But-Cool Things and One Serious Cause

IN NEED OF RECOMMENDATIONS REGARDING DIGITAL RECORDING SOFTWARE AND STUFF
-Say, anyone know a good and cheap (free, preferably) software for the recording of things to convert them to mp3 format? And for that matter, a good and cheap/free karaoke software? I need to record samples of my singing to send to some people. Ultimately, I'd also like to record Johnny Go and Bub songs and readings of Hefner Monologues, but the song samples are the immediate goal. I need help recording my singing for digital format. And I need help finding things to record. So yes, if anyone can help, I'd greatly appreciate it.

ATTENTION ARTISTS!
-Who here with great artistic abilities would be willing to provide a drawing of Bub and Johnny Go? I'd like to have something to present to the master, George Romero himself, when I ask for his blessing to use Bub. The more drawings (and it goes without saying, from great artists) the better! I'd like the freedom to plot and plan these comics without fear of being sued, y'know? I'm totally serious about doing these stories, so if any of you talented people would be willing to help, I'd very, very much appreciate that too.

LANDMINES IN COLOMBIA
-Props to kmousie for pointing out the appalling state of landmines in Colombia. Full information, including how to make a donation, are available at Adopt-A-Minefield.

booze and old people, ewwww!

So Ma's thinking I should go to bartending school.

On one hand, it would be a well-paying and interesting way to research for stories. On the other, anybody else think it's odd to send the son of the alcoholic to bartending school?

In other news, it's only been one day since I've been left with my grandmother, and already I'm going mad. It's bad enough having taking care of one elderly foul-smelling slightly-mad relative who has absolutely no regard for personal health or hygiene, who leaks bodily fluids wherever they go because they don't bother to take care of themselves no matter what help is offered, whose personal odors within a fifteen foot radius are vomit-inducing, and who is so generally embittered and paranoid that they sit, content to live in abject squalor and stew over how everyone has wronged them. Now I have two. Only although this one isn't an alcoholic; this one hoards food and keeps stealing ours. She's been eating mom's candy cake decorations for god's sake. We have to hide all our food and snacks throughout the house in places where we think and hope she wouldn't look.

... On second thought, times like this it'd be really handy to know how to whip up a whiskey sour.