Jul. 21st, 2007

thehefner: (Me B&W)
1.) It probably was theoretically a good idea to want to get in shape before a performance... but in the future, don't start really working out just a few days before the big performance. Those muscles you hadn't used in a long time? Yeah, they hurt. A lot. Going through a whole show like that, you kinda feel like someone kicked your ass, didn't it? Don't do it again. It's about eighteen hours since the show, and you still feel out of breath. Ow.

2.) Drink more water during the show. During. You have transitions. Use them. To drink water. Don't *sip.* DRINK, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST. Ow.

3.) Keep the bowler derby and $3 blue suit. It gets attention and sticks with people.

4.) Ya done good. People seemed to love it like hell. Resist the urge to read THE WASHINGTON POST in the next couple of days, as the reviewer was in the audience, and the Style section yesterday contacted me (by which I mean, you, self) for some pictures of the production. Hopefully you (by which you mean, me) sent them in before it was too late. You/I won't know until we read it next week, once the run is done.

5.) But-but-but it's THE WASHINGTON POST! I hafta read it! I hafta I hafta I hafta!

6.) No! They called your title "garish!" They're dead to you! DEAD, you hear?!

7.) But-but-but... POST!! *incoherent whining noises that sound something like "meh-neh-mih-nih-neh!"*

8.) What did I/you say?!

9.) ... nothing, sir.

10.) That's right, bitch.

11.) Ow.

12.) Yeah, motherfuckin' ow.
thehefner: (Night of the Creeps)
IF YOU COME SEE THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES, DO NOT COME LATE. YOU WILL NOT BE LET IN.

Just a general warning, as they had to turn away a couple people at the door. People who already bought tickets, including the cute 30-something lady from the comic store.

Still, it's probably kind of foolish to issue such a warning at this moment. With Harry Potter out, the internet (nay, the whole world) is dead today. I feel like Neville from I AM LEGEND, here.

I can just see what's ahead of me tonight: they're come for me, surrounding my house, and shouting "COME OUT, HEFFIE! COME OUT! SNAPE WAS KEYZER SOZE, HERMIONE WAS A DUDE, DOBBY WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME, AND SIRIUS BLACK WAS REALLY DRACULA AND BEETHOVEN! COME OUT!!!"

Also, once more: ow. Yay. Ow.

September 2012

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